I’d only been here three days, and I was already completely and utterly bewitched.
I’d just slumped to a seat on the porch steps, halfway between the warmth of the house and the darkness of the rural night, when I heard the door creak open behind me and gently thud shut again. Footsteps followed—then Beau was sitting next to me on the steps of the porch—not touching me, like he was afraid I was going to bolt. We were both quiet for a moment, breathing, listening to the cicadas sing.
“You’re not okay,” he murmured.
I heaved a deep breath. “No. I am…thoroughly freaked out.”
“Why?”
I glanced back toward the house, toward the family inside: the family with the right politics, the right vibes, all the right things to say. It felt like a trick.
This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the girl who landed in the Hallmark movie…I was the girl with a bad fucking attitude who showed up in town, banged the hot mechanic, and left.
Yet here I was.
At family dinner.
Playing the part of the next in line at the execution.
“I’m trying to figure out a way to say this that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole,” I started.
Beau laughed. “You uh…you say that a lot for someone who doesn’t often come off as an asshole.”
“Liar.”
He shrugged. “Okay. Believe what you wanna believe.”
I scowled at him, but he just sat there—still listening, waiting.
“Damn it…react to me,” I muttered.
“Sorry,” he said. “Not really one for dramatic reactions.”
“So you’re not going to get pissed?”
“I might, but I’ll just bottle it up.”
I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. It didn’t drop. Okay…if I was sticking around, maybe he would need therapy.
But that was the point—was I sticking around?
“Beau,” I started. “I just…I think I just figured out that I don’t have a choice in this? And that’s pretty fucking scary.”
His jaw tightened: a reaction, for once. “Mmhm.”
“You already knew this.”
He sighed. “I knew it from the moment I walked outside at Mabel’s to help you with your car.”
I had no idea how to react to that, how to feel. My fingers curled on my knees, then uncurled again. I saw Beau shift out of the corner of my eye, and I knew he wanted to hold my hand…but thought better of it.
“I didn’t—” He paused, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, voice rough. “Those folks inside…they were quite literally pokin’ fun at me for bein’ next on the chopping block when you rolled into the parking lot at Mabel’s, and I was sayin’ no, absolutely not. Then…you get out of your car with that damn moon worship sticker after they just said I would end up with some moon worshipper or some shit?—”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish.” He looked out at the lawn, swiping his hand down his face now and rubbing the stubble on his chin. “I didn’t mean to trick you or nothin’. You just…you showed up, and I didn’t want to do what the town wanted, but then you asked me to make you dinner, then you asked me to fuck you…and where in the past three days was I supposed to mention we had no choice in the matter?”
I looked at him sideways. “So…you didn’t want to fuck me, you justhad to.”
