"You're no different from them, you know," I spat, eyes narrowed to a vicious glare now. "You never gave me a choice, just like them. You said they were after us and we had to go toyourhome. You say I have to call the dark becauseyouneed me to. But what about whatIneed? What aboutmyhome?"
Gryfon just stared at me, face as impassive as ever, not even a muscle twitching in any sign he'd heard me or cared about what I had to say.
“Answer me, damn it!" I shouted, storming toward him in the confines of the cave. "Say something! Do you have nothing to say for yourself at all?"
He raised his chin slightly, only to hold my gaze as I approached, but still, didn't say a word.
I hit him.
My fist connected with his shoulder and he didn't even flinch, didn't so much as slide further down the wall or lean away from the impact. He just let me hit him. And something about that made me angrier. So I hit him again.
Again and again, I punched him in the shoulder, the arms, the chest. He just took it. He just sat there, frowning, until my fists turned into open-handed palms slapping against his chest. Then my hands were pressed against him, nails digging into the fabricof his shirt, as my forehead collided with his collarbone and I lost myself in sobs.
"I can't protect them," I whispered against the cotton. "I don't even know what I'm protecting themfrom."
He still didn't speak, but the muscles in his abdomen relaxed, the tension in his shoulders loosened. I could feel it all where I stood, pressed against him.
“My friends are the most important thing in the world to me,” I said then, my voice quiet and cracking in the silence of the cave. “They're all I have left. But I can’t protect them. Not from the gods, not from men, and not from whatever we might be walking into." I braced myself for the confession that came next. "And the…darkness inside me, I can’t use it. I—I don’t know how. I’ve only done it twice and neither time was on purpose and the last time I almost…I lost myself. I drifted, somewhere, and I didn’t know how to get back. Until…”
I trailed off, pulling back enough to look up and find his eyes on me. Sapphire in the darkness.
“You called to me,” I said, holding his gaze even as my breath hitched, “didn’t you?”
His jaw ticked but he gave a slow nod.
“How?” I breathed.
He watched me for a moment longer and then reached up slowly with both hands. He gripped my wrists where they rested against his chest and lowered them.
Taking in a shuddered breath, I moved to step back, realizing how close we were, but he held me there. Gripping my wrists and gazing into my eyes, he spoke again.
"Do you feel better now?" he asked.
His voice was gruffer than before but still the same low drawl and somehow gentler as well. Despite my rage, despite my sorrow and despair and crushing anguish at the thought of never seeing my family again, of never being able to truly protectanyone close to me, that voice felt like a caress against my soul, a featherlight touch on my cheeks wet with tears. Even though he wasn't touching me, wasn't doing anything but staring at me with that same cool expression.
"No," I whispered, breath hitching once more as my body trembled with spent rage.
"You will," he replied.
I nodded even though I didn't believe him, even though it felt like something inside me had broken and I wasn't sure it could ever be mended, even though we both knew I would never give up on trying to get back to my family, trying to save my friends.
“This world isn’t what you think it is,” he told me, firm, commanding tone returning to a low drawl. “You know nothing about your magic and what you can do, about what it means and where it came from. But you're right about one thing. When people know what you’re capable of, they'll try to use you for it. The gods, the Fallen, men, everyone will try to bend you to their will. If you truly want to choose your own path, you have to see them for what they are, for the manipulations they attempt.”
“So tell me,” I breathed, meaning for the demand to come out firmer but too emotionally exhausted to muster the fury again. “Everyone keeps telling me I don’t understand, that there are things I don’t know, but no one will tell me what theyare.”
“Because once you know, you'll have to choose,” he replied, his tone laced with the authority of a man in charge. “And you aren’t ready to make that choice.”
“Who are you to decide what I’m ready for? You don’t even know me.”
His jaw tensed. Somehow, more than anything I'd already said to him, more than anything I'd accused him of in this cave, that shattered his composure.
“You’re explosive, impulsive, and dangerous,” he growled. “You lack control. You aren’t strong enough to handle the powerwithin you. But you could be. If you could pull your head out of your ass long enough to try.”
My jaw dropped and I gaped at him in open surprise as he finally released my wrists, prowling closer to me with the lethal grace of a trained predator. He crowded me, lips only inches from mine as his gaze dipped once more.
“I’ll train your friends,” he said, voice a low, deep drawl. “I’ll teach them how to use sword and dagger as well as the most proficient of my warriors. I’ll teach them the bow, how to make their own arrows, how to survive an enemy attack. But you’ll train with me too. And not with steel.”
I shook my head.
