Had he wasted the past three years trying to find answers for his brother? Yes.
Had reading those letters made him realize how foolish and wasteful of his time that had been? Also yes.
But more than that, those letters had reminded him of things he’d somehow pushed to the back of his mind after the funeral. Losing someone that suddenly was jarring, it’d struck a nerve. Ani wasn’t the only person on the planet to forget about the bad memories and only recall the good after the supposed death of a loved one.
Russ was gone and he’d convinced himself their relationship had been stronger than it actually was. The reality of the matter was that they hadn’t been very close at all. They’d tolerated each other on a good day and resented one another on the bad ones—and back then, there’d been more bad than good.
Aneski shouldn’t be surprised that Russ had chosen to leave him out of his plans to run from Haroon. Why would he have told him? They hardly spoke. Despite living in the same apartment for most of their lives, Ani had exchanged more pleasantries with Flix whenever he was visiting than he had with his own brother. That fact made him feel more foolish than anything.
How could he have believed for even a second that Russ had spent his time working and saving. and for Ani’s benefit? Yeah right. If he hadn’t been so distraught about his deadbrother, and then later depressed and feeling rejected over Flix, he most likely would have pieced the truth together sooner.
He’d yet to ask Flix directly, but there was no question now about where the money currently funding his time in this studio room came from.
Even when he’d pretended to no longer care, Flix had taken care of him.
Aneski straightened, twirling the sculpting knife in his hand as he inspected his progress. Yesterday, after packing up all his useful belongings, he’d come downstairs anticipating a stressful trip to Void Manor, only to end up at the mall instead.
They’d spent the better part of five hours there, and at first, Ani had insisted on checking out the shops he’d never be able to afford anything in. He’d figured it would irk Flix, or at the very least, that the Brumal member would call him on his bullshit, but he hadn’t. If there was something Ani showed even a remote interest in, Flix insisted he either try it on or buy it outright.
At one point, he’d made a joke about how his affection couldn’t be bought.
Flix had merely grinned at him, leaned in, and whispered if he were trying to buy him, he’d be using something other than coin to do it.
It hadn’t been the best innuendo Ani had ever heard, but he’d chuckled anyway.
They’d talked over dinner. Really talked. About how they wanted things to be between them, and about how Aneski desperately wanted to return to the university. Flix hadn’t fought him on that as much as he’d feared, seemingly willing to give him his freedom now that they’d put on that show at Concealed.
There were rules, for now, but they came from each of them. Flix’s were that Ani didn’t leave campus for any reason without telling him. He’d wait after class for the Brumal memberto pick him up and wouldn’t wander off with his friends or anyone else. Ani had agreed easily enough.
It wasn’t like there was anyone else he wanted to spend his time with anyway, not after years of pining over Flix, wishing they could be together.
Aneski had given Flix a similar set of guidelines, however, with a bit more leeway considering his position within the mafia. Flix had to text him if he was going anywhere—unless it was mafia work—and if he was going to be late picking him up, he had to let Ani know in advance and be fine with him finding a different ride home.
It probably sounded like a bit much to some, but it was rather tame, considering they’d both once held the other in chains locked in a room. These sets of rules gave them the peace of mind they both needed and what’s more, they trusted the other not to lie and break said rules.
Progress.
Ani’s only regret was he wished he’d known sooner that all it’d take was begging Flix to fuck him harder in front of an audience. He would have made the suggestion that day at Vail instead of stabbing himself and risking his life.
Lessoned learned.
The statue he’d been working on before when Flix had come here to retrieve him was tucked into the corner by the window, and the new piece he’d started this morning was already a third of the way completed.
Was it kind of cliché of him to be working on a sculpture of his boyfriend?
Yes
Was that going to stop him?
Apparently not.
He shook his head at himself and smoothed his thumb down the bridge of what was already identifiable as Flix’s nose.Right now, he was operating off of memory, but he’d already decided he’d ask to take photos once they were home later. He didn’t really need them to do this, but it was a good excuse for an impromptu photoshoot, and having a picture of the two of them together had always been something he’d dreamed of as a lovesick, idiotic teen.
“You look so professional,” a deep voice stated from within the doorway, breaking through Ani’s concentration.
“Bowser!” Aneski set his tool down on the table and went to greet him, pausing halfway there when he recalled he was covered in clay. “Hold on, let me wash this off. What are you doing back here? Are you visiting your aunt?”
Bowser had been one of the very few friends of Russ’s—other than Flix—who Ani had gotten along with. He hadn’t treated him the same way Flix had, but he’d been nice to him, especially during and after the funeral. The only time the two of them had argued had been when Ani had insisted on joining the Shepards, but Bowser hadn’t been able to stop him since he’d gone straight to Haroon.
