Idon’t know how I got the nerve to ask if we could kiss again, but I’m glad I did. Maybe it’s the giant cock pressing against my hand or the muscled, tattooed body in front of me, or maybe it’s those piercing blue eyes that never miss a damn thing. Whatever it is, it makes me bold enough to lift up and hover my face over his and ask for what I want.
He smiles and cups the back of my head, pulling me close enough to feel the heat of his breath against my lips. “If you want it, take it,zolotse,” he says, giving me complete control.
My heart races as I close the distance and run my tongue over Vasily’s full bottom lip. None of the men at Ruby’s kissed me. It was almost like it was too personal for them. They didn’t even look at me like I was a human being. Sharing this with Vasily is special, like it’s our own thing where no other memories invade, at least not for me. I don’t even want to know how many women he’s kissed or fucked. The very idea of it pisses me off and has me giving his bottom lip a not-so-gentle bite before I can stop myself.
“I’m sorry,” I say, pulling back while humiliation washes over me.
He gives a soft laugh and I feel his cock grow even bigger, a thing I hadn’t even thought possible. “You could never be too rough for me, sweetheart. What were you thinking about? You looked very angry before you bit me.”
“It’s stupid.”
When he lifts a dark brow at me, waiting for me to elaborate, I say, “I was thinking that I love kissing you because none of the men at Ruby’s kissed me, so it feels like our own private thing, but then I started thinking about all the women you’ve been with, and I didn’t like it.” I tell myself to shut up, but I can’t seem to stop babbling. “I know I have no right to be jealous of your past. I mean, I didn’t even know you, but I can’t help it. I don’t like thinking about you with anyone else. I was so upset when I saw that redhead in the kitchen for so many different reasons, and I feel like no matter what I do, I’m always going to fall short in comparison to your past.”
He’s quiet for a second, but then he rolls me over so I’m on my back and he’s on his side looking down at me. “That’s a lot to worry about.” His fingers run down my cheek, making goosebumps form and my nipples harden. It’s painfully obvious because I’m in my pajamas and not wearing a bra, but I don’t pull the covers up. I’m trying to not hide myself from him.
“You know I have a past, but you’ve actually done more than me in some ways.”
I laugh because there’s no way in hell that’s possible.
“I’m being serious,” he continues. “You’ve had boyfriends. I’m guessing you went out on dates, cuddled on the couch, laughed and hung out together, had inside jokes and things like that. Am I right?”
“Yeah,” I admit, “but everyone’s done that kind of stuff.”
He gives me a shy grin that I never thought I’d see on his confident face. “I haven’t.”
“Seriously?”
“My Bratva always came first, and I was never looking for any kind of commitment with any of these women. I didn’t want anything beyond relieving some sexual frustration. It meant nothing to me.Theymeant nothing to me.” He studies my reaction. “I hope that doesn’t upset you. I’m not trying to be callous. I was always very up front about it with them. They all knew it was a one-night thing.”
“So the guy who’s never had a girlfriend marries a woman less than an hour after meeting her?”
He laughs. “Yeah, I did.” Cupping my face, he kisses me again. “It’s turning out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.”
I smile at everything he’s just said. He makes me feel special. Despite everything I’ve been through and the things that have been done to me, he makes me feel cherished and cared for. I’ve never had a man look at me the way he does, like I’m his whole damn world. When I cup his face and run my fingers through his hair, he groans and deepens the kiss. His tongue parts my lips, sliding in and pulling a moan from deep within me. The kiss is hungry, but he’s still careful with my healing lip, making sure to not press too hard.
My body sparks to life in ways I’d feared were long dead. I thought the men at Ruby’s had killed this part of me, but every swipe of Vasily’s tongue reminds me that I’m not broken. I want him. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anybody, but the thought of his large cock spreading me wide sends fear racing through me, forcing me to push him away.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t. I’m so sorry,” I say in a breathy rush.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he whispers, cupping my face and keeping his eyes on mine so I can see that he means it.
“I’m scared. I want to, but I’m scared.”
“Of?”
“You’re so big, and it’s going to hurt. None of the men at Ruby’s were as big as you, and it hurt so bad.”
His eyes soften as he whispers something in Russian and kisses my forehead. “When you’re ready, I’ll be so gentle with you. It will be different when you want it,zolotse. It won’t hurt like it did with them because your body will welcome me. You’ll open up for me, sweetheart, I promise.”
I want so desperately to believe him, but all I can think about is the pain the others caused me.
“Have you ever masturbated?”
I didn’t think I could get any more embarrassed, but his question has me squirming as my face heats up again. I groan and hide my face behind my hands. “Yes, of course I have.”
He gently moves my hands. “Please don’t hide from me, baby. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Has anyone else ever made you come?”
“No.”
