“You serious?” he asks, lips curving into a half-smile.
I nod, heart hammering. “Yes! I actually did it. I’m so proud of myself, you have no idea. I rarely ever make grand decisions without someone in my ear giving my shit for it.”
He cups my face, kissing me hard before pulling back just enough to speak. His voice is low, stripped bare. “You telling me first… means more than you know.”
I can’t help but smile, my arms looping tighter around his neck. “I told you you’re special.”
“Good,” he murmurs, kissing me again, softer this time. “’Cause I’m proud of you, Lolli. Didn’t expect you to do something like this, but if it’s what you want… I’ll support you any day out of the week.”
I let his words land, even though part of me resists them. I want to believe him. But doubt still hums beneath the surface.
Is he saying it because he truly means it… or because it doesn’t cost him anything? Men always think they’re fine with their girls being strippers—until reality of it sets in. Saint isn’t my man—well not officially.
But maybe that’swhyit’s so easy for him to say he’s proud.
He kisses me again, slower this time, but when he pulls back, his honey-coated eyes don’t leave mine. His fingers rest on my waist, his gaze softer now—almost cautious. “So,” he says quietly, like the question’s been waiting for the right moment. “What are we, Jainey? What is this?”
The words hit harder than I expect. My lips part, but nothing comes out.
“Am I just going to be someone you hit up when you feel like it?” he continues, jaw tightening, voice rougher now. “Am I supposed to keep watching you go back and forth between me and Cairo?” His eyes search mine, frustration cutting through the calm. “I need to know if this is all it’s ever gonna be—especially with you working at Teasers now… or if I’m just wasting my time.”
I drop my eyes for a second, exhaling hard. “Saint…” My fingers toy with the tie of my robe as I try to untangle the mess in my head. “Like I told you both already, I don’t think getting into a relationship is right for me right now, especially with me working at Teasers. I don’t even know if I can do both. I’m still trying to figure out what I want for myself.”
I lift my gaze back to his, voice soft but edged with sarcasm. “And besides—you weren’t upset when both of you had me. So, I don’t get why it’s suddenly a problem now.”
His grip on my waist tightens slightly, his voice low but steady. “We can take it slow, pretty. I ain’t asking you to lock it all down tonight. But I need you to know—I want you. For me. Not part-time.”
He pauses, searching my face, his thumb brushing against my hip like it’ll help him steady his next words. “Yeah, the first time… was just that. But ever since then, I haven’t thought about another girl. Not once.”
His jaw tightens, the honesty in his caramel delights impossible to miss.
“You don’t ever really leave my thoughts,” he admits. “I wake up wishing you were there with me, wishing I didn’t have to imagine what it’d feel like to roll over and see yourface. Even doing the simplest of things—I catch myself wishing you were there.”
His eyes hold mine. “And when I close my eyes, it’s your lips, your smile, that vanilla scent I can’t seem to forget. It’s exhausting in the best and worst way.”
The rawness in his eyes makes my heart ache for him. His heart already seems to know exactly what it wants, while mine is pulled in too many directions at once. Before Daniel, I’d never had someone want me more than I wanted them. Letting him go was easy because I made sure to keep our sex and real life separate. But no matter how much I tell myself I’m doing the same with these sexy-ass brothers, I know it’s a lie I’m only telling myself.
“I ain’t gonna lie, pretty—it hurts seeing you with Cairo,” he says, his voice unsteady. “Yeah, that’s my boy. We tight. But I can’t pretend it doesn’t mess with me, knowing you’re with him too.” His grip on my hand tightens slightly, trying to anchor his words. “I don’t wanna share you anymore, Jainey. Not with him. Not with anybody. I’m sorry we thought we could both have you but I’m telling you… no one else gets to have now—not even Cairo’s worthy of you.”
I don’t trust myself to speak. My heart’s tangled between a truth I’m scared to face and the comfort I’ve found in both of them.
I hold his gaze, the tension between us stretching thin. His words touch deeper than I care to admit, but there’s something else in them—something Cairo has never given me. Cairo gives me fire, passion, the thrill of losing myself. But Saint… Saint makes me feel like I have a purpose in life. And that’s something I want more than all the thrill in the world.
I press my hand against his chest, the beat of his heart pulsing under my fingertips. “I hear you,” I say softly. “And I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you. I’m just saying… I’m not ready to promise either of you more than I can give right now.”
His jaw flexes, but he doesn’t pull away.
“I do want you,” I add, voice steadier this time. “You actually seeme. And that means more everything to me. I’ve never felt so bad for wanting two people at the same time.”
The hardness in his expression cracks just enough for relief to flicker across his face.
“So, you’ll give me a chance?” he asks, eyes searching mine.
“Yes,” I whisper, nodding. “I promise I’ll make a decision soon, sexy. Just give me some time.”
For the first time since the conversation started, his mouth curves into a real smile. He kisses me again, but softer this time, his hand sliding up to cup the back of my neck.
“That’s all I needed to hear,” he murmurs against my lips. “Just don’t play with me, Jainey. I’m not Cairo. I’m not in this just to fuck you and have fun.”
