“Okay,” he said. He looked up at the sky. “Go for it, Natalia. Shoot me. Please.”
I was panting, too, I realized. I started to cry, though I couldn’t say why. I looked down at the gun, but it felt too heavy to even raise.
And nothing made any sense at all anymore.
He dropped his arms. “No?” he said, reaching for the gun, pointing it at his chest.
My hands shook and I let go of the gun.
Quicker than I could move, he snapped it around and slammed it into the holster. “What?” he gasped. He had me in his arms and pulled me to his chest. My knees gave out and I sank into him, crying. “What the hell were you doing?” he said. His lips were at the top of my head, his fingers at the back of my scalp.
“I h-h-heard you,” I blubbered. “I heard you, I heard you. You’re going to kill me, you’re going to kill Lucy, and me, and the baby, you and... Eric...”
He squeezed me tighter, and the embrace made me melt away further. It felt protective, his chest filling with air, a long sigh escaping him. I went limp. I was so lost, and all I could think of was how good it felt to be in his arms, even if this was my last moment on earth.
“Natalia,” he said. And then he began to rattle off something in another language.
He pushed me in front of him, shaking me by my shoulders. “You are such a stupid, stupid girl. You understand nothing.”
We stood there, staring at each other, my eyes so filled with tears that I could barely make out his face.
“You’re not going to—”
“No. You silly girl. I’m not...” He pushed both hands through his hair. He was squinting, thinking, searching his mind for something. “Don’t you understand anything?”
I shook my head.
He lifted my dropping face by the chin. “Natalia. Natalia. You’re the one who is going to kill me.”
I was crying again. I collapsed to the deck. “I don’t understand,” I sobbed. “I don’t understand anything.”
He lifted me by the arms and pulled me close to him again. “I know. I know.”
We were there for a long time, the boats bobbing slightly as a breeze picked up.
“We’re going home,” he said at last. He pushed me toward the seat by the cockpit. “Sit there,” he said firmly.
He took the wheel of the boat. “I promise to tell you,” he said, looking into the controls. “I promise to tell you everything.”
