“I’ve got to get ready for class. You should skip today and get some rest.” He waited until Ani waved him off, giving him the all clear to leave them alone, and then headed out of the living room and up the stairs.
Gently, Aneski removed Gannon’s arm and slid further down the couch so there was more distance between them. “I appreciate you, you know that,” he began. “And you’re always going to be one of my best friends, but we’ve been through this before. I just don’t see you that way, Gan. I’m sorry.”
He’d confessed his feelings a little over a month ago while out at the club, and Ani had explained then and there that he didn’t reciprocate. Things had seemed all right for a little while, but then the passive-aggressive remarks had started, and even Rex had caught on.
“I get that you’re upset—”
“I’m not,” Gannon cut him off with a chuckle. “You can’t force feelings, I get that. But is it so wrong if I wait? Maybe—”
“It won’t,” Ani insisted. “It won’t happen. I won’t ever develop romantic feelings for you. I really am sorry, but that’s the truth.” He wished he could, though. Wished he’d fallen for someone like Gan, someone who stuck by him and didn’t leave without a word.
“Seriously?” Gannon didn’t say it cruelly, but it was clear he was hurt. “This is because of him, isn’t it? Maybe he didn’t kill Russ, who knows. That doesn’t erase all the other bullshit he did do to you. When you were crying your eyes out where the hell was he? I was the one who held onto you, who listened, who visited the gravesite with you day in and day out for an entire year.”
“You’re right, but that’s not how this works.” Aneski shot to his feet when Gannon stormed out. “Hey! Wait! Gan, don’t be like this!”
His friend stomped upstairs and the sound of his bedroom door swinging open echoed down, but he wasn’t gone long enough for Aneski to come to a decision over whether or not he should bother following. A moment later, he returned, a bundle of old-fashioned paper letters tied together with a shoelace clutched in his hand.
He came to a stop beneath the entrance to the living room and tossed them at Ani, who caught them against his chest with a frown.
“He’s never going to be with you,” Gannon said. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Aneski. Well,” he swore and motioned to the bundle. “That…That was wrong, but right now, this, what I’m saying here in this moment is me trying to be the friend you need. Flix is never going to want you the way you want him. The way I want you.”
“What are these?” Ani held up the envelopes, noticing the one on top was addressed to him at his old apartment. The paper was slightly yellowed and there was no return address, but when he thumbed through them, it was to find every single one had his name on it. “I’ve never seen these before…”
“I took them,” he confessed.
He wasn’t sure how to react or feel, so he merely stared for half a beat before managing to ask, “Why would you do that?”
“It was for your own good,” he insisted. “You would have gone running to him and fallen for his lies.”
“Him?” Ani looked back to the envelopes. “Are you saying these are from Flix?”
“I caught him dropping the first one off early one morning. It was that night you sobbed so hard you threw upall over yourself, do you remember? We both know you weren’t crying like that just because of Russ.”
Ani flinched.
Russ and he had never been all that close. It was a horrible thing to think now that he was dead, but it was the truth. His older brother had almost never had time for him, either too busy studying, working, or partying with friends. He’d initially refused Ani’s request to join the Shepards, and it wasn’t out of brotherly love or not wanting him to get involved in anything dangerous.
Russ simply hadn’t wanted him around. He’d been pretty upfront about that fact.
The only reason the two of them stuck together was because they were the only thing they had left from their previous life when their dad had been alive. He’d been the glue that held them all together. Back then, Russ and Aneski had actually been sort of close. It’d changed once he’d died, and a part of Ani had always understood that was due to resentment and anxiety.
Overnight, Russ had been forced into a parental role for his kid brother, forced to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads.
Forced to reevaluate his future.
It made sense, and because of that, Ani had tried to keep his head down. Tried to follow his brother’s rules and give him space and not cause any trouble. He’d pretty much been a ghost right up until the day Flix Fulmini had followed Russ home.
A spark had lit off inside of him the moment Flix had set his electric blue eyes his way. The second he spoke to him and acknowledged his existence. Aside from Rexton and Gannon, no one ever bothered with Ani, especially not his brother’s friends. But Flix had been different. Flix had taken him out to breakfast and bought him new clothes when he noticed they all had holesin them. He’d tutored Ani in math when he’d come home with another C+ that had set Russ off.
Aneski’s life was a series of major changes, forming different versions of himself. With each change, it seemed as though the very universe altered right along with him.
His mother’s car accident.
Meeting Flix.
Russ’s death.
Flix icing him out.
