They’d already been inside for over fifteen minutes, but Port’s shoulders still noticeably quaked. His color was returning to normal, however, so that was a good sign.
“Yes, thank you.” Port kept his hands wrapped tightly around the white mug he’d been given. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Don’t be,” Nate said. “You can stay for as long as you want. I keep my sister’s room made just in case she ever needs to pop by for a night, so the bed’s made and the bathroom is stocked. If you’re missing anything, just let me know. I try to keep extras of the important stuff in the hallway closet.”
“Thanks,” he repeated. “I’ll leave immediately if Neve ends up coming home.”
“She won’t. She hasn’t stayed here for a while. She and her boyfriend are pretty happy together.” Since Nuri and Silver would be staying at a hotel, there wouldn’t be any reason for her to come back either. Thinking about it reminded him that he was running out of time before then. He cleared his throat, and Port must have taken that as a cue that he wasn’t as comfortable with this as he was claiming.
“I’m sorry I can’t give you an explanation,” Port dropped his gaze. “I don’t want to involve you any more than necessary.”
“It’s cool,” Nate reassured. “I get that, really.”
“Yeah,” the corner of his mouth turned up, “You’re the same way. You’re always looking out for others.”
He winced. “It’s not really as deep as you’re making it sound.”
“I suppose it wouldn’t be when being kind comes second nature to you.” Port smiled sadly. “I don’t know very much about kindness, honestly. We didn’t really have that when I was growing up. Your family though…They sound nice.”
“They are.” Before he’d sent them to live here, Nuri had done his best to pick up where their parents had left off. He’d wanted Nate and Neve to grow up into respectable adults. Whether or not he’d succeeded, at least where Nate was concerned, was yet to be decided, but at least Neve had surpassed both of their expectations. “My sister works at the hospital. She’s working on her residency now.”
“And your brother,” Port said. “He works for CEO Rein on Ignite, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Did I hear they’re also married?”
Nate bristled a bit. “Yes, but they’ve only recently gotten together. Nuri wasn’t hired because—”
“I’m not accusing him of anything,” Port stopped him. “Promise. Is he good to him?”
Nate frowned. “What?”
“Silver Rein. Does he treat your brother right? You said your sister is happy. What about Nuri? Is he happy too?”
“I…Yeah. He says he’s happy.”
“Why don’t you sound pleased about that?”
“No,” he shook his head, “I am.” He was. He just didn’t fully trust Silver. But then, he supposed he didn’t really have to.It wasn’t his life, as much as he wanted to protect his brother. Nuri was his own person who made his own choices. “He’s the oldest, so he can do what he wants.”
“You can do what you want too, Nate,” Port replied.
“Why are we talking about me?” Nate clapped his hands together awkwardly and then moved toward the entrance to the hallway, located between the kitchen and living areas. “Let me just double-check you’ve got everything you need in the bathroom. You look exhausted. You should get some sleep.”
It seemed like there was something else that Port wanted to say, but in the end, he merely sighed and gave a silent nod.
The house had been purchased by Nuri when they’d first moved here, and they’d stayed in it ever since. The title was in Nate’s name since Neve had been a kid at the time, and she’d shown no interest in changing things since. He kept things running smoothly in the communal areas and made repairs throughout the years as they became necessary, but ultimately left the majority of things the way they’d been when Nuri had bought the place.
It was his home, and yet, at the same time…It didn’t entirely feel like it. It was hard to explain. Nuri had picked and paid for it, and because of that Nate still felt a little bit like he was relying on his brother to get by, despite the fact that he’d taken over all of the utility payments as soon as he’d graduated from college. Nuri had fought him on it for a bit, but eventually, he’d worn him down. At the time, Nate had hoped putting that line between them would help with the intensifying feeling of not being good enough and being a leach.
It hadn’t, not really.
Nate still felt like he wasn’t good enough for the people in his life to rely on. To want to keep. Like, if he made one wrong move, he’d not only destroy his own world, but theirs all in one fell swoop. Oddly enough, the episodes he’d experiencewhenever it got really bad had seemed to lessen over the past couple of weeks, however…
The only change he could think of was losing his job. Maybe leaving Quartet Air was for the best. He was certainly happier not having to always have his guard up around clients like Mit and shitty bosses like Sier.
The stress he’d undergone on the daily had certainly exacerbated his poor mental health. He’d been afraid to, but perhaps he should have quit sooner. So far, the walls hadn’t come crumbling down around him—neither of his siblings had called to chew him a new one or ask how work was going, so that was something—and he was managing to keep the lights on. Now that he’d gotten the job at the Velvet Brew, that was going to be a lot easier.
