“You suffer from emotional dysregulation,” Sila said. “Parts of your prefrontal cortex shuts off during moments of intense stress and you’re forced into a prolonged state of flight or fight mode, which typically for you means you either want to bash someone’s face in or run. Kind of fun that you did both today with the Imperial. My point is, you don’t have what it takes to become a serial killer, brother. In fact, it’s insulting to regular people who have mood disorders to assume that you would.”
Rin heaved a sigh. “Stop acting like a med student with me. Why do we have to put a label on it at all?” What difference did it make? At the end of the day they were who they were no matter what name they went by or which of them felt more than the other.
Sila cocked his head. “You’re the one who first diagnosed me with psychopathic tendencies.”
“Right. It’s my fault. Everything is.”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“I’m not!” He was. Rin crossed his arms, then to lighten the mood again said, “Hey. Do you really believe you’re not bad?”
“Oh, I meant you,” Sila stated without hesitation. “I’m a fucking monster.” As if to prove it he grinned, the expression drawing attention to his sharp gaze and the slightly chaotic twist of his full lips.
“Devil,” Rin corrected, glancing away. Not because it was hard to look at his brother when he was showing his true colors. But because it wasn’t. He was starting to think he’d gotten a little too used to dealing with both psychopaths and sociopaths. Wasn’t that why he’d miscalculated and foolishly believed he could handle Kelevra? “This is Vitality. If the shoe fits.”
Sila considered it. “I like it.”
“And this planet?” Rin didn’t want to, but he brought the conversation back around to that. “You like it too? That much? Enough to stay?”
“It’s only a consideration,” Sila corrected. “We have three years left before graduation. I’m only suggesting we keep an open mind. Let’s not force ourselves onto a predetermined path. Isn’t that what we’re trying to escape from in the first place?”
“Is it?” Rin clicked his tongue. “And here I was thinking we were trying to escape from Crate Varun and his abuse.”
Sila huffed. “That guy has a personality disorder.”
“Yeah, it’s called being a massive dick.”
There wasn’t anything medically wrong with their father, as far as they knew. He was just an asshole. On Tibera, relationships weren’t really a thing, so they’d never had a mother. If their dad wanted some, he went out for a night and came home in the early hours of the morning, same as most other people on the planet.
Sex was an exchange, a way to relieve stress. Something without strings.
His upbringing with that understanding, and having heard Kelevra slept around, had given him a false sense of comfort that night at the penthouse.
Rin’s emblem lit up and he groaned, flicking the device open to check the new message. He swore when he saw it was from Kelevra, taping to open it and turning so his brother could read it at the same time.
Kelevra:Come to this address. It’s time to get to know your betrothed.
“Hell no,” Rin shook his head. “The last time he sent a message like this I got—”
“Fucked,” Sila finished.
He glared. “Drugged.”
His brother scoffed. “Are you still pretending you didn’t like that?”
“I didn’t,” Rin snapped.
“Brother, I mean this in the nicest way, you get off when someone else—who isn’t our father—takes control from you. That’s nothing to be ashamed about.”
“Coming from the guy who can’t feel shame,” this time he was telling the truth, “that doesn’t mean all that much.”
“Is it a shitty feeling?” Sila asked. “I read it was.”
“It pretty much sucks, yeah.”
“Wouldn’t you prefer to just accept it then? Wouldn’t that make the shame go away?”
“It’s not that easy.” Rin’s device went off again, putting an end to what was most likely about to be another exhausting argument about really nothing.
