And as Cerian gazes at her with all the understanding that could only come from knowing what it’s like to carry his own impossible burdens, something inside her shatters.
Then the tears come. She tries to hold them back. To stop them. Arisanna Montarac never cries.
And yet they won’t stop.
He draws her to his chest as sobs wrack her frame, and he rubs her back and combs his fingers through her hair. How does he know? The little things that make her feel safe—that her mother used to do when Arisanna was too young to understand how heavy this burden of living up to the world’s expectations of her would be.
“I’m...I’m sorry,” she says with a shuddering breath.
What must he think of her now?
“I am not.”
She pulls back to search his face again. His eyes hold a devotion so intense she can barely breathe. It’s overwhelming and intoxicating and mesmerizing all at once.
“I told you I want all of you. With no walls between us,” he says.
A strangled laugh catches in her throat. “I’m pretty sure you were referring to...to something other than tears when you said that.”
“All the parts of you that are...” He pauses for a moment as if gathering his words, and she doesn’t rush him. “All the parts of you that are mine alone to love.”
Her breath catches again, and he doesn’t look away.
“For someone who isn’t good with words, you have your moments, Cerian Westaria.”
A smile ghosts across his face. “Let me be to you what you are to me. Please.”
A shudder passes through her. “What do you mean?”
“Let me be your safe place. The person you don’t have to hide with. Your...everything.”
Her eyes flit back and forth between his. The intensity. The sincerity. The vulnerability.
“Your everything?” she whispers.
He slides his hand along her jaw and leans his forehead against hers. “My everything.”
One more solitary tear slips down her cheek, and he wipes it away with his thumb.
“My light will fill your darkness,” he whispers. “And when my light wanes, yours will guide me.”
She chokes on a lingering sob.
“And we’ll be stronger together,” he says softly.
Then he kisses her. Gently. Tenderly. Full of affection and devotion. And she kisses him back with a longing so strong it’s terrifying. An aching need for him fills her. It gnaws at her and burns within her.
And she gives in to the desire, letting go of the fear of losing control. Of not being enough. She straddles his lap and kisses him eagerly with a hunger that seems to catch him off guard, but he quickly responds in kind. His hand is hot when he tentatively slides it along her leg, and shivers shoot to her toes at the newness of this touch.
“No more walls,” she whispers against his lips.
“Nothing between us,” he murmurs as he trails kisses along her jaw.
She slides her thumbs over the upper edges of his ears, and his breathing grows shallow as he pulls back to look into her eyes. There’s fire in his gaze. A blazing passion that threatens to consume her.
Then he takes a deep breath and breathes out slowly before slipping his hands over hers and pulling them away from his ears as he threads his fingers between her own. He’s so warm.
“I don’t think I can do this here.” An aching longing fills his voice, sending threads of heat racing deep toward hercore. “I wish the train would stop.” He says it so quietly she can barely hear him over the thrumming of both their hearts in her ears.
