But as soon as I see her familiar smile, I lose any care in the world. Right now, I just want to get past the door that’s blocking me from her warm embrace.
She must have the same inclination, because as soon as she unlocks the latch and turns the handle, she’s jumping into my arms. I’m overwhelmed with the smell of coconut in her hair and the sweet, vanilla-like scent of her bare skin. It’s not lotion or perfume, just her natural smell, and it makes me think she’d taste just as sweet if I ever got the chance to find out.
As I bury my face into her neck, I have to fight the urge to taste her right here, but we aren’t there yet. Though we’ve taken a step toward the place we both know we’re headed, it doesn’t mean she’s ready to start running. I know Raegan feels the same pull that I do, but I doubt she fully understands. Though it feels like I’ve been waiting for years, I have to take my time with her.
If I mess this up, our friendship will never recover.
Raegan pulls back to look me in the face as she runs her hands over my damp clothes. Her touch triggers a shiver to race down my spine, but I pointedly ignore it.
“You’re soaked,” she says. She ushers me across the threshold, into the house, and all the way up the stairs to my en suite bathroom. “Go ahead and take a warm shower, and I’ll make you some coffee.”
I ignore her instructions and pull her into the bathroom with me. “Did you stay up all night?”
She answers quietly. “No, but I didn’t sleep well. I woke up around five and decided to just wait for you downstairs.”
I cup her cheek in my hand. “Why didn’t you sleep well? You weren’t worried about me, were you?” I tease.
She nods shyly, embarrassed that I’ve called her out. I was only kidding, but I guess I hit a little too close to home.
“Rae.” I take my other hand and hold both sides of her face, playfully shaking her head to the beat of my words. “You. Don’t. Need. To. Do. That.”
She steps out of my grip and I worry I’ve made fun of her concern when it’s genuine.
“This whole wolf life might not be new to you, but it is to me,” she says, crossing her arms protectively against her chest. “I don’t know what warrants worry and what doesn’t. So, if you’re really going to tell me everything, it needs to start with that.”
She’s right. I feel like shit for not taking into consideration how this might affect her anxiety. She probably slept terribly because she was lying in bed thinking about all the things that might be happening to me out there in the woods, things she’s never had to consider before. After being unable to leave her house for two days because of Patrick, why on earth did I expect her to take this news so easily?
Jamie, you’re such a fucking idiot.
“I’m so sorry, Rae. Really.” I pull her into another hug. “My mind and body go haywire if I don’t shift when I’m supposed to, so it’s difficult to think about anything else. I wanted to explain everything to you yesterday, but there just wasn’t time.”
“I know that now,” she mumbles against my chest. “I just wish I could have put it all together sooner. I had no time to process. Once I realized what you are, you were already changing in front of me.” She pauses thoughtfully, but peers up at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers. “I wanted to talk to my best friend about all this, but the wolf took you away.”
Thatpunches me in the gut.
“Hey. I amalwaysyour best friend. Even if you can’t see me, I’m still in there. Sometimes I have to let the wolf take the wheel, but that doesn’t mean I’m not in the car.”
She rolls her eyes and steps out of my arms. “Nice analogy.”
I shrug. “I thought it made sense.”
“Did you—” She fumbles for her next words. “Do you remember anything when you’re in that form?”
“You mean once I come back? Yeah. But it’s different. It doesn’t play out in my head like it does when I’m human. My memories as a wolf rely on the five senses, and feelings. I remember what I was feeling more than anything.”
“And what did you feel this time?”
It looks like she’s waiting for me to say something specific, but I just say the first thing that comes to mind.
“Peace,” I tell her, voice quiet. “I normally resent my time as a wolf, because of how much control I have to relinquish, but this time I just felt peace.” I swallow the lump in my throat. As I try to focus back on the past twenty-four hours, something else comes to me. A smell.Hersmell. “You were there, weren’t you? You didn’t leave.”
She scratches her neck nervously and averts her gaze. “I stayed long enough to watch you turn. But you saw me, and you—”
Panic seizes me. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
Her answer is quick, so I release the breath I’m holding.
