“You’re like a brother to me,” Rex reminded. “If you’re in pain, I’m in pain, and ever since Russ’s death, you haven’t been the same. Maybe answers will finally give you the closure that you need and you can stop being,” he waved at him, “this depressed and angry all the time. I had to help you. Plus, we both know there was nothing I was going to be able to say or do that could convince you not to go through with this.”
Especially not after Rex had discovered there was more to his reasoning to wanting to take over the Shepards. He’d known all about how badly Ani wanted to take back the gang his brother helped create, sort of as an honor to Russ’s name, but he hadn’t known about the other part of Ani’s plan. A plan he’d needed serious resources to pull off, ones that the leader of the Shepards could control.
The hideout in the woods where they were currently keeping Flix was purchased property by their original leader, Haroon. It’d transferred automatically to his successor, which was Aneski, and was the perfect place to serve their purposes.
The hideout was secluded and off the beaten path, not the type of place anyone would randomly stumble upon. SinceAneski was in charge of the gang, he’d also made it off-limits, so there was extra safety in knowing none of the other members would dare appear there either. There was always the chance that Flix’s friends would realize something was off and come looking, and if that happened, they needed a place that also didn’t have any accompanying paperwork that could be found and linked back to them.
“You’re punishing him,” Rex said a moment later, clearly frustrated by the lack of progress he was making in this conversation. “That’s what all the sex stuff is about, Aneski.”
He clenched his fists at his sides and, like with earlier, didn’t bother denying this either. “My brother cared for that asshole.”
“Youcared for him.”
“Yeah,” he practically growled. “I did, because I was also an idiot who didn’t know any better.”
When he’d been seventeen, he’d come home from school. It’d been like every other day until it wasn’t, with him heading down the long, narrow hall of their tiny two-bedroom apartment. Only, a sound had caught his attention, and he’d paused at his brother’s room. The door had been ajar, and when he’d glanced inside, it was to find Russ getting plowed by a blond.
Aneski hadn’t been able to see Flix’s face since they’d been facing the opposite direction, had only gotten a glimpse of his hair and a look at his back before he’d darted away, embarrassed for all three of them.
But he’d known it was Flix with Russ, because who else could it have been? Back then, his brother was always bringing the Brumal member around, even though the two of them were technically enemies now that Russ had helped Haroon form the Shepards. They’d met when they were kids, even though Ani couldn’t recall, before Flix had moved away, and both attendedVail University. Upon meeting again, they’d hit it off or some such nonsense—that was how Russ had explained it, anyway.
He and Flix were friends.
Aneski had always gotten the sense there was more to it since Flix was always going above and beyond what a simple friend would, and after catching them in the act, it was only proven.
“He was sleeping with your brother, and you wished it was your bed he was lying in,” Rex said. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You couldn’t have him then, so you’re taking him now?”
Wrong. He’d had him.
Once.
Just once.
And that one time was sewn into his psyche, the stitching constantly pulling and tugging at him painfully, making it impossible for him to move on or forget.
“This is about forcing him to tell us what he knows,” he corrected.
“Sure, that too,” he agreed, and it sounded like he believed him this time. “But you still want him. Admit it.”
“You’re making it sound like this is completely selfish. Like I don’t care about Russ at all, and he’s just an excuse to—”
“Be with Flix?”
“That’s not what’s going on.” Being with someone and using them weren’t the same. “I want him to feel the way I feel.” Aneski almost kicked the stool again. “The way I’ve been feeling for years now, all thanks to him.”
“And how's that?”
“Helpless,” he muttered, hating having to do so, even though it was only to Rex.
Three years ago, his brother was a senior about to graduate from university. The Shepards had just made somemoney and were starting to establish themselves in the city, and Aneski had started his first year here at Guest Fine Arts.
He’d been in his final class of the day when the rumors going around campus had finally reached him. That was how he’d found out about the fight at the mall and the resulting fire.
About how at least three people had been rushed to the hospital and about how one was still missing on the scene.
Russ’s body had never been recovered, but the firefighters working the case had found bone fragments, and all of the witnesses who’d come forward had assured them Russ was the only one left inside that particular room where the fire had started. It had to be him.
Just like that, Aneski had lost the only surviving family he had left. It’s been horrible but tolerable only because he’d had faith that Flix would be there for him to lean on. But Flix had used him once and discarded him without a second glance. He’d turned his back on Ani as though all the time they’d spent together had been nothing. As thoughhewere nothing.
