"Honey, I've been watching you pine after that girl for weeks. Of course I knew." She pats my cheek. "Now go get her. And Seth? Stop being so hard on yourself. You're a catch."
Twenty minutes later,I'm walking into Brooks Hardware with my heart trying to escape through my throat.
The bell above the door chimes. Bea looks up from behind the counter, and her whole face goes through about fiveexpressions in two seconds—surprise, panic, guilt, hope, and something that might be relief.
"Seth." My name comes out breathless. "Hi. I—what are you doing here?"
"Hi." I set down the coffee and bag on the counter. My hands are shaking. "Brought you coffee. I mean—I brought coffee. For you."
She stares at the cup like it might explode. "You brought me coffee."
"Hazelnut latte, extra shot, oat milk." I can't quite meet her eyes. "And a blueberry muffin. From Maeve. She said—I mean, I wanted to bring you something and she suggested—" I'm rambling. "Coffee."
"You—" She picks up the cup, and I watch her throat work as she swallows. "Seth, I'm so sorry. About last night. I know you saw me at Millie's with Grayson and I—I should have texted you or something but I didn't know what to say and?—"
"I did." The words come out flat. Then I wince. "See you. With him. I mean."
She flinches. "Yeah. I figured. You looked—" She stops. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." I force myself to look at her. "Don't apologize for having dinner with someone."
"But I?—"
"You didn't do anything wrong, Bea." My voice comes out a little steadier now. "You're allowed to have dinner with whoever you want. You're allowed to—" I gesture vaguely. "To figure things out."
She's staring at me like I just spoke in another language. "You're not mad."
"I'm—" I stop. Run a hand through my hair. "I'm not mad. I was... hurt. Jealous, maybe. But not mad."
"You should be mad." Her voice is small. "I kissed you at the festival. Then I kissed River yesterday. Then I had dinner with Grayson. I'm a disaster."
"You're not a disaster."
"I kissed you at the festival. Then I kissed River yesterday. And I had dinner with Grayson last night." Her voice is strained. "I'm stringing all three of you along and I don't even know what I want."
Despite everything, I almost smile. "You're not stringing anyone along."
"It feels like I am." She's gripping the coffee cup tighter. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"Or maybe you're just trying to figure out what you want," I say quietly.
She lets out a watery laugh. "Is that what we're calling it?"
"That's what it looks like to me."
We stand there in awkward silence. She's gripping the coffee cup like a lifeline. I'm gripping the counter edge because if I don't, I might do something stupid like reach for her.
"Why are you being so nice about this?" she asks finally. "Why aren't you telling me to pick someone? Or demanding to know what I'm doing?"
"Because—" I take a breath. "Because I don't think you know yet. What you're doing. What you want." I meet her eyes. "And that's okay."
"It doesn't feel okay." Her voice cracks slightly. "It feels like I'm hurting everyone and I don't know how to stop."
"You're not hurting anyone." The words come out fiercer than I intend. "Bea, you're not responsible for how we feel. Any of us."
She looks up at me, eyes shining. "Seth?—"
"I care about you," I say, before I lose my nerve. The words tumble out faster now. "A lot. More than I probably should afterone kiss and some awkward conversations. But that's—that's my problem, not yours. You don't owe me anything."
