Every muscle groaned in protest as I made my way to the door, preparing to send whoever was on the other side away. I already had an excuse prepared for Tiberius orMosiif they came to see me returned to my duties and a rude gesture forRoibenif it should be him at my door. I wasn't prepared, however, for Roxy’s bouncing curls as she pushed past me into my apartment the moment I answered the door.
“I know you’re still doing it,” she said in a rush as I closed the door behind her and turned back. “I know you won’t stop.”
I crossed my arms and prepared for yet another fight.
“I’m not going to claim I understand,” Roxy spoke before I could, raising her hands as if in surrender. “Kane and I were born here. We were raised in the Underground with our parents. We’ve known our fate since the moment we were old enough to hold a tool. We still have our family. But Hugh was Culled and so was Darius and I know they miss their families.Geist, Darius talked about you all the time before you showed up on our doorstep. I know how hard it is to accept you’ll never see those people again. So I wouldn’t dare ask you to. Because somehow, even though I hardly know you, I can tell that if anyone can do it, it’s you. If anyone can get back to Sanctuary, it’s you. And if you did, then maybe Darius could see his parents again, his sister, your friends. And maybe Hugh will stop moping around so much too. So I just came to say I know what you’re doing. Don’t stop.”
I raised a brow, surprised.
“You’re supporting me?” I asked.
“As long as you don’t tell Darius,” she replied with a grin.
I snorted.
“I highly doubt that will be a problem,” I told her. “Seeing as he refuses to speak to me.”
“He needs time,” she admitted, smile faltering. “Darius is…well, you know how he is. Once he makes his mind up about something, you aren’t going to change it. And he’s decided heaccepts this life, this place. It’s less painful for him that way. It’s the hope that would end him, Adrian. Knowing there’s a possibility, no matter how slim, that he could see his family again. Having that taken away. Again. I don’t know if he would survive that. He isn’t pushing you away out of anger, Adrian. He’s doing it out of fear.”
I frowned. I could understand that. Before I'd discovered phasing, I'd begun to fear what I might do if I found out I would truly never see my family again, that I would have to spend an eternity in these dark caverns. Maybe you got used to it, like Darius. Maybe you learned to find a purpose here, like Tiberius. Maybe you could love it and call it home, like Kane and Roxy. But I wasn’t sure I could live a thousand years down here, watching everyone die again and again, knowing all the while my family had perished long ago never knowing I was alive just beneath the surface. I couldn’t do it. I would fight theGeistthemselves if only to give them that peace of mind.
“I’ve found a way,” I blurted.
Roxy’s eyes widened at the admission, her lips parting to form a perfect O as she stared at me in shock.
“Sort of," I quickly clarified. "There’s a barrier of some sort surrounding the opening of the tunnels in Sanctuary. I can’t see it but I can feel that it’s there and anytime it makes contact with something that isn’t supposed to be there, it zaps it away back to wherever it came from. That includes me. When I tried to cross into Sanctuary the first time, it sent me back to the mouth of the tunnel I'd journeyed from. But when I use this,” I focused on phasing only my hand and forearm out of existence and watched as Roxy’s eyes grew even wider, “it doesn’t recognize me. It’s like I’m not even there. The barrier doesn’t see me. No one does. So I can walk around Sanctuary for as long as I can stay like this. But the moment I blink back into existence,” I let my arm solidify again, “it yanks me right back underground.”
She stared at my arm for a moment, blinking.
“So you’ve gone back,” she said in wonder, her voice barely more than a whisper. “You’ve seen them?”
“I can’t hold the intangibility for long. It takes a lot of concentration and it strains my capabilities to hold it. But I made it to the Third Ring last time. Just barely, not enough to see anyone we knew, but it’s the farthest I’ve made it so far. I think, if I keep practicing, eventually I can hold it long enough to walk around freely up there. Only…”
“They can’t see you,” she spoke slowly, realizing. “Oh, Adrian, I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged, turning away to hide how deeply it affected me.
“At least I can see them again,” I replied. “I can check in on them, make sure they’re alright. And maybe someday I can figure out a way to get a message to them. I—it’s better than nothing. For now.”
Roxy nodded but I saw the pity in her gaze.
“I won’t tell him yet,” Roxy promised, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “But if you can find a way, Adrian, if he can see his family again…”
“I’ll tell you both,” I vowed. “I swear.”
She nodded, grim smile on her lips as she headed back for the door.
“I’m late for my shift,” she told me. “But I’m around, Adrian. If you need to talk, if you need someone to bounce ideas off of, I’m here.”
I nodded, more grateful than she knew for the offer, and then watched as she opened the door and disappeared into the hall.
I returned to the couch without delay, already phasing in and out as I settled onto the cushions and closed my eyes. I practiced with the intangibility for hours, losing track of time as I tested my limits, holding onto the magic for as long as I could before letting it go with a frustrated exhale. I dug deep, reaching intothe wells of power inside me I’d only just begun to know existed, and was so preoccupied with my phasing I almost didn’t hear the commotion downstairs.
Footsteps passing by my door snagged my attention and brought me back to the tangible world. Now aware of the voices emanating from the center of the first floor just outside of my apartment building, I stood and walked to the window, looking down to find a mass of people assembling in the open space between the administrative buildings and the residences. I heard the opening and shutting of doors in my hall as well and knew my neighbors were leaving their homes to attend whatever was going on below.
Curious, I slipped out of my apartment and made my way down the steps with them, looking back and forth for any indication of what might be happening.
Most of the people below were smiling, greeting one another and chatting merrily, but a few were more reserved. They stood among the crowd, as still as stone, with their arms crossed and eyes fixed into a firm glare at a point ahead of them. I followed their gazes to find some large ceremonial arch the priests had dragged out into the square from one of their back alley shrines. The white-robed men milled around beneath it now, chattering excitedly with one another. I turned away from them, looking through the crowd for anyone familiar enough to ask about what was occurring. Though I knew that if it was something the priests were this excited about, it was likely something that wouldn’t be pleasant.
