It’s there that I notice she has her duffle bag with her, and I speak up. “Did you really come to apologize?”
“Well, yeah, why would I lie about that?” She tries to keep her face calm, but I can see through the bullshit she’s spewing.
“Let your sister speak, Kamila,” Mom says next to me, but I ignore her.
“Couldn’t find another place to stay because Shaina kicked you out?”
Ana scoffs. “Of course not. Shaina loves me?—”
“Cut the bullshit, Ana?—”
“Language,” Mom says loudly.
“Fine. Shaina did kick me out, but that’s not the reason I came here.”
She slowly makes her way to me and takes my hand. I flinch at the contact, remembering how violent she was not too long ago. Ana’s mouth quirks up, giving me the same smile I’ve been seeing for years. The one she used on me, our teachers, our family, and on Cameron whenever she tried to get out of trouble. It was never genuine, it was always for show. If she really wanted to fix things between us, she would have taken Mom’s offer up on family counseling, but this is all about her.
It’s always been about her.
How to make herself look good in front of our mother so she can move back in. How to get back into my life to manipulate meagain, and sure as shit, the next words that come out of her mouth prove it.
“You know I’d never hurt you on purpose, Kami. I regret what I did. You don’t know how my relationship with Cameron was back then. I felt lonely. And I’m sorry that you feel like you can’t forgive me for what happened over two and a half years ago. I do hope you are able to accept my apology now.”
Ana continues to keep that hopeful smile up. That is until the laugh I’ve been holding back comes out as a snort.
“What’s so funny?” She quickly lets go of me and I see a flash of annoyance on her face till she puts her mask back on, feigning hurt. “I’m trying to apologize to you?—”
I laugh even louder, cutting her off. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I ever bought your shitty ass lies.”
“I’m not lying. I’m being sincere to you and our mother. You’re acting like a selfish bitch.”
“Language!” Mom yells again.
At the word selfish, I immediately sober and get close enough to my sister so only she can hear me.
“You think you can try and come back into my life so you can continue manipulating me for your own benefit and insecurities? To make yourself look good in front of our parents so you can use them for housing and food? Fat fucking chance, hermana. I see you for who you really are now, and unless you get help, there’s no fixing this.”
Finally, I turn towards Mom whose lips are pressed together.
“Of course, you can spend Christmas with us,” she finally says. “But no funny business.”
I look at my mother in disbelief. Those were the last words I expected her to say. The breakfast I ate two hours ago churns in my stomach.
“You can’t be serious?—”
“Kamila, enough. I want both my daughters here for Christmas, and that’s final. Ana and I can talk about our issues another day.”
My mouth opens and closes again. She really doesn’t see it. Nora Morales doesn’t see her own daughter’s bullshit lies, or at least won’t bring herself to think about Ana that way.
She might be able to get through today because we’re her daughters, but I sure as hell can’t pretend that everything is fine.
“I’m not spending Christmas here with her.”
Ana’s sigh echoes in the silent room, and my mother’s face falls. “What does that mean, Kamila?”
“It means that I’m no longer speaking to her until she gets the help she needs. And Ana needs a lot of it. She needs a proper diagnosis, and until that happens, I no longer consider her my sister after all these years of manipulation. You might not see it now, Mom, but one day you will.”
“Kamila, let’s not be harsh?—”
