“Nate,” Nuri waited until he lifted his face and met his gaze, “I don’t have any right to judge you or who you choose to be with. Did you judge me when I told you I was dating Silver?”
“I mean,” he shrugged, “yeah, a little, remember?”
“Okay,” he sighed. “So I do think it’s risky being with someone who is in the mafia, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s your life and your decision to make. I don’t get to look down on you for living however you see fit. Neither does Neve, or anyone else, for that matter.”
It was spoken so simply, but Nate struggled to comprehend what he was hearing anyway. A closer look at his brother told him that everything Nuri had just said was the truth, that he meant it, but those negative voices in his head started whispering like they usually did.
“Really?” He licked his lips. “Aren’t you disappointed? You raised me and made all these sacrifices, and now I’m unemployed and dating a Devil of Vitality.”
“You’re unemployed?”
He let out an awkward, humorless laugh. “Whoops. Don’t worry though! I’ve got that figured out already.” He left out how he was seriously considering Kaz’s offer to go back to Quartet Air and help him run the place. It was probably best to take one step at a time here. His brother seemed like he was okay with it, but… “This is a big deal.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Nuri replied. “You dating anyone is a big deal.”
“Are you…Really okay with it?”
“Brother,” he took hold of his face and squished his cheeks like he used to when they were kids, ignoring Nate’s squirms, “Yes.”
Nate got free and pushed his hands away.
“You’re your own person, Nate,” Nuri said once he was done laughing. “And for the record, I didn’t really do all that much for you. If anything, I should be the one turning to you asking if you’re disappointed in me.”
“What?” Nate frowned. “Why? Why would I ever be?”
“I shipped you off to a foreign planet and made you raise our sister alone,” he pointed out. “Anyone would be bitter in that position.”
He shook his head. “I’ve never once been bitter, I know you only did that because it’s what you thought was best for us. I know if you’d had the chance, you would have moved here with us. It just wasn’t possible. I’ve never blamed you for how we’ve lived, Nuri. Not ever.”
“No?” he didn’t sound convinced, and for the first time, Nate realized maybe he wasn’t the only one who’d felt like he couldn’t live up to his family’s expectations.
“Hey,” he clapped a hand on Nuri’s shoulder, “I love you. You’ve been the best big brother anyone could ever ask for. Don’t doubt that for a second.”
“Ditto,” Nuri said. “You raised Neve all on your own. The way you look up to me? That’s how she looks at you, Nate. You could never disappoint us. As long as you’re happy, that’s all we’ve ever cared about.”
He felt tears threaten and forced them back. There was no way Nate was going to embarrass himself by crying.
“Kaz makes me happy,” he said instead. “Surprisingly so.”
“That’s great.” Nuri smiled at him, and it was easy to tell this time that it was genuine, none of those negative voices clamoring for attention in Nate’s mind now.
Later, he’d ponder over that and where they’d gone, but his focus was on making sure they both got the closure they so clearly needed. If he’d known his brother also felt a similar way, that he’d been carrying that same weight, wondering if Nate resented him for his choices, he would have sucked it up and broached the subject sooner.
“Just remember,” Nuri added. “If he ever does anything you don’t want, you have me and Silver in your corner. Even if you don’t like him very much, Silver view you as his brother now. He’ll protect you.”
“I know.” Weirdly, he did, despite the threats made against him before. On some level, Nate had always understood Silver was only trying to protect Nuri, and that he’d do anything to ensure that.
Kind of like how Kazimir would do anything to keep Nate safe as well.
He’d risked starting a war for him—twice.
“We should go then,” Nuri said then, smiling when that caught Nate off guard. “What? It seems like the two of you were in the middle of something. It was rude of us to show up unannounced. We’ve got our hotel room booked already and it’s almost check-in time anyway.”
“Are you sure?” Nate asked. “You can stay.”
“No, it’s fine.” He waved him off. “We’ll see each other soon. How about lunch tomorrow? With Neve?”
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
