“Then what about your apology before? If you can’t feel—”
Kelevra’s scowl stopped him short. “Don’t compare yourself to a nobody. A girl I’ve never met before was murdered. Yes, yes, very sad. Maybe the killer had a good reason? Maybe he didn’t. Either way, she’s already dead, Flower. Getting upset about it won’t change anything.”
“What if she died because of us?” Rin asked. “To lure us out here?”
“You’re smarter than that. That’s guilt and empathy talking. If you think about it, logically there was no reason for this person to kill anyone. We were coming anyway since we thought it was organized by the Academy. If anything, it makes more sense that she’d done something specific to piss this person off, and they seized the opportunity and called us out here as well. If you’re going to end up with multiple bodies, might as well do it all in one bang. Makes the cleanup a lot easier.”
Rin blinked. “That’s…dark.”
Kelevra cocked his head. “I’m having a hard time telling if you’re actually upset or simply believe you should be. Which is it?”
He turned back to the spot where Nila’s body had been before they’d gone after the killer. They were assuming the person shooting at them was the same person who murdered her, seemed too coincidental to be otherwise, but he supposed there was no real way for them to know.
Rin didn’t enjoy learning about someone’s death, and he wouldn’t go so far as to say he was like Kel or his brother, completely and totally unaffected by it but…Nila had been a nice girl. He’d hardly known her, but they’d been introduced at the start of the semester and she’d been funny. As far as surface level went, she hadn’t deserved to die.
All that being said…
“I can feel things like compassion,” he explained. “I feel bad when I’ve done something wrong, or when my actions have harmed another person. Thinking about how her friends and family will feel when they find out is upsetting.”
“But?”
“I won’t lose any sleep over it.” That had nothing to do with Rin’s inability to regulate his emotions. It was just who he was. Years of living with his brother, protecting him, covering for him, understanding him, had helped make him this way, sure. But Rin didn’t really mind. Maybe that made him a selfish person. Maybe it made him a bad one.
Maybe he didn’t really care all that much one way or the other.
“You know I’ve killed before,” Kelevra said, and even though it wasn’t a question, Rin answered.
“I sort of figured, yeah.” He’d been meaning to ask about what Brennon had told him. Might as well now. “The girl who fell from the roof at the penthouse. Was that you?”
He snorted. “No. She got drunk and climbed up there like a fool. I wasn’t even outside at the time, so I had no idea. Apparently she turned too quickly and ended up slipping. There’s security footage that caught the whole thing and I allowed them to open an investigation to give her family closure.”
Not because he would have cared, but because it made things easier for him. Rin somehow gathered that on his own.
“I’m a Devil for a reason, Flower.”
“You’re also an Imperial Prince,” Rin pointed out. “Shouldn’t you be looking for someone who can help make you a better person or some shit like that? That isn’t me.”
Kelevra laughed. “Did I break you last night after all? Was it too much? Did you,” he waved a hand next to his head, “snap? You keep saying funny things today. No one can make anyone into a different person. That type of change has to come from within, and me? I like who I am just fine. I don’t have any interest in changing. So that I can, what? Waste time crying when a stranger gets a boo-boo?” He sneered. “Pass. Things with you are different. I may not be able tofeelremorse, but I don’t feel good about making you feel awful. Hurting you, really hurting you, was never my intention. That? I’m willing to work on that.”
“You are?”
“I’m a good communicator, Flower. You’ll always know exactly what I want exactly when I want it. I’m not shy. I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
“Let me guess,” Rin drawled. “When I want to know it?”
“You’re catching on. An over thinker like you needs someone who can properly communicate. Who can say this is how things are and this is how they’ll be, so don’t fret. I’ll work on my anger and make sure it’s not wrongfully directed at you next time. I’ve asked for everything, and so far all you’ve asked of me is trust, and you were right before. I didn’t give it to you. I thought I did, but clearly I hadn’t. I can fix that. I’ve got you. I’ve got us.”
“Us?” Rin had only ever been a part of oneusbefore. He’d never considered being a part of another one. That type of thing required a certain level of devotion that he wasn’t sure he could muster for anyone other than his brother, and even then, he and his brother were practically the same. All his life, loving his brother meant loving himself.
What would loving Kelevra Diar entail? Because you couldn’t be a part of something as serious as anuswithout love eventually becoming a leading factor.
“The Imperial Prince and his Royal Consort,” Kel said. “We’re a unit. Where I go, you go, and vice versa. Why do you look so conflicted? I’ve been transparent from the start. I told you before, I’m not Baikal. If I see something I want, I don’t waste time pining away or plotting. I simply take. I took you. You belong to me. But, Flower? I’m not opposed to belonging to you in return.”
“You thought I tried to kill you,” he reminded.
“I was angry,” he shrugged. “But I would have gotten over it.”
Rin gave him a droll stare.
