Despite the silence, I barely sleep. But for the first time in a long time, it's anticipation keeping me awake instead of regret.
I get to see her tomorrow. Now I just need to figure out how to keep her.
CHAPTER 7
SERENA
Ispend the night tossing and turning. The thought of being alone with Blaze keeps my pulse jumping. I turn on a hypnosis podcast and close my eyes. I take deep breaths… I give up on sleep in favor of Netflix and chilling. Then, after more episodes of 90 Day Fiance than I’d like to admit, I get up with the sun.
Then I spend three hours in a cycle of being excited, worried, convinced that I’ve made this whole thing up, back to excited. But at least I use the time to shower, do my hair, and change my outfit four times.
In the end it’s time to leave and I stare at my reflection in the mirror like it holds the answers to questions I'm too scared to ask.
Is this a mistake? Is this a complication you can’t afford? Should I cancel?
But there’s no way in hell I’m cancelling because every time I close my eyes, I see him. The way he looked at me in the mess hall. The way his hand on mine lit me up inside. The way he saidpleasein that hallway.
Nobody has ever looked at me like that. Nobody has ever wanted me like that. Maybe going for it with Blaze makes meselfish or reckless. But for once in my life, I want to know what it feels like to choose something just because I want it.
I pull into the Eagles Crest parking lot at 9:58.
He's already here.
Blaze is leaning against a black pickup truck. His arms are crossed over his chest and he’s watching the road like he's been waiting for hours. He's in jeans and a gray henley that stretches across his shoulders. When he sees my car, his whole face changes.
Blaze flashes me a smile so genuine it makes my heart flip over in my chest.
Fuck, I’m in so much trouble.
I park next to his truck and take a deep breath before I get out. He's already moving toward me. Out here without all the eyes on us, I feel like I can breathe. For a second I think he's going to pull me into his arms right here in the parking lot. Instead he stops a foot away. He’s close enough to touch me, but he doesn’t.
I wish he would.
"You came," he says.
"Of course, I said I would."
"I know." His voice is soft. "But I wasn't sure you'd actually show."
“I wouldn’t miss it.” I shove my hands in my jacket pockets to keep from reaching for him.
“Come on.” He gestures toward the trailhead. "Walk with me?"
We start up the path in silence. The trail winds through towering pines and dappled sunlight filtering through the branches. The only sounds are birdsong and the crunch of gravel under our boots.
It's peaceful and private… Dangerous.
"I used to hike trails like this back home," Blaze says after a while. "All the guys in my family work for a logging operation up in the Pacific Northwest. Timber Logging over in Lumberjack Lagoon."
"Lumberjack Lagoon?" I glance at him with a giggle. "Is that why you're so..."
"Big?" He grins. "Nah, that's just genetics. But hauling timber since I was twelve probably didn't hurt."
I try to picture him as a kid with gangly limbs, messy hair, climbing trees and getting into trouble. The image makes something warm bloom in my chest.
"What was that like? Growing up in a logging family?"
His smile fades a little. "Rough. My dad was old school, you know, boomers doing boomer shit. It was all hard work and harder discipline. My mom died when I was seven, so it was just me and him and my two brothers."
