My girl Arina’s the only one who still feels real, but basketball eats up all her time—practices, meetups, even traveling for tournaments. She’s one of the best on their team. I already know she’s gonna be a beast in college. I just hope she doesn’t forget about me when she gets famous.
Walking out of the cafeteria, I see the popular girls clumped together. I swear it’s the same thing every day with them—snapping selfies, gossiping like they work for TMZ. They act like all this shit matters, like their cliques and captions will mean anything a year from now.
They won’t.
I’ve already learned the hard way that even forever friendships come with expiration dates.
As I walk past them, I pass a group of skater boys. I’ve seen them around, but never really paid them any attention until today. They’re the laid-back, stuck in their own world type. But today, two of them are definitely looking my way.
I recognize one of them right away—the tall one. I ran smack into him leaving campus once, and he actually stopped to introduce himself. Jacob— at least I think that’s what he said. I seriously need to slow down on the smoking; my brain is barely holding on. I was clearly too wrapped up in my own bullshit to even notice how gorgeous he is.
His smirk pulls me in like a fish on a hook. His eyes roam over my body, like he’s memorizing every inch, even from afar.
My heart stumbles over itself, but I force myself to hold his stare until he smiles, like he knows I’ll be replaying it in my head later.
His lips are the perfect shade of rosy pink, and even from a distance, they look so soft, I bet they taste like something sweet.
And God, If only I can find just have one lick.
Heat rises to my cheeks, and before I know it, I’m rushing past them—needing to get to my safe space, anywhere that isn’t here.
But my pulse won’t slow down.
It thunders in my chest, every beat reminding me that no matter how fast I move, I can’t outrun the way he looked at me—or the way it made me feel.
Relax, Jainey. It’s just a smile.
But deep down, somethings telling me it wasn’tjusta smile. Plus he doesn’t look like the type of guy who’ll smile at someone for no reason.
Fuck,I should’ve smiled back.
? ? ?
I sit in Miss Hernandez’s classroom, my lunch spread out in front of me—carrots with ranch, a barbecue sandwich, and an apple. I pick at it while my head swarms with all the shit I try to bury a little deeper every day—my mom, my ex–fake friends, and everything else life’s managed to drain out of me.
When it’s silent like this, it’s easier for me to try and bury my thoughts.
Miss Hernandez always goes to the bathroom soon after I sit down, leaving me here by myself. She’s usually gone most of lunch, and I don’t mind it. I think it’s because she needs a break—and because she trusts me enough to let me stay.
Sometimes kids wander in asking if she’s around, and I just tell them no.
If I wanted to deal with people, I’d be outside like everyone else. On occasion she has to lock me in becausetechnically, I’m not supposed to be here alone—but that’s never stopped her,thankfully. So, it actually gives me the perfect space to clear my head and daydream in peace.
It’s usually the same dream—a rich, gorgeous man appearing right after I graduate, pulling up to the school in a white Bentley, a huge bouquet of red roses already sitting in the passenger seat.
Everyone would lose their minds.
A girl can dream. I’d keep the flowers forever. I’ve always thought dead roses were more beautiful than living ones.
I also read; I love romance and happy endings, probably because I see so few of them in real life. I even watch Netflix on my phone—on myownaccount. It’s one of the few luxuries I’ve earned for myself.
Having a job might drain me, but at least it buys me little escapes like this.
But today, the only thing heavy on my mind is Jacob. God I hope that’s even his name, but all I have to go off of is my fried memory.
Even from several feet away, I could see he had about four, maybe five inches on me. I’ve always been a little insecure about my height—five-seven, sounds fine until you’re constantly around a bunch of boys who only want pocket-sized girlfriends they can toss around.
Most of the guys I’ve been with weren’t even from this school, but at least they cleared me by an inch or two. Jacob’s tall enough that I could wear heels and still look up to him.
