Zane’s arms dropped to his sides, but he didn’t know what to say to that.
“We were two orphans who’d been discarded and abandoned by our parents, people who hadn’t even the decency to leave us with last names. Maybe they’d feared we’d try to findthem one day, who knows, either way, it sucked for us. Most of the other kids had two names, which was something that always pissed you off. I’d catch you crying over it more than once.”
“I…” had no recollection of that whatsoever. But it didn’t exactly sound made up. Zane’s abandonment issues were bad now as an adult, he could imagine how complicated things had been for him as a child, without the proper tools to work through those big emotions.
“One night, after a new kid arrived and you slunk off to cry alone yet again, I found you and suggested we give ourselves our own last names.” Pavel slipped his hands into his front pockets. “Hart, because that’s what we’d been missing. No one to love us. No one to care. Hart, because we swore we’d be each other’s. You’re the one who demanded we have the same one. You wanted us to match because we were a family.”
There was that word again. Family. The one thing Zane had never really had. The one thing he’d given up hope of having. To him, the Retinue was his family. It was the closest thing he was ever going to get to one.
“We’ll be a family again,” Pavel said then, taking a step into the room. “I’ll tie you to me and make you mine on paper. No one will be able to part us then, not the Solaces, not even Lyra Diar. You’ll be mine, Zane, all mine, and I promise I’ll never let anyone take you from me again. Doesn’t that sound nice? Doesn’t it soundright? We were always meant to be, you and I.”
He didn’t know why he did it, but when Pavel took another step closer, Zane moved back. There was no reason for him to retreat, and yet he couldn’t help it. This shouldn’t be an overload of information—spurred on by a single child’s drawing—but he was suddenly incredibly overwhelmed.
“Sit down, gorgeous,” Pavel suggested.
Zane shook his head, receiving another sigh of annoyance.
“Stubborn to the last. Why bother? As much as I enjoy it when you fight me for dominance, there’s no use fighting for this. There was never any choice here, Zane. You’ve belonged to me practically all of your life. Eventually, I was going to come collect, your brother just sped up my timetable, that’s all.”
He pursed his lips, trying to come up with some kind of witty retort, but found himself unable.
“We aren’t leaving this island until you’ve come to terms with your future at my side,” Pavel continued when Zane remained silent. “I’ll be fully transparent with you, I’ll do everything I can to get you to submit. Whether that’s bending you until you break, starving you until you’re begging for affection, or ruining any chance you have of keeping that shiny reputation outside of this, I will do it all. Without hesitation or remorse. I’m tired of waiting, gorgeous. I’m tired of standing on the outside on my own.Youleftme. Now it’s time to pay the price.”
“I didn’t,” the denial slipped off his lips in a hushed whisper, but the other man heard loud and clear.
Pavel snorted. “You didn’t so much as glance back as that thieving family drove off with you. And don’t you dare play the amnesia card. You forgot me, but you didn’t forget your favorite drink.”
The Doc & Bro bottles.
“You knew. That’s why you’ve been leaving them for me.” Zane should have pieced that together after discovering they’d known one another as kids, but he hadn’t.
“I bought the company and opened a branch on Vitality specifically for you,” he said. “I thought you’d maybe try it and like it as much as you used to. Imagine my surprise when you looked at the bottle with familiarity. I almost came over and demanded answers. Thought for a brief moment that the amnesia was all a lie to avoid me.”
“It isn’t.”
“I know, gorgeous,” he reassured. “Sit down, hmm?”
Zane risked tearing his gaze off the other man, catching sight of the desk chair a few feet away. Going to it would put him in a vulnerable position, a spot easy for Pavel to corner him, but…He should sit. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re panicking,” Pavel informed him and then shrugged a single shoulder when his brow furrowed. “Just a little. It’s nothing to worry about, you’ll be fine.”
He didn’tfeelfine.
Giving in, he moved to the chair and lowered into it, placing the drawing on the desk. His eyes narrowed when almost immediately, Pavel started forward once more, spine stiffening when he did exactly what Zane had feared and stepped into the open space leading to the desk.
“Back off,” Zane growled, not even caring that he sounded like a frightened animal.
“Where’d all that bravado from earlier go?” he questioned, not listening at all as he settled into that space, effectively blocking the exit. “It’s time you get used to having me around.”
“You’ve stalked me for weeks,” Zane reminded. “I’m used to you being there already.”
More than used to it. This past month, Zane had found himself searching for the other man every time he’d stepped from the Little Palace. Even knowing Pavel had his own life, classes, and work at the club—reasons for not being able to always be around twenty-four-seven—whenever he’d felt that absence, it’d cut like the edge of a star crystal blade.
He was the one who’d set the terms for their last game, the one who’d demanded time apart, and yet all it’d taken were a handful of weeks for him to come to the conclusion that he was becoming codependent.
Every time he’d caught sight of Pavel chatting or laughing with someone else on campus, he’d seethed. Even if it was the guy’s brother. Zane had hated it. It’d taken all of his willpower not to storm over each and every time and yank Pavel away from whoever he was with by the scruff of his neck.
He wasn’t sure if hewantedto be with Pavel forever.
