I shrug. “I can be useful when I want to be. Although I do have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“Is this what you needed to talk to me about tonight, or was there another reason you texted me?”
Kamila’s face reddens, but not from anger, she’s blushing. This is so out of character for her.
“Are youblushing?”
She shoves my shoulder playfully. “Shut up, or I won’t tell you why I sent the text.”
“Fine, fine. Go ahead.”
Her mouth opens in an exhale. “Honestly, I needed to see what I felt when I saw you. Based on that, I was going to make the decision on whether I needed to end the break along with everything else between us or continue whatever this is.”
Hope rises within me, a rarity. “And?”
She sighs. “I really didn’t think we were going to have sex, but I guess my body gave me the answer I didn’t know I already had.” Her features soften. “Somehow, in this very moment, it feels like the old us…minus the sex.”
The optimism inside of me grows. “I thought you were going to break things off, and like I said earlier, I came with the intention of ending this, but whenever I think I’m done, you somehow reel me back in.” I play with a strand of her hair that’s mostly dry now. “And I agree. It does feel like the old us.”
When a genuine smile flashes my way, my mind goes into overdrive. I don’t want this feeling of comfortability to end, but I can tell she still isn’t fully convinced. She had a fight with Ana, and maybe that’s why she doesn’t feel guilty about the sex tonight. Kamila will forgive her sister soon and what happens then? I don’t need to wait for the answer because it hits me. The simplest solution, the only one we haven’t tried because we’ve been too stubborn to. My dick silently weeps and the little devil is nowhere in sight, knowing it has no place here. It’s going to be much easier said than done, but I have to try.
Chapter Thirty-Four
KAMILA
It’s been two days since Cameron told me he wanted to be friends.Justfriends.
“What do you mean just friends?” Cam’s words feel like cold water being poured over me. “You were inside of me less than twenty minutes ago. I still have your come all up in there.”
“We did this whole thing backward. If we wouldn’t have been so stubborn and left the past in the past, then we could’ve tried being friends. It’s not that I never want to have sex with you again, but I feel like right now, we need each other as friends over anything else. Let’s get to know each other again.” He frowns. “I don’t know why tonight was different. Maybe it was the short break we had that let us think things through, but I miss you, Kami. For fucks sake, you were my best friend, that type of feeling doesn’t just go away.”
Him admitting that he missed me as a friend was what really did it. Of course, there was some back and forth afterward. Still, it feels weird going into this without having a conversation about graduation night. Then again, I’d never have it without Ana present, and Cameron knows that. I’m confident that he isn’t ready to face the consequences of his actions yet, AKA, my sister. Even though I am convinced he’s changing and becomingthe person I always thought he was before that night, which is a relief.
In the end I knew what he was proposing, although a dangerous game to play, is safer than the one we were never going to win. Now, we have a chance of trying to mend things, however that may look. We promised to take it one day and one conversation at a time.
The rest of the night was full of getting dressed, keeping our distance, making all kinds of jokes, laughing, and playing board games. I even brought out the case of snacks I keep hidden from Emma. It was a peace offering of my own. It was fun and different than how it is with other friends. I chalk it up to our history and new dynamic.
Walking into the class we share with my nose feeling frostbitten, I start peeling my extra layers off. It’s the coldest day of the year so far and I’m practically waddling like a penguin with the amount of clothes I have on. I love the holidays, but upstate winters are the worst, and we’re not even in the coldest part of the state.
Once I’m seated, I don’t take my hat or scarf off, still shivering from the wind coming through the doors. Notebook in hand, I take my pen and doodle mindlessly only focusing on the sounds of students around me.
The fight with Ana comes to mind. I took Cameron’s advice and haven’t texted her. I’ve wanted to, but I know I can’t give her that power over me, or she’ll continue to use it to her advantage. I’m always the one to try and fix things first, the one to compromise or apologize first, and I don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m confident when it comes to a lot of things and stubborn as hell, but Ana has always been my weakness.
My train of thought is interrupted as soon as Cameron sits down in his chair next to me.
“Achoo!” Cam covers his sneeze with a tissue.
“Bless you,” I say, startled by how loud it was.
“Thanks.”
His voice sounds nasally and tired. I observe him while he takes his jacket off. His eyes are droopy, nose is red and stuffy, lips are a little chapped, skin is slightly flushed, and his hair is all messed up. Like he just got out of bed, changed, and walked straight over here.
Once he’s seated, I stick my hand out to press it against his forehead.
“Get your hand off of me, I’m contagious.” He flicks me away.
