“I just want to talk, Maddie. When are you going to stop being so damn dramatic about this? I told you she meant nothing to me. Why are you being so fucking stubborn?”
I don’t even know where to begin with what he’s just said, so I don’t say anything. I dig my keys out and unlock my door, ignoring his large presence beside me. I used to love how much bigger he was than me, but now I see it as more of a threat. He’s never been physically violent with me, but I can tell he’s getting irritated, and every meeting feels a little more tense than the one before.
“I need to get to work,” I tell him. “I don’t have time for this, Derek. I’ve told you a million times that it’s over between us. You cheated on me, and I can’t just look past that because it meant nothing to you, because it sure as fuck meant something to me. I don’t trust you, and I will never trust you again, so please just leave me alone.”
He leans closer, invading my space so I can feel the heat of his breath against my cheek. The familiar scent of his cologne fills my nose, sending a string of memories flitting through my head. They don’t hurt me as much as they used to. I’ve learned to accept that what we had is finished, at least for me it is.
“That will never fucking happen. I will wait until you see reason. I don’t fucking care how long it takes.”
He smacks the top of my car hard enough to make me jump before turning and walking away. I watch his dark blond head as he walks down the sidewalk to where his black truck is waiting. He gets in and peels out, letting me see exactly how pissed he is while I lean closer and make sure he didn’t put a dent in my precious beater. I can’t afford to replace it, so I really need this baby to last a bit longer. When I’m satisfied he didn’t damage it more than it already is, I get in and push him from my mind.
Driving through downtown, I weave my rust bucket of a car through the busy traffic, only mildly annoyed that I keep hitting all the red lights. While waiting at one, I look over and check out the new women’s shelter that was recently completed. Some shitty lounge used to be there, and I never understood how in the hell it stayed in business, but a nasty fire had burnt it to the ground about a year ago, and almost overnight this huge shelter had been built for abused women and children. The cheery coat of yellow paint and hanging flower baskets make it look welcoming instead of the dreary shithole that most of them look like. It’s like everything about it is designed to actually give the women hope. Before the light turns green, I see a woman walk out, holding a squirmy toddler in her arms followed by one of the largest men I’ve ever seen. Definitely over six feet tall and covered in tattoos. He’s the kind of guy you’d run like hell from in a dark alley, but now he’s making funny faces at the little boy and looking at the woman like she’s his whole world.
Must be nice. I ignore the pang of jealousy and tell myself that one day I’ll find the right guy. Maybe he’ll be super buff and tatted up, too. The laugh that fills my car is harsh, making me worry that I’ve already become jaded about love. After what happened with Derek, it wouldn’t surprise me if I am. I still can’t believe that fucker cheated on me.
“Asshole,” I mutter, gripping my steering wheel so tightly my knuckles ache. Focusing on the drive, I turn up the audiobook I’ve been listening to, choosing to ignore reality and lose myself in the spicy romance instead. Because my car is so old, the only way I can listen is by turning the audio up on my phone, but it’s better than nothing. I’m just getting to a good part when I pull up to the large mansion at the end of a cul-de-sac. With a heavy sigh, I stop the book and gather my stuff. The house is ridiculously huge, and it’s shared by Kaylee and her brother, Scott, and whatever assortment of friends that decide to crash there at any given time. Their parents died last year in a car wreck, and everything was left to their two spoiled children. It’s my responsibility to keep the monstrosity clean, do all the laundry, and cook their meals. Because the job is such a big one, they gave me one of the bedrooms in the basement that I can live in rent free. It’s not a terrible job. There’s certainly worse out there. The pay is pretty good, and because of Scott’s involvement with drugs, an involvement that I willingly turn a blind eye to, it means that I get paid under the table. All that cash goes straight into my mom’s hand to pay for her treatments. She hates it, but I refuse to take no for an answer.
“It’s about time,” Kaylee barks at me as soon as I walk into the gaudy, marble-floored foyer with the giant painting that Kaylee made when she was going through herI’m an artistphase. It’s supposed to be a vase of wilted flowers, but somehow she managed to make the sunflowers look like big, hairy testicles that are drooping over the sides of the vase. I want to laugh every time I see it.
I turn to face her, noticing the pout she’s giving me, the same one she’d used on all the guys in school to get whatever the hell she wanted. “Sorry, I tried to hurry.”
“You know how important tonight is for me. Did you pick up my dress?”
I hold the dry-cleaning bag out to her, fighting the urge to roll my eyes at her words. A date with some rich plastic surgeon’s son, yeah, super important, especially since she’ll just be going on another one tomorrow night and the next night and the next night. She’s probably hoping to score some free breast implants out of this, though, so she might hang onto this one for a while.
She grabs the dress and runs off right as Scott walks in. Her brother eyes me, but I can tell I’m about as interesting to him as a stain on the wall. He’s a few years older than us and was already graduated by the time we got into high school. His reputation was still alive and well, though. If you wanted an illegal substance to either keep you awake during finals or let you relax on the weekends, Scott was your man. His long hair is tied back in a ponytail, and I’m guessing it’s been several days since it’s seen water or shampoo. Even after a shower, Scott always looks a bit skeezy. He gives the impression that if you ran your finger over him, you’d be left with a residue, like wiping your finger over the oven after you’ve cooked bacon.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” he asks, walking by close enough for me to get a whiff of his unwashed body.
“Nothing,” I murmur, already turning to go to my room before I start cleaning.
“I need your ass to clean my bathroom.” His voice drifts down as he slowly climbs the stairs. “The bitch I brought home last night couldn’t hold her alcohol. It’s a fucking mess.”
I bite back the heavy groan I want to give and instead think about that chemo port that’s going to make my mom’s life so much easier. I can stomach a bit of vomit for her, at least I hope it’s just vomit.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” I say before heading down to my room. Changing into some old jeans with holes in the knees and a T-shirt that’s so faded there’s not even a hint of the original pink it once was, I grab my cleaning caddy and phone, stuffing the earbuds in as I make my way to Scott’s room. Giving his door a knock so I don’t accidentally walk in on something that’s guaranteed to give me nightmares, I wait until he hollers for me to come in. He’s in the corner staring at his computer screen, and I hope like hell he’s not watching porn. At least his screen is facing away from me so I don’t have to watch whatever the hell he’s scrutinizing so closely. When I step into his bathroom, I immediately dry heave and step back out. He laughs at my reaction.
“Told you it was bad.”
I want to ask how in the hell he tolerated this all fucking day and why the hell he couldn’t get off his lazy ass and just pick it up himself, but I don’t. I keep my mouth shut and grab a mask from my caddy and put it on before turning my audiobook up and getting to work. I swear this girl threw up everywhere but in the damn toilet. An hour later, the bathroom is spotless and I’m seriously rethinking my life choices. It’s not like I haven’t applied for better jobs, but every place wants work experience and great references. I can’t get hired for some nice desk job with benefits without ever having had a damn desk job with benefits. It’s an endless loop that I get so fucking tired of.
Resigning myself to my fate, I grab the dirty clothes that are strewn about and leave his room so I can hit the rest of the bathrooms on this floor. At some point I hear the front door open and the loud voices of Scott’s friends as they come in to destroy all the hard work I’ve just done. Washing up, I switch to preparing supper and am just putting the casserole in the oven when Kaylee walks in, looking stunning in the black dress I’d picked up for her earlier. She’s about my height and has long dark hair, but that’s where the similarities end. Her eyes are a hazel while mine are grey, and she has a body that makes men line up to talk to her, even without the big fake breasts she’s hoping to score.
“Oh my god, what part of low carb do you not understand?”
I shut the oven door, hiding the Ritz cracker chicken casserole from her judgmental eyes. “Sorry. I just figured that since you were going out tonight, you wouldn’t mind. I was planning on salmon and steamed broccoli with the mashed cauliflower you like so much for tomorrow night.”
The meal plan seems to appease her. She gives a slight huff before grabbing a bag of baby carrots from the fridge to munch on while she waits. Her eyes run over me. “You know, if you stayed away from carbs, you could drop the weight you’ve put on.”
What the hell?I know I’ve put on a couple of pounds, but it’s not like I’m spilling out of my goddamn clothes or anything. With Kaylee, if you can’t see ribs poking out, then you’re eating too much. I refuse to give in to that bullshit way of thinking. I like food. Whatever. I also enjoy exercising and working up a good sweat, so in my mind, it all evens out.
“Hey, Kaylee, looking good,” Sebastian calls out, walking further into the kitchen and eye-fucking the hell out of her in her tiny black dress. The rest of Scott’s friends pile in, and Kaylee basks in their admiration. God, some things never change. Flashbacks from prom flit through my mind of her being crowned queen while everyone fawned over her and I stood in the corner in an ill-fitting dress feeling like the world’s biggest dork. I don’t trust anyone who says high school was the greatest years of their life. I’m convinced that if it wasn’t traumatic, then you were doing something wrong.
Sebastian’s dark eyes run over me, and when he walks by, he lets his finger drag along my lower back. “How’s it going, Maddie?”
“It’s fine,” I say, stepping back and out of his reach. Sebastian’s a good-looking guy, but he’s also an ass who will fuck anything with a vagina and then tell his friends all the details of how good or bad it was. I do my best to avoid him as much as possible.
He gives me a wink and grabs one of the clean glasses, running his tongue up the side while he keeps his eyes locked on mine. “Better clean that,” he taunts, setting the glass down on the counter and walking away with a laugh.
