My world starts to spin as they talk through details.
How freaking careless have I been? Why did I think this wouldn’t catch up with me? I’m not Vivi. Literally everything catches up with me. I did this to myself. I have to get out of here.
I set my mug down. But my hands are shaky and it lands too hard. Coffee splashes over the rim and both nurses look up. Their faces cycle through surprise, guilt, and something that looks almost like satisfaction. Meanwhile it’s all I can do to push down the nausea swirling in my stomach.
"Serena." The taller one, Rodriguez I think, pastes on a fake smile. "We were just talking about the SERE training. It sounds intense."
"Mm-hmm." I keep my voice flat. "Anything else you want to say about it?"
They exchange a glance. "Nope. Just... you hear things. It’s probably gossip. You know how this place is, it’s practically high school all over again."
“Right.” I grab my coffee and walk out without another word. But the voice in my head is screaming louder than ever.
They know. Or they think they know which is almost worse. I should just pack my things now. I’m as good as fired.
My anxiety hits overdrive from there. I spend the rest of my shift in a haze of paranoia, a racing heart, and a tightening in my chest. Every whispered conversation feels like it's about me. Every sideways glance feels like an accusation.
By the time five o'clock rolls around, I'm wound so tight I could snap. That’s when my supervisor calls me into her office and I can hardly breathe.
Lieutenant Commander Hayes doesn't waste time with pleasantries.
"Serena, come in. There are rumors circulating about you and one of the SERE instructors."
My stomach drops through the floor and I swallow hard as I slide back into the chair across from her.
She continues, "I'm not asking for confirmation or denial. Although personally, I’d be shocked if it were true. You simply aren’t the type.”
Hayes gives me a smile and I think it is supposed to be comforting. It misses the mark. Although, it’s hard to say what exactly she’s trying to communicate when I’m struggling to get air.
I know she’s still talking, but the words are largely drowned out by my own thoughts.I’ve worked so fucking hard to be where I’m at. Three years of early mornings. Double shifts. Never saying no when they ask me to stay. I’ve fucked it up in one reckless night.
“Serena, are you okay?”
I pull my shoulders back. “Yes, I hear you.”
“I'm telling you that perception matters as much as reality. The training ends in a few days. Maybe keep your head down until then. This will pass and we’ll all get back to normal life.”
"Understood, thanks for the heads up.”
My mouth freezes into a straight line and each step is shaky. But I make it to the bathroom before I fall apart. I lock myself in a stall and press my back against the cold metal of the door. My hands land on my thighs and I lean forward.
My chest is tight. My eyes are burning but my breath finally slows. That’s when the reality hits me.My life is crumbling because I couldn't keep my hands off a man I barely know.
My phone buzzes to life in my pocket and I can’t ignore it because it’s probably Vivi. On top of everything else, my sister is in the early stages of planning a crusade to meet a man she believes is a professional football player in South Carolina.
After all she’s told me, I don’t think there’s going to be any talking her out of it. Vivi doesn’t hesitate once her mind is made up. For all I know, she’s already pulled the plug on her bartending job and could be packing her car.
“Dammit Vivi.” I slide the phone out of my pocket. But the message isn’t from her at all… It’s from Blaze.
Blaze:Hey, you okay? Walked by the clinic and you were already gone for the day.
I stare at the screen for a long moment. The man’s got timing, I have to give him that.
Serena:I’m fine, just a busy day.
Blaze:Need a massage?
Serena:Blaze I can't right now. I'm sorry.
