Sila nodded but made no further argument in his defense. He was like that. He probably hadn’t really cared in the first place, only going along with the motions to help Rin settle his tumultuous nerves.
Rin was antsy, and he hated being antsy. It made keeping his cool on the outside all the more difficult. The seashell in his pocket had gotten as much action as he had last night; his thumb rubbing circles against the smooth mother-of-pearl surface ever since he’d stepped out of his car. He’d brought it from home, from Tibera, the small shell the only item he owned that he never traded off to his brother.
Sila had a grounder as well, a tool they used to help them regulate and calm their minds and emotions. A typical Tiberan thing that they’d been taught from a young age.
Tiberan’s were known for being calculative and aloof, perfect for debates and arguments because they very rarely lost their cool. It wasn’t because they didn’t feel negative emotions like frustration or anger, quite the opposite. They felt them three times stronger than most other species, in fact. But they also filtered through those emotions faster, processing them and coming to grips with them, allowing them to move on to the next.
Except for Rin, who struggled to let go. When he was angry about something, he could carry that shit with him fordays.
“Do you have any updates for me?” he asked, ready to move on from all of this after all. The sex had been phenomenal, and as messed up and twisted as it was, Rin was starting to realize he was actually a little bit glad he’d been drugged and coerced into it. If he’d been propositioned properly by the Imperial Prince, he would have had to turn him down even though Rin was attracted to him. Involvement with someone in that high of a position was just too risky.
At least this way he’d gotten to sleep with the man and walk away without any strings attached. Though there was nothing Rin could do against Kelevra, maybe Kel would give him a wide berth all on his own afterward. He doubted the guy had any semblance of a conscience, all things considered, but he probably wouldn’t want to deal with Rin accusing him of taking advantage either.
“Rabbit Trace’s music is very good,” Sila said.
Rin stiffened. “Don’t.”
“It’s good,” Sila repeated, “that’s all I mean.”
Rabbit was a musical genius who attended the same school as Sila. He was a bit off-putting and reserved, but underneath that was a loneliness Rin understood all too well.
“He’s hiding behind a mask,” Rin said to his brother. “We know what that’s like.”
Sila nodded, still busily at work with his experiment. “He’s safe from me.”
Rin frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m hardly the only devil on this planet, brother. You should know, you had one pounding—”
Rin threw up a hand and grimaced. “Enough.” He straightened from the edge of the desk he’d been leaning on. “I need to go take a shower.”
“Would you like to have lunch first? I’m going to be eating in the East Quad today. The weather is nice.” Sila didn’t give two shits about the weather, which meant he had other reasons for it.
But like before, Rin didn’t ask.
It was hard enough for the two of them to be themselves in this universe without getting pressure from each other. They kept one another from stepping out of line. Kept them safe. But they also didn’t lock each other out. Sila would tell him if there was anything he needed to know, the same way Rin had rushed over here to warn him about the unwarranted attention from the Imperial Prince. Plain and simple.
“Nah,” Rin picked at his shirt and sniffed. It smelled like Kelevra’s room, expensive perfume and a hint of something powdery and floral. “I’ve got to shower before anything else.”
“Still feel him inside you, huh?” Sila asked.
“Don’t be gross.”
“Do you think—”
“I think,” Rin’s voice firmed in warning, “I just told you not to be gross, brother.”
He could tell by the look that had washed over Sila’s face whatever he’d been about to ask would definitely fall under that category as well. Sometimes he got this far away, almost crazy glint in his eyes, eyes so like Rin’s and yet…different. He could fake it, of course, but when it was just the two of them alone like this, neither of them bothered with the masks, and the blankness in his brother’s eyes went unchecked.
“One day I’m going to have someone more fun to play with,” Sila stood and stretched his arms over his head, “and then you’ll wish I included you.”
“Probably not,” Rin snorted.
Sila tipped his head. “Probably not.”
“I’ll see you at the apartment on Friday?” Rin called when his brother went to leave.
In response, his brother held up a hand and then stepped out of the room.
