She swallows, and I watch the muscles of her throat work. My imagination runs wild, but I reel it back in.
“I want to go further,” she says with determination.
With her half naked in front of me, still smelling like sex, I’m finding it really hard to remember why we can’t.
I cup her cheek and pull her flush against my chest, wrapping my other arm around her waist. “I want to have sex with you, Rae. I really do. But there are things you need to know before we do.”
Her breath blows softly against my cheek as she asks, “What things?”
I guess we’re having this conversation now.
I have to force myself to think clearly. Because right now her arousal is clouding the air and frying my wolfy brain cells. My human ones, too.
I take a deep breath, then guide us back to the couch, only this time I sit beside her. She grabs one of the pillows and hugs it, preparing for whatever I have to say.
“If we were to have sex, that would mean you’ve officially accepted the mate bond. It’s a physical way of sealing the deal, so to speak, but there are certain things that happen the first time we do it.”
Raegan is looking at me quizzically. I can tell she’s interested in learning more, but she’s also a little scared. “Do you have to bite me or something?”
“No. That’s vampires.” I laugh, then gather my next words carefully. “That pull between us, it feels like a rope connecting us together, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, having sex would…tie a knot.”
She scrunches her nose. “Like getting married?”
“No.” My face now feels like it’s on fire. “It’s more of a literal knot than a metaphorical one.”
Based on the look on her face, she has no clue what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to explain it any better with my hormones and wolfish instincts all jumbled together.
I rub my temples. “Jesus, I can barely think straight with you sitting here like that, your taste still on my tongue.” I close my eyes to hide what is most definitely a smirk from Raegan, take a deep breath, and continue, “All you need to know right now is that having sex means the bond is permanent.” The tension in my skull eases, so I place a hand on her thigh. “I just want you to be a thousand percent certain that’s what you want before that happens. Alright?”
I watch as her tense posture finally loosens. “I understand,” she finally says. “Thank you.”
Happy with where this difficult conversation has ended, I pull her to me and she falls lazily against my chest. We sit in the quiet for a long time, but I can only stand being this close to her for so long.
“Okay, you need to take a shower.”
She jerks her head up and gives me a death glare. “That’s rude.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry. I just can’t sit here and smell you like this anymore. You’re too enticing.”
Her eyes dip with guilt, so I smack her on the butt playfully and she squeals.
“Come on. Let’s get ready for bed.”
We get up from the couch, but she pauses before reaching the stairs. Her voice is quiet when she says, “I don’t want to sleep in my room.”
So we head upstairs to my bedroom, and after we’re settled, I fall asleep to the idea of calling it ours.
Chapter Thirty
RAEGAN
Going back to the bookstore on Monday morning feels like going back to school after being out for a long break. Typically, I would be excited to see my friends and catch up with various members of town, but I find myself wishing I could stay at home with Jamie in the little bubble we’ve made.
Exploring the way our bodies work together and crave one another has been equally fascinating and exhilarating. I’ve found it’s very easy to lose myself memorizing the lines of every muscle and tracing every inch of his skin. Besides the occasional need for food and water, I think I’d be perfectly fine never leaving the bed.
