I lower my arm. “So, what’s wrong?”
Stevie closes her eyes, looking more rested but still exhausted from yesterday. “We’re so young.”
“And?” I shrug. She thinks I haven’t thought any of this through. I have to admit, I’m a little more than offended. “Do you love me?” She nods. “Do you see us getting married?” She nods again. “Would you have said yes if I had asked after graduation, even if we had no financial stability by then either?” One more dip of her chin. “What is stopping you then?”
I stand when she covers her face and cries. My chest cracks at that sound. I tuck the box back into my pocket and hug her tight.
“I don’t want to have kids.” The statement comes out muffled, but I hear it clearly.
My body tenses.
Grabbing her face, I tip it up. “Eyes on me.” Her eyes shoot to mine, her lips wobbling like they did yesterday.Fuck.“May I ask why?” My voice is as calm as I can make it. I’m not angry, just damn surprised.
She shrugs. “Ever since I got diagnosed, I haven’t wanted kids. I don’t want to put my body through that.” Stevie’s gaze softens, and the image of her having a swollen belly while carrying my baby disappears. This isn’t something we’ve talked about. In fact, it’s the only thing we’ve never talked about. I’ve always pictured a life with kids, only one, really, possibly two, because of the musician lifestyle I might pursue in the future. But if it’s between having kids and letting go of Stevie, I’ll always choose Stevie.
She glances at the door. “I’m going to have the surgery next year. My neurologist and gynecologist are the only people who know.” She sniffles and looks at me with a straight face. “Levi, if you need biological children, I am not the woman for you. You will end up resenting me.” I close my eyes and let out a deep breath.She’s saying no. “This doesn’t mean I never want kids.” Popping my eyelids back open, she holds a finger up, knowing I was about to speak. “I want to adopt. If you think that, that can make you happy, then…”
I grab a hold of the bed again, a new future already forming in my head. “If I’m okay with that, then what?”
“I want you to think about it and make your decision then.” Stevie observes the bed and purses her lips. “If I could make a dramatic exit right now, I would.”
A chuckle leaves me. “Stevie?—”
“No,” she shuts me down. “I need you to think about this. For now, let’s have breakfast together and watch some TV before they retake my blood pressure and stab me with some more blood thinners, okay?”
Forty-eight hours of not sleeping next to her will be fucking torture, but if my woman needs this, I’m willing to give her anything she wants.
“Okay.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
STEVIE
“Done!” I lay my pencil down and wait for the timer to sound.
Levi looks at his watch, impressed. “And with five minutes to spare, Bambi. Not bad.” Lifting my chin, I give him a bat of my eyelashes. “No bragging till I check out how many you got right.”
“That gives me time to jump on the treadmill then.” I hop off the stool from the breakfast nook and grab the remote, turning on the walking pad. I pick up the attachment that transforms it into a treadmill and lock it in place.
“Don’t overexert yourself.” Levi doesn’t spare me a glance as he taps the pen he’s checking my answers with to his lips. His white T-shirt tightens with the movements as he writes something down. I follow the flex of his muscles. All he needs is a pair of glasses, and it’s Clark Kent reincarnated.
It’s been so long since we’ve had sex. I miss having him inside of me.
“Focus,” he says, and I snap my eyes up to his face, where I find him smirking. He rubs the side of his mouth. “I think you have a little drool right there.”
Rolling my eyes, I stick my tongue out and turn on the TV. Jess and Rory fill the screen as they stroll along the streets of Stars Hollow.
Normally, Levi would run over and carry me to the bedroom with the look I was just throwing his way, but it’s only been a week since I’ve gotten back from the hospital, and the recovery has been as expected. Not slow but not extremely fast either. I’ve been using the treadmill to build strength in my lower body again, since being in the hospital bed for three days weakened my legs. Other than that, everything has gone back to normal.
My parents and Jenn stayed with us for a couple of days and only left when I insisted that I was feeling perfectly fine and needed to study. They were reluctant at first, and Jenn felt guilty because of what had happened with my drink, but all of them knew Levi would take care of me. I also told Jenn it wasn’t her fault a million times over.
It’s not just Levi who’s been here for me, either. His grandma and mom have called every day at eleven a.m. on the dot, and Em, Kami, Jake, Cam, Luna, and even Brad drop by from time to time.
Emma, being Emma, has brought me two muffin baskets, a bouquet of flowers, and an edible fruit arrangement. When I told her the gifts were completely unnecessary, she responded by telling me that it was how she was raised and that her dad would bring sweet treats whenever she was stuck at home sick. Although I’m pretty sure she’s doing it because she feels guilty as well.
Kami and Luna have been bringing me smoothies and vitamins that they made sure to check with my parents before buying. Meanwhile, the boys have been helping Jake with the whole Tiffany situation. They needed to be able to take care of it without repercussions for what Levi had done to Andrew a couple of months ago.
Jake and his lawyer spoke to my parents and convinced them to let the professionals handle it. In the end, my moms and dad knew that his lawyer was a shark and would stop at nothing until he got the results we wanted. And that he did.
