“Something wrong with this hallway?” he finally said.
I frowned. “What?”
“You want to apologize. Here’s as good a place as any.”
“Oh. Right.” I swallowed, and an unfamiliar sensation filled my gut. Was that…nervousness? Shit. It was. I was standing here in front of Panther, palms sweating, anxiety riding me like a wave, all because I needed to apologize and he needed to hear it. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I said some really shitty things to you, things I didn’t mean, and—”
Panther pushed me to the side abruptly, toward the wall, and it wasn’t until the maintenance crew passed by that I realized we’d been blocking the hallway.
I looked down to where Panther’s hand was still on my arm, and he jerked away as though I were on fire. No, that wouldn’t do. I didn’t want him to pull away from me. It just wasn’t going to go down this way.
Steeling my spine for the inevitable shutdown, I said, “Look. There’s a lot I need to say, more apologies I need to make, but it would be better said in private. I’m not taking no for an answer from you this time, so if you’re not cool with meeting me later, we can have it out right here, right now, in front of everyone. The choice is yours.”
The incredulous look on Panther’s face would’ve been funny if I hadn’t been so serious about this ultimatum. He wasn’t a guy you did that to, and though it looked like he wanted to tell me to fuck off, I could see the curiosity winning out.
His ice-blue eyes held mine, like he was trying to mine the truth out of me. “After our last class. The abandoned park.”
I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath until it poured out of me in relief. I’d expected more pushback, so I was caught a bit off guard at his easy acquiescence. “I’ll be there.”
Panther shifted his bag on his shoulder and nodded before heading back to wherever he’d been going to before I stopped him.
But as he walked away from me this time, I didn’t feel the sense of dread that had followed me around for the last day. Instead, I felt hope, hope that the odds were in my favor, because there was no way I was letting go of him without a fight. And after tonight, he’d know it too.
24Panther
HOURS LATER, I pulled into the lot of the abandoned park, the one I’d come to after first kissing Solo at NAFTA what seemed like years ago. That day was the first time I really felt like I’d gotten to see a glimpse of the man behind the rebellious act he put on.
I shut off the bike and placed my helmet on one of the handles, then headed over to where the long-deserted merry-go-round sat empty. It felt like déjà vu being back here, all up in my head after another round with Solo. The start of his apology had seemed genuine enough, but I needed more than “I’m sorry” to make things right. I needed to know what was going on in his head that had caused him to lash out, and if he couldn’t give me that, then there wasn’t a present or future with him, no matter how much the thought of it stung.
Gravel crunched under the weight of Solo’s bike approaching, and I felt my stomach twist around itself in anticipation. Was this going to be the beginning or the end? I certainly knew which way I thought things were going, but after Solo’s outburst, I was starting to second-guess myself.
As he stopped his bike and climbed off, I wiped my sweaty palms on my thighs, my nerves shot to shit after everything that had gone down. But when he pulled his helmet off, the look of relief that crossed his face told me I wasn’t the only one.
Solo secured his helmet to the back of his bike and climbed off. As he made his way in my direction, I took a second to drink him in like this—like a lover would—just in case it was my last.
He was in jeans and a white t-shirt, and before he’d gotten off his bike, he’d slipped his Aviators back in place. It was one of the most casual outfits he could possibly wear, but Solo exuded this certain kind of swagger, this effortless sex appeal, that made every single part of my body respond—especially my heart.
He was it for me. I’d known it for some time now. But with the possibility of it coming to an end, of Solo feeling differently, I made sure to memorize this moment, this picture he made, for fear it would be the last thing I got.
“You’re here,” Solo said, coming to a stop in front of me, and it took everything I had not to tell him I would’ve gone anywhere if it meant him finally talking to me. He’d hurt me, and while I wanted nothing more than to stand up, kiss his frustrating mouth, and tell him everything was okay, I needed more than that. I needed an explanation.
“I told you I would be.”
“Yeah, but I kinda thought you might ditch me. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I wouldn’t blame me either.” When Solo grimaced, I blurted out, “You were a real dick yesterday, you know that?”
Solo nodded then gestured to the empty spot on the merry-go-round beside me. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“No. But only if you’re going to talk. I’m not really in the mood for the wholethere’s nothing wrongspeech again.”
Solo didn’t say anything to that, but he didn’t need to. The fact that he sat next to me spoke volumes.
“Panther, I…” Solo paused and looked over my shoulder for a second, and I could see the wheels turning as he tried to work out where he wanted to begin. Then his eyes came back to mine, and the pain there nearly made my heart break. “I’m so sorry for what I said to you yesterday.”
I could tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it, but that still wasn’t enough for me. “Which part?”
Solo’s eyes widened a fraction. “Which part? Um…all of it? I’m pretty sure yesterday’s flight caused my brain to melt and word vomit to just pour out of my mouth.”
