He groans and fists my hair, tilting my head back so he can kiss me even harder. With his body pressed against mine, I can feel how badly he wants this.
“Why are you saying no?” I ask as soon as he pulls back enough for me to speak. Dragging my hand down the front of his body, I stop when I come to the very impressive bulge in his pants. Palming him, I squeeze, taking a lot of delight in the way his eyes become hooded and the string of Russian that slips from his full, kissable lips.
“I need to talk to Vasya,” he says, and then lets out another groan when I start to massage him. “You deserve better than me sneaking in here for a quick fuck. I won’t do that to you. I’m doing this the right way, goddammit.”
“So, it’d be quick, huh?”
I laugh at the look he gives me, but it quickly turns to a yelp when he grabs me, lifting me off my feet before setting my ass on the small island that separates the kitchen from the living room. Spreading my thighs with his body, he scoots in closer and cups my face.
“I promised my boss I wouldn’t fuck you.” When I try to pull away, he holds me tight and kisses my jaw. “I only agreed because I knew he was thinking that I would hurt you and you’d end up quitting. He doesn’t know the truth, but he will soon enough.”
“What truth is that?” I ask while he slowly kisses a line to my mouth. With both hands cupping my face now, he tilts me up and meets my eyes.
“That I’ve fallen in love with you and that I’m not letting you go.”
“Ilya,” I start to say, but he cuts me off.
“I will tell Vasya, but he needs to see the truth of my words. I know him well enough to know that. Nikolai will vouch for me, but Vasya’s known me a very long time, and I was a certain kind of man for the entirety of that time. A complete one-eighty is hard for anyone to believe, especially without actions to back it up. Trust me, he’s going to notice I haven’t been clubbing.”
Imagining him as the man he used to be still hurts. I have no right to be angry about things he did before he met me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get pissed when I think about all the women he’s been with. My past is sad in comparison to his. I’ve only been with one man, my ex-fiancé, the asshole who made me doubt everything about myself, and Ilya’s been with more women than he probably remembers. I can’t help but think I must fall short in comparison to all of them.
“What if you change your mind?” I ask, unable to ignore the constant worry that eats away at the back of my mind.
“Impossible.” He kisses me again. It’s a soft, slow kiss, but there’s no less passion in it. The coarse, dark stubble on his face always drives me crazy. He’s the kind of guy who’s always going to have a five o’clock shadow, one of the many things that I love about him.
When he presses in and I start to lean back, he cups the back of my head, protecting it from bumping against the hard island beneath me.
“Ilya,” I whisper when he kisses and sucks a line down my neck while his other hand goes to the waistband of my pants.
He lifts his head, looking down at me with a wicked smile, ruffled hair, and a pair of hungry, dark eyes. “I never promised anyone I wouldn’t use my mouth on you.”
I tense at his words, and his face turns from hungry to concerned.
“You don’t want me to?” he asks. “Am I rushing things too fast?”
He sounds so worried that I can’t help but shake my head and say, “No, it’s not that.” When I feel my cheeks heat up, I groan and clap my hands over my face, unable to say this while he’s looking so damn perfect and hot. “No one’s ever done that before,” I admit behind the cover of my palms. “My fiancé said he thought it was gross.”
“What a fucking idiot,” Ilya mutters before gently grabbing my hands and pulling them free so he can see me. “You have no idea how badly I want to taste you.” His lips hover over mine before I feel the soft swipe of his tongue against my bottom lip. “I want to use my tongue and slide into you, and I want to suck and lick and kiss every inch of your pussy.”
I suck in a quick breath as he dips his tongue between my lips, making it impossible for me not to imagine him doing that between my legs.
“Will you let me?” he asks, sounding every bit like a man who’s begging for permission to do something he really, really wants to do. “Will you let me make you come with my mouth?”
“Yes,” I whisper, wanting everything he’s offering.
As soon as I’ve said it, he kisses me, running his tongue over mine while his skilled fingers pop the button of my jeans and start pulling down the zipper. Never taking his mouth off mine, he tugs my pants down while I lift my ass to help him out. Strong hands run up my bare thighs before his fingers hook under my panties and start to pull them free. When I’m naked from the waist down, he pulls back so he can look at me.
“Jesus,” he groans while I resist the urge to try and cover myself. “You’re so fucking wet, sweetheart.”
His fingers dig into my thighs, spreading me even wider, and when I let out an embarrassed groan, he raises his eyes to meet mine.
“You’re beautiful, Lily, so fucking beautiful.” His dark eyes drift back down between my legs, and I gasp when I feel him slowly drag his finger up my slit. “I don’t deserve you, but I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you didn’t make a mistake by choosing me.”
A needy moan escapes my lips when he very slowly slides a finger into me. My body instinctively grips him as my hips rock, trying to pull him in deeper while he groans and clenches his jaw in a hard line.
Dark eyes that promise so many wicked things look at me as he says, “I give you my word right here and now that your body is the only one I’ll ever touch like this. No other woman will ever have any part of me.” He slowly pumps his finger in and out of me. “This is the only pussy I’ll ever touch or taste or bury myself inside. It’s you or nothing. It has been since the moment I saw you.”
I feel my eyes grow watery at his words, because as much hunger as I see in his eyes, beneath it is a deep, enduring love that I know in my heart I can trust. He doesn’t give me a chance to respond to what he’s said. Instead of letting me confess my love, he lowers his head and lets me know exactly what I’ve been missing.
