"What if I say something stupid? What if I embarrass myself in front of you and Grayson and River? What if—" He stops himself. "Sorry. I'm spiraling."
"You're allowed to spiral." I reach across the table, covering his hand with mine. "I'm spiraling too."
That seems to help. His shoulders drop, and he turns his hand over to lace our fingers together.
"Really?"
"Really. I've been a mess since I woke up." I lower my voice. "Ben could smell my anxiety through my bedroom door this morning. It was mortifying."
Seth's laugh is startled and genuine. "At least you have a good excuse. I don't even have that. I'm just... nervous."
"About tonight?"
"About everything." He squeezes my hand. "About whether I'm good enough. Whether I can be what you need. Whether—" He stops again, looking down at our joined hands. "I really like you, Bea. And I keep waiting for you to realize I'm just this anxious mess who can't get through a conversation without overthinking every word."
My chest aches. "Seth, that's literally what I like about you."
He looks up, surprised.
"You're thoughtful," I continue. "You care. You don't just barrel through things assuming everything will work out. You think about consequences and feelings and how your actions affect other people." I squeeze his hand back. "That's not a flaw. That's a strength."
"Even when I'm catastrophizing about dinner?"
"Especially then. Because it means tonight matters to you. We matter to you."
His eyes go soft. "You really do."
Millie appears with waters and a knowing look. "You two are adorable. What can I get you?"
We order BLTs for both of us and fall into easier conversation. Seth tells me about a call he responded to this morning involving Mrs. Henderson's cat getting stuck in a tree for the third time this month.
"She keeps leaving her window open," he says. "And Mr. Whiskers keeps climbing out and immediately regretting his life choices."
"Mr. Whiskers needs better decision-making skills."
"Mr. Whiskers needs a therapist." He grins. "But I'm getting very good at cat rescue, so there's that."
"Very important deputy skills."
"Essential." His thumb traces circles on the back of my hand, casual and intimate at once. "What about you? How was your morning?"
"Mortifying. Ben heard the gossip about the formal courting and gave me endless amounts of grief about it. Also apparently the entire town knows we're having dinner tonight."
"Yeah, I heard about that too." He doesn't look bothered. "Sheriff mentioned it this morning. Said it was 'about damn time' one of us 'got our head out of our ass.' His words, not mine."
"The sheriff knows?"
"The sheriff knows everything. It's his job." Seth's smile turns softer.
"I'm going to die of embarrassment before we even make it to dessert."
"No you're not. We're just... figuring this out together."
The sandwiches arrive, and we eat. But I can't stop thinking about what he said.We're figuring this out together.
Not him figuring it out. Not me figuring it out.We.
"Tell me something," he say after a few minutes.
