Her pretty broken instrument she’d sat on the shelf and left to collect dust.
The roast he’d been eating turned to ash in his mouth and he downed the contents of his glass in a poor attempt to chase the taste away. He was wallowing. Again. It was the stress and the anxiety brought on from lack of contentment. At least when he was getting fucked whenever he needed, he could blow off this extra steam and refocus, but now…
Sex was a temporary solution, but it was effective. When he was being pinned down by someone, he could convince himself he was wanted. That he mattered to someone, even if just for a moment.
Even if it was just to get them to release.
Zane parent’s hadn’t wantedhim. They’d wanted a second heir, one they could sell to the Diar family in order to form a lifelong connection. Aodhan would never have gone along with their plans, which they’d realized early on, so they’d turned to the orphanage on the planet they’d happened to be visiting for business. They’d left Hexa with Zane and that had been that.
To the rest of the universe, Zane was their biological son. There was a whole backstory/explanation as to why no one had known about him until his eleventh birthday. He’d been sickly since birth and kept on a separate planet for treatment, blah blah blah. Very few people knew the truth.
That was another reason he’d been chosen over someone else. Zane had matched their appearance well enough to pass as their real son. He and Aodhan were almost always pegged as siblings out in society, despite not having a drop of shared blood between them.
Aodhan hadn’t wanted him either. He hadn’t cared that a brother meant he could live the life he wanted and not worryabout catering to his parents’ demands because he was always going to do that anyway. In the early years, Zane was mostly just there the same way a new piece of furniture would sometimes turn up in the Solace mansion.
When he’d been eighteen and finally brought to Vitality and gifted to Kelevra, the Imperial Prince hadn’t batted an eyelash. He might have said cool, but that was the extent of it. Then again, being given literal people as presents was pretty par for the course for Kel, so no wonder Zane wasn’t considered all that special.
The two of them had lived at the Little Palace up until high school graduation. When Kelevra had moved out, Zane had stuck behind because it’d been easier for Kazimir and Lyra to fuck him behind everyone else’s back when they had an entire palace to do it in.
Lyra had lost sexual interest in him first, which was fine since he and Kazimir had their own fling separate from her.
Then Nate Narek had come along and spoiled that good thing as well, resulting in Zane the only one all alone and not getting his dick or his pussy wet.
Unwanted. Unimportant. Again.
For once, he just wanted to be someone’s main choice. He didn’t want to be an option or a possibility bred from convenience, and the only way he could see that happening was for him to become the Imperial family’s doctor. Once he had that title, they wouldn’t just want him. They would need him.
No one else was going to make him matter. Clearly he had to do that on his own.
“I don’t recall you and Pavel Hart being particularly close,” Lyra said.
“We aren’t.” Not if knowing how having practically the guy’s whole hand shoved up his ass counted, and Zane didn’tthink it did. The only thing he’d gleaned from that exchange had been that Pavel was a sadist.
And good with his hands.
But whatever.
“Are you certain?” she asked.
“If there’s something you want me to do, just tell me.” They both knew Zane would get it done, no matter what her request entailed. Even if it had something to do with the psychotic man suddenly showing interest in him.
If they were going to bring up things that mattered, Lyra, who was helping to keep the International Police Force off of Aodhan’s heels, meant a great deal more to Zane than a guy who’d chaotically hunted him through the forestonetime.
“Could you get close to him for me?” she asked, and when he blinked at her, obviously caught off guard, added, “I don’t mean romantically. I’d just like for you to take advantage of you both being members of the Retinue and keep an eye on him.”
That…was weird.
“Why?” What did she suspect? Did she know it’d really been Pavel who killed Samuel? If so, surely she would have called him out on it like she had the other lie he’d told.
“I don’t trust him,” she explained.
“Why not?” No, that wasn’t the right question. “Do you think he could mean harm to your family?” Zane shook his head. “Pavel is unhinged, but he’s loyal.”
She tapped the tips of her long silver nails against the tabletop. “Yes, but the real question is, who is he loyal to?”
He frowned. “Kelevra.”
“You don’t know what I know about him,” she disagreed, admittedly piquing his interest. Before he could ask for her to elaborate, however, she held up a hand. “I won’t tell you. It’s a secret, and it needs to stay that way. For now, at least. Thesecond I think the perceived threat may be real, you’ll be the first I tell, Zanie.”
