Directing my attention toward the drink and tree set up, I reply truthfully. “I don’t know what else there is to say, really. It’s all in the past. We’re trying to start fresh.”
“It doesn’t seem like it’s all in the past,” he mumbles.
Lifting and narrowing my eyes at him, I scoff.
“How can you have afresh startif you still haven’t addressed your issues and let go of old grudges?” He gives me a sad smile.
That’s a question I’ve asked myself in the past and a conversation I’ve played over and over in my head. But I find it almost impossible to do without Ana for some reason. She was part of our group and a massive part of why I stopped speaking to him. If I still haven’t told her about Cameron going to Driscoll, how am I supposed to ask her to join in on the conversation?Hey sis, your ex-boyfriend and I hooked up a couple of months ago and continued to until I broke things off because I felt guilty. But don’t worry, we’re just friends now and no, we didn’t talk about graduation night yet.
Yeah, that’ll go over well.
When I remain at a loss for words, Abe continues, “I’m just goin’ to say this. I saw the way that boy looked at you and he likes you. A lot. If you ask me, you should probably take care of your past issues before seein’ how you feel about him.”
The day Abe met him was the day I asked Cam for a break. That was weeks ago and he saw something brewing back then? Am I that blind? Or is that why I asked for the break?
My palms have gotten so sweaty from the anxiety I’ve been experiencing over this conversation that my phone slips from my hand and lands on the counter in the middle of taking a picture. God damn Cameron and Abe for getting in my head. I’m trying to work over here.
Abe chuckles. “Everythin’ okay over there?”
“Doing just fine, Abe,” I deadpan. “Listen, if he does like me, I guess I’ll find out soon enough and deal with it then,” I say, attempting to sound as casual as possible.
If Cameron were to confess any feelings towards me, I have no idea what I’d do. The day, night, and morning we spent together were great. It felt natural like before, but different because Cameron was more affectionate and open than he’s ever been. The looks he gave me weren’t just heated, they were sweet, almost…oh shit.
“You realized that I’m right, didn’t you?” Abe states.
My head moves on its own, confirming that I did indeed just realize that Abe is right and I’m an idiot.
How could I have been so stupid? So damn blind? I let the guilt I was feeling cloud my judgment. All it took was one outsider’s perspective to knock some sense into me.
“You’re still a bartender and I’m still a customer till I leave, right?”
He nods curtly as he throws a rag over his shoulder and leans towards me.
“Do you like him too?” Abe whispers.
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. It’s like there’ssomething lodged in my throat. I’m so freakin’ confused. I’ve been confused ever since Cameron walked back into my life.
He nods sympathetically. “I think it’s time you two had a real conversation then.”
Once again, Abe is right. Is it finally time to havethetalk? How do we do it without Ana? I guess I can always talk to Ana afterward. Yet I can’t shake this weird feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. There’s something missing, something’s not right. That seed of doubt hasn’t gone away.
Grabbing onto my jacket and tossing my bag over my arm, I thank Abe and walk to the exit. Before leaving, I decide to give him my own piece of advice.
“Don’t wait for her to ask you out, Abe. I see the way you two look at each other.” His face reddens in embarrassment. “Take your own advice and be brave.”
With those final words, I make my way to Astor Hall and form a concrete plan that will happen sooner rather than later.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
CAMERON
Roxy’s bright pink neon sign flickers as I make my way towards the silver doors. Will’s voice rises above all the chatter in the restaurant once I step in.
“Yo, Kahlo! Over here.”
He’s waving at me as if I’m fifty feet away from him instead of just ten. Huffing out a breath, I sit across from him.
Will claps my hand. “Hey Cam, long time no see.”
