I felt sick, and I bent toward my own stomach and chest as my eyes flew open. My hands met resistance above me—they were tied by rope to a column in the living room. I was on the floor, facing the glass doors that slid open to the patio overlooking the cove.
I saw shadows move across the floor, and then the black boots and black pants that Eric had been wearing. He was silhouetted against the bright sunlight. Another shadow moved. I closed my eyes, fear seizing me in an icy grip. I didn’t knowwhatI feared exactly—just that I wished I could make all of this go away, as if it had never happened.
“Why is she on the floor?”
It was Alaric’s voice. I wanted to hate him, to fear him, to feel nothing but anger, but instead I felt relief.
“She’s in recovery position,” Eric replied, and the shadows moved, a temporary break in the sunlight cooling the side of my face. “She didn’t take the news too well. I gave her a sedative. She was hyperventilating.”
I waited, my heart feeling like it would explode with grief and love and anger all at the same time, for Alaric to answer, but he didn’t. The shadows shifted again, and his fingers touched my neck. I could feel my tears welling up again.
“Her pulse is racing,” he said. His hand pressed against the back of my forehead. “You sure it’s nothing else?”
I felt someone’s fingers on my wrist. “It’s high. She’s probably awake. She’s mad as hell at you.”
I could feel my heart begin to beat faster, and I wanted to punch Eric in the face for being right, for betraying the last secret I felt I could have. Any minute now, I’d have to open my eyes, make this whole reality come alive again. And what would I do? How could I live with Alaric when I knew what he had done? How could I live with myself when I still wanted him, somewhere deep down inside, even though he had killed my friend?
Where would I go, even if I did want to leave this nightmare?
I opened my eyes. Alaric was looking down at me, the same concerned expression on his face that he had had when he rescued me from the boat.
My heart flipped, and I had a soaring moment of hope. My eyes were blurring over with my tears. I heard Eric say, “See? Awake.”
“Did you do it?” I said weakly.
Alaric’s face clouded over, and he stood up. “It’s done,” he said to no one in particular. Then, to Eric, “The copter is waiting for you.”
There was a silence. I couldn’t see much because my eyes were welling over with hot tears, and my chest felt tight again. But this time I didn’t care if I showed it. Fuck him, I thought.
“See what I mean?” Eric said. There was a pause. “I’m going to give you some advice one last time—”
“Save it,” Alaric said. “You’re done with your favor.”
“This is a freebie, man. You need to—”
“I have it handled.” Alaric cut his friend off, and their footsteps receded, as I bent over and made a hideous sound of grief.
I heard the helicopter over my head, and then I felt Alaric untying me. I was still crying, unable to make a sound except the gasp of air to breathe.
“I hate you,” I said, pushing him away as he tried to hold me. I started to hit him. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
I tried to stand up, but I was too unsteady—I supposed the sedative had been a lot stronger than I thought. Alaric caught me in his arms and held me tight to his chest. His fingers went into my hair. “Natalia, stop,” he said softly. “Stop, just listen to me—”
“I won’t!” I shouted, hitting him with my fists. “I won’t listen to you, ever.”
I was saying things I didn’t really feel. It was the right thing to do, to hate him, and if I said it enough I could make it true. I owed that much to Lucy. I was just brainwashed and he had warped my mind and my feelings, but nothing could take away that he was an evil killer. My body wanted him to hold me forever, but I had to freeze him out. I pictured Lucy, and I squeezed my eyes tightly to keep her face in my mind and my desire to hate Alaric alive in my chest.
His lips were close to my ear, and he whispered:
“Natalia, trust me now. Trust me, please. I love you. You can hate me now, but someday...” He pushed me away to look into my eyes. “Somedayvery soonyou will understand why I did what I did.”
My heart sank again, and I slipped to the floor. Alaric held my elbows and lowered me gently.
I felt the prick of a needle in my arm, and I should have felt alarmed, but instead I felt relief. Hopefully I could sleep through the rest of my life, I thought, instead of living this nightmare.
The drowsiness and the calming effect took over my thoughts almost immediately.
My body felt heavy, and Alaric got down on the floor in front of me as my heavy head tipped back. I couldn’t stop it—his hand caught it, holding me up. I started to talk.
