I learned a long time ago how to be in close proximity to humans and not let the smell of blood drive me insane. I don’t quite understand it, but tonight, the scent of her adrenaline pulsing through her veins must have intensified her pheromones enough to send me into a reflexive spiral. I needed to touch her, to get close enough to meld my own scent with hers. And worst of all, the inner, most innate part of me wanted to bite into her flesh so I could taste her blood.
I haven’t lost control of my desires like that in a very long time, and it only adds to my unease. I start to panic as I retrieve my pants from the chair, redressing as Joanna stares at me confused.
“I guess that’s my cue to leave,” she says under her breath. She too gathers up her things (my things, if we’re being specific) and gets to her feet.
I know I’m upsetting her, but right now I just need her out of my house. I need to think, and having her here is clearly a distraction.
She hastily puts my borrowed sweatpants back on, using my discarded shirt to wipe my cum from her chest. I don’t meet her eyes, feeling extremely awkward, embarrassed, and a little bit regretful. It’s easier this way. Maybe my coldness will convince her this will never happen again. It was a lapse in judgement on both our parts, and though the hurt look on her face makes my chest tighten, I am willing to take the blame if it means getting her out of here quickly.
My thoughts are abruptly silenced when the door slams behind her retreating form.
I walk back to my sitting room and search for another glass to pour myself a new drink. The one time I go out of my way to be a decent male, I get myself into this mess. I dwell on this as I take a seat in my favorite chair with a fresh glass of whiskey.
I’m not ashamed to admit, the way this woman was able to disarm me was terrifying. As much as I hate it, something in her blood sang to me. It smelled like fresh fruit and melted sugar—like those damn chocolate covered strawberries she was eating earlier today.
My attraction to her is undeniable. She’s a gorgeous woman. Her body is slender, yet toned. She looks like a model, but the work she does has hardened her, giving her sharp edges. I’m afraid I’ll cut myself if I get too close, but she’s alluring, like a shiny new toy.
It’s a terrible idea, given the way her blood seemed to affect me, but I want to play with her more. She pushes me in a way no one else has—meets me eye to eye with every sarcastic line I give, squaring me with an even stronger one of her own. She’s vivacious, mysterious, and…
No!
I massage my forehead in an attempt to deter a headache. I will not let a human take over my mind like a soothsayer. I haven’t thought this much about a woman in decades.It has to be her blood. That’s it.
This day has been taxing. As skeptical as I was to participate in Raegan’s speed dating event, I’m glad I did it. Now I know, without a doubt, nothing will ever happen between Joanna and I again. I was right when I told her we wouldn’t work together. I can’t risk making myself vulnerable to her wiles again. I am a vampire, and knowing my own boundaries is imperative to the safety of those around me. I’ve made a home here in Shadow Hills—I've grown to love it with all its charm and community—I will not risk it for a human woman who annoys the shit out of me.
I finish my drink and force myself to go to bed.
Tomorrow is a new day. I will move on from this just as I have moved on from so many other mistakes in my life, some far heavier and harder than others. But this will be easy. Forgetting about Joanna Shepherd might even be the easiest of them all.
Chapter Seven
JOANNA
It’s been almost a week since my one night stand with Aidan, and for the life of me, I can’t get that goddamn vampire out of my head. My rage—and my lust, to be honest—has been burning hot from the moment I walked out his front door. Why oh why did I experience the best sex of my life only to realize the guy is an absolute dick?
Really, I should have known better. There’s a reason we’ve never gotten along. Why did I think our dynamic would change in the bedroom?
Ugh.
Every hour of the day is a nonstop cycle of working on whatever I need to get done on the farm, followed by my mind wandering to images of Aidan between my legs, catching myself thinking about Aidan between my legs, and then scolding myself about it.
Then the cycle repeats.
But not before I remember the complete lack of decency he showed as he practically ignored me afterwards. Not as much as a glance as I got dressed, and I was forced to walk-of-shame myself out, only to nearly trip over my keys. Which were lyingright beside my car. I felt like a cheap hooker with a vision problem, but maybe that’s what he wanted.
That was afterwards, though. During—the way he looked at me, touched me—we were so in tune with one another. I’ve never experienced sex like that. Even though he treated me like trash afterward, I can’t stop thinking aboutthe during.
Even worse, I think I would do it again.
On Thursday morning, my dog acts as my alarm by thumping her tail on the pillow beside my head (thus, why I name her Thumper). I roll out of my comfy quilts and slide my feet into a pair of Crocs without opening my eyes while my little dachshund-mix runs down her ramp and zooms to the kitchen. It’s five thirty in the morning, and that means potty time.
As I open the door to let her out into the dewy grass, it feels momentarily like an average morning. Then I remember what day it is.
I’m not one to make a big deal out of my birthday. Friends’ birthdays? Totally different story. I love making others feel special on their special day. But me? I’m just reminded of how old I’m getting, and that I’m still alone.
I’ve tried to play it off as if it’s all the men out there that are toxic and can’t commit. Women like Raegan just happened to luck out and find one of the handful of ones who aren’t. But now that I’m thirty-five, I think I can finally look at myself in the mirror like Taylor Swift and admit it’s really me that’s the problem. I might act like I want a serious relationship, but secretly, I’ve never been able to handle something like that emotionally. I’m way too closed off.
Over the past few years I’ve learned to accept it, but now that Raegan and Jamie are so cozy and comfortable in their new relationship, it’s bringing up some old wounds and insecurities.
