And then I collapsed on the bed, sobbing.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Alaric
Her words burned through me.
There was nothing but bad choices, I thought, taking the gun apart and cleaning it, staring into a blank wall so that I could do the motions from muscle memory. I did it over and over again, trying to keep my mind away from her voice, which yelled at me relentlessly, “I hate you! I’ll always hate you!”
She would, I knew. She would hate me, and the dream would be over. But if I left Lucy to the dogs who would eventually come for her, she would die a slow and painful death, and when she did, she would release from her lips the name Natalie Paulson. Adopted.
And it would only take one casual glimpse at a yearbook picture or the wall of seedy pictures at Kitty Bang Bang to see that ‘Natalie Paulson’ was Kyril Karkarov’s daughter. Andrej would sing like a bird, because he was no dummy either. And it wouldn’t be long before Natalia Karkarov would be the item to steal. What a great day it would be when they discovered that Natalia Karkarov not only opened Swiss safes, but could also open the doors to anything and everything you ever wanted to get from Alaric Vitkus.
And there was quite a bit of value in that.
But... if Lucy could be silenced, quietly and kindly, before anyone ever got to her, then Natalia would be fairly safe; still missing, a holy grail that no one would ever find.
Would she hate me forever?
Surely she could come to understand the wisdom of my decision?
But—I reminded myself with bitterness, as I remembered the crucial problem—Natalia seeing the reason behind my actions would require Natalia knowing that Lucy posed a direct threat to herownsafety.
And for that, I would have to tell her the truth. The truth about who she was, about why the connection could never be made. Making it so that she forgave me would destroy her, I knew that. Natalia was someone pure, someonegood, and I would do anything to make sure that she was never troubled by the knowledge that her father was a bad man, that she was the secret to something bad.
Even if it meant that she would hate me.
Maybe in time, maybe if she had no choice, she would someday forgive me for Lucy.
I watched the sun go down and settled on my course of action.
There was no other way.
