“The Second Trial,” she told me, turning away to stuff her things into her bag. “Apparently a few stragglers from the First waited this long to attempt the Second. We weren’t expecting it. Typically, by now, your kind have already tried and failed at the annual Trial attempts and the arenas are empty. I suppose you and your partner inspired moreVerdunnto compete this year.”
“Inspired moreGeistto watch as well,” Roman muttered grumpily under his breath.
“Shit,” I cursed, leaping to my feet.
“Exactly,”Kseniasaid with a nod, tossing me my bag. “Pack quickly. We’ll have to make a far more subtle exit than we intended.”
I nodded, already gathering my things and stuffing them into the canvas sack I'd been given.
We were ready to leave within minutes.Ksenialed Phantom out of the cave by foot, tiptoeing ahead into the sunlight before us. She glanced left, toward the arenas, and paused. Roman, Phantom, and I waited just inside the cave opening for her signal. It came a moment later when she raised a hand and beckoned us forward with two fingers. Slowly, quietly, we made our way out of the cave and into the steaming desert beyond. It was still morning, the sun having barely risen in the sky, and yet my shirt was already clinging to my skin with sweat.
“Keep moving and stay quiet,” Roman hissed beside me as if he feared I might run screaming toward theGeist, waving my arms and begging for rescue, at any moment.
In fact, I considered it. TheGeist were no friends of mine and they definitely had ulterior motives, but what had they really done to me? They'd housed me, fed me, trained me and lied to me and my ancestors for centuries. Could I forgive that? If my other option was a pair of humans who intended to hold me captive long enough to dangle me in front of my former partner, whom I'd betrayed spectacularly, as bait? I muttered a curse as Roman gripped my arm and pulled me toward where we'd tied the horses the night before.
We were mounted a few moments later and trotted off through the sand, around the rock face which encompassed the cave we'd slept in, and out of view of the arenas and theGeistwithin them. Just before we rounded the corner that would take us out of view, though, I chanced a look back.
Roman was right. The stands of the arena were packed by happy, smilingGeistwho laughed and jeered jovially as the center of the arena remained plunged in darkness. My heart skipped a beat. I remembered that darkness. I remembered the feeling of my closest friends and family calling out to me through the eerie silence, claiming they were disappointed in me, that I hadn’t lived up to their high expectations, that they'd never really loved me. I closed my eyes and turned back in the saddle.
Having every internal fear realized and turned back upon you in the Second Trial was one of the most difficult things I'd ever done. It had broken my heart and shattered my fragile mentality more than I'd ever admitted to anyone, even myself. And they werelaughingat it. They were watching other inhabitants of my home, otherVerdunn, suffer through that same trauma and they were smiling. They were chatting and buying luxuriousfoods and sweets and shouting out to one another as if what was happening below them wasn't horrifying at all.
It turned my stomach. So much so that all I could do was turn away and whisper a prayer for those stuck inside the Second Trial. I realized after the completion of said prayer, however, that I hadn’t the faintest idea who I was prayingto.
They're not gods. Not any worth worshiping, at least.
I suppressed a shudder and spurred my horse onward, quickening my pace to keep up with Roman who'd sped ahead on his own steed. We were all eager to be away from this place. So eager, apparently, we didn't stop until midday andKseniaand Phantom didn't take to the skies until soon before that having not wanted to draw any attention from theGeist.
“We aren’t going nearPavos,” Roman spoke so suddenly I nearly leapt from my saddle in surprise.
We'd stopped only briefly for a lunch of whatever stale bread we had left and a few strips of jerky and were on our way again, staring out at the endless sands as our horses plodded slowly along andKseniaand Phantom soared through the sky above us.
“Pardon?” I asked after a moment, blinking at my disgruntled companion.
“We’re going around it,” he informed me. “So you won’t have to see it again. We won’t get close enough for that.”
I stared at him for a moment, considering what he'd said, and realized why he'd said it.
“Was it that obvious then?” I asked, clearing my throat and turning away, mortified.
“It’s natural for you to be affected by the sight of the arenas. In truth, I would have lost all hope for you if you hadn’t been.”
I nodded but kept my gaze on the desert stretching out before us. For a time, neither of us spoke. We just sat atop our horses,jostled side to side through the endless expanse of sand and stone, but then I broke the silence.
“It was mental, the Second Trial,” I said, unsure quite why I was. Maybe it was because I'd never spoken of it to anyone else even now that I could, no longer bound by the Oath as a Victor. Maybe I was still trying to gain this surly captain’s trust. Maybe I just wanted him to know. It didn’t matter. Not really. “It was completely dark. So dark you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. I knew Adrian was there but I couldn’t see her, couldn’t find her. I tried to look. The First Trial was about finding each other. I thought that might be what the Second one was as well.”
I hesitated but Roman didn't interject. He just looked my way, waiting for me to continue.
“Then the voices started,” I told him. “At first, I thought they were really there. I heard Olympia first. She was my…friend back in Sanctuary. I thought they'd found a way to bring her into the Trial. She was calling to me, telling me to join her. I started to, I almost did, but then she turned mean, started saying I’d abandoned her, that we’d never really been friends, that she just hung around me because she was supposed to. Then I heard my father. Or a man who claimed to be my father. I wouldn’t know. I never actually met him myself. He was saying how glad he was he didn’t live to see what a failure I’d become, how he was happy he’d died in the Fifth Trial so he didn’t have to bear the shame of being my father.”
“Shit,” Roman muttered.
“Then came my favorite cousin,Bria. She told me the gods would punish me for my lack of faith. Then my mother who said I wasn’t good enough to defeat all ten Trials, that I never would be no matter how hard I trained. Then my grandfather who said…pretty much everything he'd said to me my whole life only louder and more hateful.”
Roman was shaking his head now, looking up atKseniawho flew steadily onward, leading us through the desert.
“Adrian was the one who figured out they weren’t real,” I said. “On some level, I knew they weren’t. But theyfeltreal and that’s really all that matters. I would have followed them straight into madness, I know I would have, if she hadn’t discovered how to tell it wasn’t real. I owe her for that. I owe her for a great many things. I wronged her in so many ways, even more than she knows. And all she ever did was help me,loveme. I—”
My voice cracked and I hung my head, ashamed, hiding the tears threatening to fall and steam against my cheeks in the hot desert sun.
