“Chapter nine,” I say, glancing at Mom’s still face, the machines around her, and the room.
Kane is paying for all this.
My chest warms and hurts at the same time. I’ve always been proud and I don’t like to ‘need’ someone else, yet I can’t deny the sense of relief I feel knowing I won’t have to worry because Mom is taken care of. Kane made sure of that.
My Kane.
Suddenly, I have a strong urge to message him and say thank you, but I draw in a steadying breath and begin to read instead.
NINETEEN
KANE
Jessica doesn’t stir when I brush a strand of blonde hair from her mouth.
After I dropped her off, I had shit to do with Cash, but I came back here as soon as I could. There are no signs of her siblings. Her brother is long gone. It’s just my girl, asleep in the armchair, her cheek pressed against the curve of her shoulder.
The rhythmic beeping of the heartbeat monitor and blood pressure machine creates a soothing white noise. Above, an airplane rumbles, then fades as it glides across the sky.
Crouching, I pick up the tattered paperback from the floor, which must have slipped from her fingers when she fell asleep.
Once it’s back on the nightstand, I push my hands into my pockets. The dried tear streaks on Jessica’s pale cheeks tug at some unpleasant emotion inside me.
She’s been crying. It’s a healthy response to grief, but I don’t like seeing her sad. Don’t like that she’s hurting.
My gaze slides from Jessica to her fragile Mom. She’s wafer thin, with a yellow tint to her translucent skin and dry, straw-like hair. Most of her muscle mass is gone, and what’s left is skin andbones. Death is a cruel shadow, and I hate how it robs Jessica of her smiles.
Now they’re rare. Tainted with shame, as if she commits a crime if she lets herself feel something good.
My attention drifts back to Jessica and her soft breaths. The tug in my chest returns, so I rub at the aching center, wondering what it’ll take to get hold of the reaper so I can strangle that fucker.
I slip an arm under Jessica’s knees, another around her back, and lift her onto my lap before settling into the armchair with her on my lap.
Her slow breaths fall into the dip of my throat, between my collarbones, where I’ve unbuttoned my shirt. I bury my nose in her hair, filling my lungs with the fresh scent of my peppermint shampoo. I like that she carries my scent now after I claimed her in the shower. I like that she fits so perfectly in my arms. And I like that she’s still got my cum inside her.
I look around the room at her harsh reality, then shift her slightly in my arms so I can study her face. How long did she cry before she fell asleep? I should have been here to hold her. I should have been here for her.
A muted pressure builds under my ribs and spreads in a slow wave. It’s warm and aching, all at once. I can’t sit here and do nothing. I just… I can’t?—
Shifting out from beneath Jessica, I place her gently back down and press a kiss to her forehead. She doesn’t stir.
The nurse looks up from her computer screen when I come thundering out of the room.
Her eyes widen, and she scrambles upright. “Mr. Ravencourt.”
“I need to speak to the doctor on duty.”
Is it just me, or is my voice thicker than usual? I rub the side of my neck and glance around the empty waiting area while thenurse makes a phone call. The artificial carnations beside me on the counter have a layer of dust, and the same goes for the ficus tree as you enter the waiting area.
I’m pushing the carnations out of the way with a less-than-impressed expression when the nurse puts the phone down and gives me a nervous smile, like they all do when a Ravencourt is in the building. It’s as if they think I’ll get my father to buy the building on the spot only to raze it to the ground. Tempting, given that the fucking carnations look as if they came straight out of a dollar store and were forgotten about for a decade. I’m surprised the patients don’t have dust on them too.
“He’s on his way. Why don’t you take a seat in the meantime?”
I take one look at the chairs and decide against it. They look like they came flat-packed and were assembled by a drunk college freshman.
“That’s alright. I’ll wait here.”
She studies me uncertainly, then glances down the hallway as if she can will the doctor to hurry up.
