Tara grinned as he helped her to the lounge. ‘Like old times, Ham,’ she said dreamily.
‘This is bullshit, Tara, I’m calling Wheaty.’
‘Wait a minute,’ Jemma said quietly. ‘This is our chance to sort this. Tara, where did you get the gear?’
Tara counted unheard beats with one finger for a moment. ‘That ute. You were right, Jem.’
‘Right about what?’ Jemma sounded as though she’d been accused.
‘A lot of things. You knew there was something wrong with the ute. I like you.’ Tara nodded earnestly as she rambled.
‘The ute?’ Jemma prompted. ‘That’s where you got drugs?’
Tara drew herself up, nodding proudly. ‘When we wentback last night, me and Charlee and …’ She looked around the room, frowning as she tried to work out who was missing. ‘Ethan,’ she added proudly. ‘I remembered. That was the ute that hit the ducklings. I’d chased them to the skatepark to rip into them. But they didn’t mean to do it.’ She shook her head mournfully, so many times that Hamish winced. ‘They says … said sorry, man. We had a drink.’ She grinned and waved a finger admonishingly at Hamish. ‘They roofed-roofed-roofied me, dude. Ethan was right.’
‘Then why the hell are you smashed now?’ he demanded. His blood was boiling, and he could barely choose between heading out to sort the bastards and shaking Tara to try to get some sense out of her.
Tara frowned and chewed at her lips, looking perplexed.
Hamish clenched his jaw and turned away. ‘Jesus, I should have come down on you like a ton of bricks, instead of letting the issue go.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ Jemma said briskly, with exactly the right amount of clinical detachment to make him feel her words weren’t simply a platitude.
His phone flashed up an unknown number, but he ignored it.
‘When we saw the ute at the piggery, I knew it was a sign.’ Tara nodded solemnly and tapped her nose. ‘So I went back today.’
‘You went out there to confront bastards who roofied you?’ Hamish blurted. Hell, Tara had to have known any guy in the town would have stood up for her, would have sorted the bastards.
‘What the fuck, man?’ Charlee interrupted. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were going there?’
‘’Cos you’re already so cool,’ Tara moaned. She suddenly started to sob, loud and harsh. ‘I wanted to be special foronce. I wanted people to say I’d done the right thing. You don’t know how horrible it is being stuck out here. Working in the diner, looking after other people’s kids, there’s nothing forme.’ She struck her chest with a clenched fist.
Jemma was keeping her distance, and Hamish realised with a flash of sympathy that she’d probably seen similar scenes too many times. He couldn’t blame her if she ran from this. Selfishly, he wished Charlee hadn’t brought Tara to his door. But then where would she have ended up?
‘It’s just shit,’ Tara continued, tears rolling down her cheeks. Apparently the ‘high’ element of whatever she’d taken had worn off. ‘We’re hundreds of kilometres from anything decent. There’s nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to see.’ She pushed her fingertips into her temples as she whirled back to Charlee. ‘You don’t get it—you lived in the city, though God knows why you’d want to move here. But at least you’ve got Ethan. Here, there’s nothing and nobody. All the guys are already hooked up or aren’t interested because they’ve known me all their lives.’
Hamish felt guilty, but what the hell else was he supposed to do? Add Tara to the list of conquests that no longer made him feel proud? How was that going to help her?
‘This is like …’ Tara jabbed her finger in various directions. ‘Being stuck here is like dying alive. I’m twenty-one years old, but Mum and Dad will freak if I move out. And where would I go, anyway? There’s no work in the city, and I don’t even know anyone there. I just need to escape.’
‘You can’t escape fromyourselfin the city,’ Charlee said with an unusual degree of grave calm.
‘Well, in any case,’ Tara said, ‘they only gave me smartees; the guys said they’re the ones that make everythingfeelbetter, and they were sorry ’bout what they did. To the ducks. And to me. All I want is to feel better, you know? And lasttime …’ she turned to Hamish, her eyes filling with tears. ‘Last time you looked after me.’
The immediate guilt was crippling. But Jemma’s hand slid into his.
‘Jesus, Tara,’ Charlee said. ‘Are you really that dumb? Smartees are fucking ecstasy.’
Hamish flinched. He’d have preferred not to know.
Tara shook her head adamantly. ‘No, they said it was Molly.’
‘Same thing,’ Charlee said.
‘No, it’s not.’ Tara still sounded defiant, though she glanced around, her breath coming fast and harsh.
‘Smartees, E, Blue Kisses, Molly, Vitamin E, Hug Drug, Lover’s Speed, call it any pretty name you want, Tara, but it’s all fucking shit.’ Charlee ripped up her sleeve, baring an arm scarred with old track marks. ‘You know my dad and grandfather still can’t look at me when I wear short sleeves? But everyone else looks, oh, yeah, sure they do. They look and they judge the shit out of me. And that hurts. And you know what? Thanks to Ethan, I’m one of the lucky ones. I got out early.’
