Zane needed to try harder?
Okay.
He could do that.
Chapter 19:
Zane felt the presence with him in the pool room before he surfaced, but the dash of anticipation withered as soon as he reached the end and came up.
Maybe Pavel wastoogood at sticking to the rules because it wasn’t him who greeted Zane.
Lyra was seated in one of the lounge chairs nearby, legs crossed, chin propped on her left hand. She smiled when he caught her eye, a familiar expression, easygoing and lax. There was nothing sexual about that smile, nothing that would make it seem like she was after anything other than companionship.
And yet…
Slowly, Zane lifted himself out of the pool, ignoring the steps. He shook off a bit, knowing that she liked to see him like this, with his muscles taut from the workout, water dripping down his bare skin. He gave her time to look her fill, making it seem like he was merely pushing water out of his hair and off his body before he headed toward the small table next to her where he’d left his things.
“Good evening,” he greeted, reaching for the thick towel. The pool room was heated, so there was no rush to use it, but he dabbed at himself nonetheless.
It’d been a very long time since they’d played this game, and he was admittedly out of sorts about it. It felt like he’d finally gotten a breather away from Pavel, only for Lyra to suddenly renew her once dwindling interest.
Had she ended things with her other lover? Good Light, he hoped not.
Or could this impromptu visit be about Pavel and the task she’d assigned Zane? He didn’t want to talk about the other Retinue member, especially not with her.
His mind wandered to earlier today at the university when he’d watched Pavel and Ledger interacting. The two of them had laughed and seemingly negged each other all through lunch. The way they were with one another was comfortable—real comfort too, none of this fake pleasantry that was expressed between Zane and Lyra.
Watching them, seeing the way Pavel had welcomed Ledger’s boyfriend Nikita so openly…He could admit it. Zane had been envious.Hisbrother barely accepted him, let alone any of his lovers. Hell, the only reason Aodhan tolerated Lyra was because she was the Imperial Heir and her position made her useful.
Without that, there was a very good chance Aodhan would have lost control over his urges and done something to jeopardize them all by now. He’d never cared about keeping the Solace name out of the papers. If getting caught didn’t mean immediate incarceration and almost definitely the death penalty, Aodhan wouldn’t even bother being careful about his actions.
Adopting Zane had been necessary for their parents in more ways than one, and while that used to be enough for him, used to curb the appetite he had for being wanted, he found it no longer was.
He wasn’t satisfied.
That was…dangerous.
“Zane.” Lyra’s hand rested on the rise of his left hipbone, drawing his attention back to her. “Is everything all right? You’ve seemed distracted lately.”
“I’m fine.” It took all his willpower not to pull away from her touch, which was…interesting.
He’d never really liked her, of course, but there’d been an attraction there that had at least made hooking up easy. Whoring himself out had never been the problem, it’d been knowing that it wouldn’t matter how many times he made her come, she would never choose him as anything more than her fuck toy.
Not that Zane had any delusions of grandeur. He didn’t want a fancy title, certainly didn’t dream of becoming a legitimate part of the Imperial family through marriage or anything like that, but he’d be lying if he said it hadn’t hurt, especially when he’d been younger and more naïve.
He’d always held some level of Lyra’s attention, since the moment he was presented to her brother on Kelevra’s eighteenth birthday. She’d openly stared at him with desire, and he’d dutifully pretended not to notice.
Kazimir had gotten to him first, and though he’d fought at the time, Zane had grown fond of their time together rather quickly.
Which was why it’d been such a betrayal when suddenly Lyra was brought into their mix. It hadn’t taken long to realize she’d lied to Kaz, convinced him the two of them were already fucking on the side even though that hadn’t been true. Because of her position, Zane hadn’t been able to correct her either. He couldn’t even complain, really, because what she’d done wasn’t any worse or better than what any of the Devils had.
It certainly wasn’t worse than what Pavel had done to him.
So why was he wishing it was the other Retinue member who was here with him, touching him instead of her?
She could at least get him somewhere in life. There was an exchange between them every time they got intimate. Lyra could help him achieve his goals, make him important by ensuring he became the Royal Doctor.
What could Pavel give him that she couldn’t?
