Tears came to her eyes, her chest tightening at the revelation. She couldn’t name the feeling it inspired but she liked it. It feltgood. If it were true and if his seed quickened inside her they would be... bonded. Together in a way she had not known with any other human. This idea warmed her, as did his arm around her back. She wished they could stay like that forever.
Thanred let her lie there for some time. She nearly fell asleep. His finger touching her softly on the cheek stirred her awake. “What is it?” she asked.
“We should move.”
She looked up toward the sky to see that, by the sun, it was nearly midmorning. “Where will we go?” she asked, feeling lazy and not wanting to get up.
Thanred lifted himself up and shook his head. “Deeper into the forest. Maybe toward the mountain. Somewhere...far away from your kind and mine.”
This caused her stomach to sink. Her feelings for Thanred were growing deeper daily. She wanted nothing more than to be by his side. But how long did he mean to run?
As he began to stand, she grabbed his hand. “Thanred?” she asked.
His expression softened at hearing her say his name. “What is it?”
Royla paused, wondering whether her question would upset him. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized she could not go on without an answer. “Are we to be alone then?” she asked softly. “Forever?”
Thanred’s expression darkened. His brow furrowed as he turned to look away from her. A long silence stretched between them before he spoke. “I am not enough for you then?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
The knot inside her stomach eased. She tilted her head and reached out to him. It was the first time she’d seen him this way. Not weak. But... vulnerable. She rose up onto her knees and put her hands on his cheeks, turning his head to make him look at her.
When their eyes met, his worried look faded, replaced by something Royla had never before seen.
“I love you, Thanred.” The words spilled from her before she could stop them. The admission caused her throat to tighten. A moment before tears spilled from her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight to her body. A wave of relief swept through her as he did the same. “You are Master,” she said, her voice shaky with tears. “You always will be.”
“I... love you, Royla,” Thanred echoed.
The words caused a delicious heat to churn inside her body. She wished she could take back her question. As strange as it was, she now wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with this dominating, loving beast. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered, sniffling. “I didn’t mean...”
Thanred interrupted her by pulling away and pressing his lips to hers. They shared a long kiss. When it was over, the world seemed upside down but the way it was supposed to be. “We will find a way to be happy,” Thanred whispered.
In that moment Royla didn’t need anything else. Her doubts and worries melted with his warm embrace. Wherever they ended up, no matter how far it was from the life she’d known thus far, she swore she would be happy. She swore she would never forget this feeling and would love him the way she loved him right then.
Chapter Ten
The next weeks were spent wandering through the forest, toward Mother Mountain. Thanred knew of a spot in the foothills, on the south side of the peak, where there was a small brook and a dell. There was a cave there that he’d seen in his childhood, when the Dranark would go on their pilgrimages. Before they had all lost their faith.
No one ventured there anymore.
There they would be safe. He would build a home for them there. There were creatures aplenty he could hunt and berries growing in the surrounding forest. If he hadn’t already, he meant to breed her there and that is where they would make their new life. Together.
But her question haunted him. Through the days as they walked, talking and sharing stories. Through the nights when he lay next to her but could not sleep. It stayed wedged inside his mind, casting a dark shadow on his joy at having found her and claimed her as his.
When they came to the place, Royla’s excitement boiled over. She ran through the dell, spinning around with her arms out, her face to the sun, smiling at what would be their new home.
He told her to go into the woods and gather someberries, even fashioning a basket out of long grasses for her.
But as soon as she’d disappeared among the trees, his heart became heavy in his chest. He looked around the clearing, then up at the peak of Mother Mountain where a storm raged. He thought of what it might be like seeing their offspring playing in the long grass. A tightness clutched at his throat at the thought.
How would that end?
He could be happy. Of that he was certain. He would do his best to assure her happiness, too. But what about their children? There would come a time when they would want to spread their wings. There would come a time when they would crave more than just their parents’ love.
One day they, too, would want to seek a mate and what then? They could not return to the place of his childhood. Nor would they be able to go back to her palisade. They would begarshen, just like him. The unwanted.
This made an anger burn inside him: at the hopelessness of their situation, at Dodlin, at how cruel life could be.
He tried to close his eyes and breathe through the feeling. But even when Royla came wandering back, a smile on her face, he could not find the strength to let the anger go.
