I'm so screwed.
Chapter 12
Seth
Ihaven't slept.
Every time I close my eyes, I see her. Bea in that booth at Millie's, sitting across from Grayson Cole like it was the most natural thing in the world. Laughing. Talking. Her scent mixing with his in a way that made my instincts scream.
And the worst part? She looked comfortable. Relaxed. Like Grayson was exactly the kind of alpha she needed.
Not me. Never me.
I roll out of bed at five-thirty, even though my shift doesn't start until eight. Sleep's pointless anyway. Might as well make myself useful.
The station's quiet when I arrive, just the night shift wrapping up. I grab coffee—terrible station coffee that tastes like burnt rubber—and start working through paperwork. Incident reports. Traffic citations. The mindless bureaucracy of small-town law enforcement.
It's not helping. Nothing helps when my brain keeps replaying last night on an endless loop.
"You look like hell."
I jerk upright so fast I nearly spill my coffee. Nate Thorn stands in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing that expression that means he's noticed something's off. My partner and mentor—six years older, infinitely more confident, and currently studying me like I'm a suspect he's trying to read.
"Couldn't sleep," I manage.
"No shit." He doesn't wait for an invitation, just walks in and shuts the door behind him. "Want to talk about it, or should I guess? Because I'm pretty good at guessing, and right now I'm guessing it has something to do with Bea Wilson."
Heat crawls up my neck. "I don't know what you're?—"
"Seth." His voice is patient. "You've been useless for three days. You nearly filed a noise complaint under 'assault with a deadly weapon' yesterday. And you smell like an alpha who's about thirty seconds away from either fighting someone or having a breakdown."
I slump in my chair. "She was with Grayson Cole. At Millie's. Having dinner."
"And?"
"And she looked happy. Comfortable. Like he's exactly the kind of alpha she needs." The words taste bitter. "Confident. Cool. Everything I'm not."
Nate's quiet for a moment. Then he sits down across from me, and I know I'm about to get the lecture. The one about how I need to stop comparing myself to other alphas, how my particular strengths matter too.
I've heard it before. It's never helped.
"You know what I see when I look at you?" Nate's voice is firm. "I see an alpha who shows up every single day. Who treats people with respect even when they're treating him like shit. Who remembers Mrs. Henderson's cat's name and brings coffee to victims at accident scenes and stays late to finish paperwork so the next shift has it easy."
"That's not?—"
"That's everything." He leans forward. "Seth, you're twenty-seven. You've spent your whole life thinking you're not enough because you're not loud or aggressive or traditionally 'alpha.' But you know what? There are plenty of different ways to be a good alpha. The world needs more deputies who give a damn. More alphas who lead with kindness instead of dominance."
My throat tightens. "She was with Grayson."
"One dinner doesn't mean anything." Nate's eyes are serious. "And even if it does—even if she's interested in him—that doesn't automatically mean she's not interested in you too. From what I hear, River Brooks is also in the mix."
I blink. "How do you?—"
"Small town, Seth. Everyone knows everything." He grins. "And between you and me? I think you're all idiots if you're competing instead of cooperating."
The words hang in the air.
"What do you mean?"
