“You’re wrong,” he insists. “That’s not why I want you so badly. If that were it, then I’d only want to fuck you, and that’s not all I want.”
I look away, wanting to believe him but also scared to death to take the leap. He must sense how hard this is for me, because he reaches up to brush back my hair, gently tucking it behind my ear before cupping my face. His thumb lightly grazes my cheek, and without thinking, I lean into his touch, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like my body craves his touch just as badly as he’s craving mine.
“Let me take you to dinner,” he says, and right on cue my stomach gives a loud growl, reminding me I haven’t eaten since last night.
“What time is it?” I look out the window, realizing it’s already dark outside. “How long was I asleep? What about Bran? What if he’s still scared?”
Ilya holds up his phone. “I texted them while you were sleeping. You’ve been out all day, by the way, and Bran is doing fine. He’s been playing, and he even let Vasya hold him for a little bit. They’ll be ready for you to start lessons again tomorrow morning like usual.”
When I hesitate, he says, “You need to eat, Lily. Please let me feed you.”
I look down, realizing I’m still in my flannel sleep pants and baggy T-shirt I’d fallen asleep in last night. I hadn’t even had a chance to get dressed this morning.
“I need to change,” I tell him, knowing it’s probably not the greatest idea but also unable to tell him no.
He gives me a full smile before patting my hip. “I’ll be here to pick you up in thirty minutes.”
His hands stay on me for several more seconds before he sighs and finally lets go so I can stand up. I try not to stare at the erection I’d just been nestled against. He’s large, very large, and he’s straining against his jeans.
For me.
My brain immediately tries to tell me that it’s notfor me. It’s just sex that he wants, and I’m the closest vagina, but there’s something about the way he’s staring at me that plants a seed of doubt, because maybe, just maybe, I’m wrong. Maybe he’s telling the truth and this is something more for him.
Before I can keep psychoanalyzing everything, he stands, readjusts himself, and then gives me another big grin.
“I’ll see you in thirty, Lily.” After he opens the door, he looks back and says, “As much as I’d love to see you in a dress, don’t wear one. Stick with pants tonight, okay?”
I nod while I watch him walk away, wondering what in the hell I’ve just gotten myself into.
Chapter 4
Ilya
Exactly thirty minutes later, I’m knocking on Lily’s door, feeling more nervous than I ever have around a woman. I don’t usually date, but I’ve gone on a few, and none of them ever made me feel like this. It felt more obligatory than anything, but now all I can think about is making this night perfect for her. I’m seriously out of my element, but I’m surprised by how badly I want to try, how badly I want this to be special for her.
When she opens the door, all I can do is stand there staring at her like I’ve forgotten how to speak, and maybe I have, because all I can do is drink in the sight of her while my brain goes pleasantly numb. She’s in a tight pair of black pants, and the green sweater she’s wearing is the exact shade of her eyes. Her brown hair falls to her shoulders in loose waves that I’d very much like to fist, and I’m not sure how long I’ve been gawking at her before she lets out a nervous laugh and starts to fidget.
Finding my voice, I say the only thing I can. “You look beautiful, Lily. Absolutely stunning.”
She blushes, smiles, and then quickly looks away. She doesn’t know how to take a compliment, but she’s going to learn fast, because I’m going to be giving her a lot of them. Stepping closer, I lean down and kiss her cheek, lingering for several seconds longer than necessary for the simple fact that I can’t bring myself to pull away. She smells amazing, and her skin is so goddamn soft, and I never want to let her go, so I find myself wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. It immediately brings to mind the very long nap she’d taken on my lap earlier, the sweetest fucking torture I’ve ever endured in my life. I’d held her for hours, unable to let her go because holding her had felt so right. It’s the same way now. I’ve never once been a cuddler. I don’t give hugs and share intimate moments with women, but it feels so natural to do it with her.
When I feel her hug me back, I smile against her cheek and kiss it again. “This feels pretty right to me.” I whisper the words against her skin, close enough for her to feel my lips move and the warmth of my breath. “Everything about you feels right to me.”
Before she can lie to us both and deny it, I take a step back and grab her hand, pulling her out the door and back towards my place. The house is way too big for just me, and it’s been feeling even bigger and lonelier since Lily moved here. When she realizes where I’m taking her, she starts to shake her head.
“No way,” she whispers, eyeing the big motorcycle parked in front. “I can’t get on that thing.”
She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met, but she’s still very wrong if she thinks that’s the only reason why I want her. It intrigues me, but it’s not the force that’s driving this. Not every woman falls over herself to get at me, even I can admit that, and it’s never once made me suddenly think I can’t live without her. My attraction to Lily is not because she didn’t immediately strip her clothes and part her legs for me. It’s because something inside her calls to something inside me. It’s as complicated and simple as that.
She feels like home, like the person I’ve been waiting for without even realizing I’d been waiting. A smile spreads across my face that I’m unable to stop.
Seeing it, she asks, “What are you smiling about?”
There’s no bother denying the truth, so I say, “I think I just became a one-woman man.”
Her pretty eyes widen before they narrow in suspicion. “Just like that, huh?”
“Just like that,” I say and then hand her a helmet. “I promise you’ll be safe. I would never put you in danger.”
