Prologue
STEVIE
January - Spring Semester - Junior Year
“He grabbed me by the neck, brought me to my knees, and stuffed his big di?—”
“Enough!” Mom yells from the driver’s seat. “Between you fiddling with your keys and hearing Jenny have to talk about her latest sexcapade, you’re driving me insane.”
My left hand, where the keys are, halts all movement. I cringe as we remain silent while “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John plays.
My best friend’s voice comes through the phone that’s still pressed to my ear. “Shit, I didn’t know she could hear me.”
Stifling my laugh, I throw my mom an apologetic look. She looks mortified.
“I’ll call you back, J.”
“Have fun at the new apartment,” she singsongs before hanging up.
Mom looks ahead at the six blocks separating me from seeing him again.
“Sorry, Mom,” I whisper.
She shrugs, already moving past it. Mom’s known Jenny for as long as I have, meaning she’s like a second daughter to her, and hearing about the last blow job she gave is probably the closest thing resembling torture that she’s experienced. Not that it’s my favorite thing to hear about either, but she’s my best friend, and it’s what friends do; we listen.
Shaking my head, I return to the present, and nerves bubble in my stomach. They’re good nerves, which are a rarity for me nowadays. I’m excited to see him, it’s been too long.
After a moment, Mom’s eyes are on me again. I can always feel them without having to look. I’ve gotten used to being stared at over the past few months. Honestly, it’s overwhelming, but I don’t blame them. If I have a kid someday and the same thing that happened to me happened to them, I’d probably be worse. Maybe since I know how it feels, I’d never let them out of my sight.
Mom knows that I need this, though. I’ve been talking about it for months and have been looking forward to it since the end of summer. I was so excited about moving in with Andrew that I couldn’t wait another day. I convinced my moms to drive me here tonight instead of tomorrow afternoon. They both know how much I hate asking people to give me a ride, but it’s a necessary evil, and they relented.
The car stops in front of the apartment building, and my heart fills with the love I feel for Andrew and the elation coursing through me because of this newfound freedom—the first moment of independence I’ve had in so long.
We step out of the car, and I look at the building. After silently staring at the front door for five minutes, I try to gather my thoughts. This is where I’ll spend the next five months—Andrew’s last semester and the end of my junior year.
A car alarm goes off, scaring me, and I finally pry my eyes away to see Mom staring in the same direction.
I take her hand in both of mine. “I’m okay, Mom. I will be okay. It’s time to loosen the reins.”
Her eyes fill with tears as she squeezes my hands back. “I know.”
She lets go and helps me with the two suitcases and duffle bag I packed. We both keep standing in front of the building, and I can tell she’s stalling. She’s scared, and I have to admit that I am, too.
“Do you need help bringing these upstairs?” she asks.
“Andrew will help me,” I explain nervously. My heart races at the thought of finally getting some much-needed alone time with my boyfriend.
“I’ll see you in three weeks before classes start.”
Mom grabs my shoulders and turns me to her as I fidget with the keys.
“Please don’t get too excited this late at night. Something might happen,” she whispers.
My hands stop moving altogether while my entire body tenses. I’d forgotten about that, which was nice. It was rare that I’d fail to remember something of that magnitude, and it was peaceful. Mom seems to notice that I had been distracted for the first time in a while because her eyes soften.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She hugs me while I bend the tiniest bit to accommodate her height. I’m not extremely tall, only five-foot-seven, but Mom’s five-foot-two.
“You’ll be okay. Ignore what I said. Be excited and happy. Lord knows you’re owed some fun.” She lets go of me and tucks a strand of my long hair behind my ear as she always does before saying goodbye.
