His eyes shuddered. “I’m sorry.”
“What?” Zane frowned. “What for? It’s not like you hid the cameras.”
“No, but I watched you through them.”
“Well, yeah, but so?”
Pavel frowned. “You just said that disgusted you.”
He grabbed Pavel’s shirt over his stomach, twisting the material in his hold, needing to feel connected to him. He didn’t like that forlorn look on the other man’s face. Didn’t like the fact that he’d accidentally been the one to put it there.
“Not byyou,” Zane insisted. “If having you spy on me was gross, why would I have purposefully left the house so manytimes in the middle of the night just to lead you on random strolls through the city?” This past month, he’d gotten less sleep than he had in his entire life because of that. Because of the need to feel Pavel there, at his back. Close to him.
The need to know he hadn’t grown tired of the game and abandoned him already.
“Thinking about you watching me without my permission is different.” It was hot, way hotter than it should have been, mostly because it called to that needy, insecure part of Zane that believed no one cared what he did or said. “It’s Lyra that doesn’t have the right to me. The fact she did that is crossing so many lines.”
“That’s hypocritical,” Pavel pointed out.
“It isn’t.”
“In what way?”
“Because it’s you.” Zane blew out a breath. Damn it. He’d just admitted something major, hadn’t he?
Everything was tense and quiet for a moment—or, at least Zane was tense, Pavel still seemed relaxed—until the other man broke the silence.
“You like me, Doctor.”
“No shit.”
“You like having me around.”
“Obviously.”
“I want you to like taking baths with me, eating meals with me, and hanging out with me as well,” Pavel told him. “I want you to find in me that thing you’ve always desired.”
“Yeah,” Zane said stubbornly, “and what’s that?”
Pavel ran his hand through his hair, brushing the silky strands off Zane’s forehead, and replied matter-of-factly, “Home.”
Chapter 28:
Zane was getting less uncomfortable.
Sort of.
Having someone cook for him was at least something he was used to, and as long as he pretendedreallyhard, he couldalmostconvince himself Pavel was merely staff making him dinner.
“Where did you learn to cook?” Distraction. That’s what he needed.
They’d gone down to the main level where he’d taken a closer look at the open floor plan before following Pavel into the kitchen area. Zane had planted himself on the other side of the bar countertop, putting himself more in front of the double glass doors that led out to a patio. It also meant there was something between them.
Space was paramount right now. The closer to Pavel he was, the more he feared the other man somehow could hear the wild beating of his heart.
“My dad,” the other Retinue member replied as he finished off a salad and set it to the side. He had fish steaks frying in a pan and moved to season them as he continued. “He does all the cooking at my parent's house. Mom hates to cook.”
“She’s a doctor, right?”
