Which he’d promptly thrown into the trash on the corner of the street.
“He likes to tease me.” Pavel ignored his brother’s snort.
“Or he’s just really into Great and you’re deluding yourself,” Ledger said.
“If he cared about that man, he never would have brought him here.”
Ledge considered and then hummed in agreement. “Fair. But I remind you again, you can’t kill him. We don’t mess with each other’s friends.”
Pavel understood the rules. That was why he was standing here, on the third level, hidden behind two-way glass, his blood boiling with every smile and friendly comment exchanged between his doctor and the racer below.
There were a lot of ways he could make Great pay that didn’t involve outright killing him. Breaking his legs or shattering his kneecap and ensuring he couldn’t race again were just a couple of ideas running through his mind. Madden wouldn’t be pleased with either of those outcomes though, and may even take it out on Zane…
Because only a blind fool would miss what Zane was doing.
Well.
A blind fool and apparently Ledger Undergrove.
“You shouldn’t have told him about the bashert thing,” his brother said. “That’s why he’s taking things this far.”
Maybe Ledger wasn’t as clueless as he was pretending to be after all.
“He doesn’t believe me.” Pavel had known there was a good chance of that happening. “He’s only ever been used and abandoned by the people in his life. He doesn’t trust anyone could want him for forever.”
“He’s afraid?”
Pavel shook his head. “It isn’t fear. It’s disbelief. He can’t comprehend it, so he’s pushing me away and waiting to see how I’ll react. If I give up on him, I prove him right and he’ll go back to his everyday life. But if I don’t, he’ll start letting down his walls and allow himself to start considering me as a potential mate.”
“Mind games.” Ledger wasn’t a fan. “I ask again, are you sure you’ve gotten this right? You’re not just believing what you want to believe?”
“I know him.”
“I’m not convinced anyone knows Zane Solace,” he said. “Hell, I’m not even sure he knows himself. If everything you’re saying is correct, that means the guy is putting himself through the wringer as well, and for what? Because he can’t decide whether or not to give you a chance? How hard is it to date someone and find out?”
In Zane’s defense, Pavel hadn’t exactly asked if the two of them could date…He’d sort of…glossed over that detail. He’d been so caught up in the hunt and the need to finally make his intentions known, he’d forgotten all about the romance and relationship aspect of courtship.
Their mother had run an unofficial DNA test on him when he’d been fourteen and puberty had hit hard. Some of the information had come back inconclusive—most likely because the database known as Demeter Station had many firewalls that required specific clearance and codes to access—but they’d gotten some answers.
He was Yurn and D’vitar for sure, as well as Hexan. The first and second were what allowed him to alter his physical appearance. Being Yurn meant there was a risk of having a total mental breakdown. Though his brain was never taken apart and reformed like the rest of him, it did have to shrink and grow depending on the size of the skull of the person he shifted into. This took a toll. The meds Pavel needed would ideally prevent him from losing his mind, but they came with the nasty side effect of making him more aggressive.
That night he’d shapeshifted to frame Zane, he’d needed to pop two pills. Same as when he’d morphed into the doctor in order to sneak into the Little Palace. He felt untethered whenever he took the pills, like a ball of frenetic energy with nowhere to go and nothing to latch onto.
It was the D’vitar that kept him even remotely grounded. They were a species that mated for life, naturally seeking outtheir soulmate, or bashert, the person with an energy pattern that would sync nicely with their own.
He and Zane were a perfect match. When he was with him, Pavel felt centered. He felt right. Fulfilled. The problem lay in the fact Zane was not D’vitar. Hexan’s didn’t have the same connections or urges and could marry and divorce on a whim. That wasn’t the type of relationship he was after, but convincing Zane to hand himself over for a lifetime was proving trickier than he’d hoped.
Pavel could give him exactly what he’d always yearned for. Shouldn’t that be enough? He would provide family, purpose, and longing. There was nothing and no one he wanted more than Zane, and he was willing to remind the doctor of that every single day for the rest of their lives.
Zane was attracted to him, that much was obvious. He also enjoyed Pavel’s presence, otherwise, he never would have allowed the stalking to continue. Instead of getting angry with him, Zane had even turned it into a game of sorts, purposefully trying to rile him up.
“Mom is worried about you,” Ledger’s voice cut through Pavel’s thoughts, and he realized he hadn’t been listening to a single word his brother had uttered in the last five minutes. “She said you’ve come by three times to pick up more pills. You know you’re not supposed to shift too frequently.”
“I haven’t,” he reassured. “It’s only been a handful of times.”
Ledger looked like he wanted to scold him but sighed. “I won’t lecture you, brother, but remember, you’re not invincible.”
“I also can’t survive without my bashert,” he stated. “So what do you expect me to do?”
