My eyes crinkle as I wave after her. “Thank you, Brenda.”
After cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, I sit on the floor in a daze. Despite the sudden relief of being free from my donor’s bond, I’ve never abhorred myself more. Being dependent on blood has ruined by fucking life, and I’m sick of feeling like a diseased monster.
My body wants what it can’t have, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Things with Joanna were already becoming complicated, but now…
Jo might have asked me to bite her during sex, but she never asked to be a donor. I can’t put that pressure on her when she continuously pushes me away. Who’s to say she’ll even speak to me again?
I’m not sure how long I have until blood loss poses a real problem, but the clock is ticking, and Jo’s decision to accept the bond is more important than ever. My life might very well depend on it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
AIDAN
Aweek passes in which I’ve managed to keep completely to myself. I slip into town late at night to work on anything that needs doing at Bones, but during the day, I remain at home. I don’t get lattes from Double Double. I don’t hang out with the guys. I just sit in the back of the movie theater, staring blankly at whatever is playing on the screen while other people eat popcorn and laugh around me.
I’m so certain about Joanna being my mate, I just don’t know how I’ll ever be able to convince her to accept it. Now that I’ve fully accepted the bond, my ache for her is more intense than ever. Being away from Jo feels like a slow, deliberate torture, and all she would need to do to release me from my misery is open her eyes and let go of her fears.
By the end of March, Jamie and Raegan can no longer stand the sight of my lifelessness and beg for me to join them at the Spring Art Festival.
I’ve gone days at a time without feeling the sunlight on my skin, so the warmth is almost too much, but it’s refreshing all the same. My eyes, however, are too sensitive from growing accustomed to the dim lamp lighting in my house, so I purchasea pair of green plastic sunglasses from one of the first booths we pass. They also help to hide the growing bags under my eyes.
Overall, I feel like shit.
My energy is low, seeing as I haven’t replenished my blood supply since I was with Jo. If I’d known that was going to be the last time I tasted her, I would have taken more. I’ve been tempted by the deer and raccoons that have shown up outside the house, but all I could think about was Jo. After turning Brenda away, I’ve had no other options, leaving me to slowly feel the effects of blood loss.
Similar to an organ transplant, my body desperately needs the borrowed blood, but over time, it also recognizes it as a foreign entity. Having a donor has helped my body adapt to receiving the same blood type, but by taking Joanna’s blood, my system is going haywire.
It wasn’t just my broken heart keeping me inside my house. Every cell in me is screaming for replenishment. That along with the deep, desperate craving I now have for my mate is making it more and more difficult to function.
It’s only the beginning of spring, but the clear sky and sun rays beating down on my back have me sweating and feeling feverish. My body temperature has never exceeded eighty degrees, but it wouldn’t be the only thing that’s changed since Joanna. The gray in my hair is far more noticeable, but neither Jamie nor Raegan have mentioned it.
Raegan’s smile wars between pity and interest. I know it’s because she’s dying to ask a million questions, but she must also feel sorry for me. For the two weeks I’ve hardly left the house, Jamie made sure to check in by texting daily. I’m sure he knew something was wrong, but I’m grateful for his decision to respect my privacy.
Today, however, there’s no more hiding. Raegan and Jamie drag me from booth to booth as they chat with all thetownspeople with wares. Kiki and Kendra have an entire collection of knitted ready-to-wear items. They present them to each person walking by as if they're straight off the runway.
Our new sheriff, Jamie’s uncle, Rhett, and the leader of the wolf pack, walks alongside Mayor Musthaven as he hovers over the cobblestones. They both spot us as Raegan is purchasing a bomber hat that Jamie teasingly placed on her head, covering her eyes. I can tell they’re trying to hold back from their normal amount of physical affection for my sake, but it only makes me feel worse.
“Miss Baker!” The mayor greets Raegan boisterously. “I never got to tell you how happy I was with the way you pulled off our first speed dating event!”
“Thank you, Mr. Mayor.” She beams and nods appreciatively just as Jamie mouths a silent“First?”
“I would’ve come to support you,” Rhett says, “But my Paloma would have my balls if I showed up to a singles night.” He winks at his nephew, and Jamie shakes his head with a smirk.
Then the sheriff’s gaze lands on me, one side of his mouth pulled tight. “You were there, right? Heard all about the lovely impression you made on Raegan’s friend, Joanna Shepherd.”
I’m caught in a spotlight of attention, frozen by four sets of eyes all trained on me, waiting for a reaction. I have nothing to say—nothing that will ease the tension or make anything I’ve experienced with Jo better. I know Rhett doesn’t mean anything by it, how could he? It’s just town gossip, poking fun. But that little prod feels like a knife sliding between my ribs.
It’s Raegan who finally speaks up, saving me from any further torture.
“You know,” she starts, aiming her next statement at the Mayor, “given how well that event turned out, I thought it might be a good idea to put a committee together, to plan similarevents in the future.” As if just realizing she’s still wearing the funny hat, she yanks it from her head. “And I could lead it.”
Musthaven’s ghostly eyes brighten, and suddenly his feet turn solid, landing squarely on the ground. He reaches out his hand to take hers, and Raegan accepts.
“That would be wonderful,” he says, shaking Raegan’s tiny hand with gusto. “Reach out to my secretary, and she’ll set up a meeting. I’ve got loads of ideas for the summer. Picnics, fireworks.” He lets go and pats Rhett on the back. “How does a pie-eating contest sound to you? I bet Paloma’s got another award-winning recipe in her arsenal.”
Raegan confirms she’ll follow up, and as Rhett and Musthaven walk away, Jamie’s loud scoff sounds from behind us. “Has he always been able to do that?”
