“Do you want to have dinner sometime?” I ask, taking myself by surprise as I prop myself up on an elbow to look at him. Have I just… asked Luke out? He stiffens under me and my stomach flips. I’ve fucked it. But then?—
“I’d love to,” he says, giving me a squeeze.
I relax into him, smiling to myself as he strokes a thumb down my arm. I’m not sure what caused me to blurt that out but I’m glad I did. Because it’s happening. Luke and I are going on a date.
CHAPTER 35
Luke
The following week,Emmy and I meet at an Italian restaurant in Borough Market. In all the nearly twenty years I’ve known her, I think this is the first time we’ve met up just the two of us. I’m nervous, and I hate that I am.
Maybe because I haven’t been on a date since my engagement to Lucy fell apart and I decided I was better off alone.
I arrive first and grab our table, ordering a bottle of chianti that I’m confident she’ll love. The place has been family run for generations. It smells of garlic and white wine vinegar, unfussy and honest. No queues snaking down the street like the Instagram spots, but always packed with people who know better. Their lasagne is the best in London.
Emmy arrives moments later, her face breaking into a wide smile as she sees me.
“Is it weird that I’m nervous?” she breathes, taking her seat opposite me and unfolding her napkin.
“I’m nervous too,” I whisper back and she does an exaggerated double take, clutching her chest.
“Unflappable Luke? A mere mortal after all? I’m shook,” she teases, grinning.
“I’m not unflappable,” I reply, giving her an amused smile. “But this is the first date I’ve been on in… a long time.”
She nods, eyes full of understanding.
“Me too.”
There’s a pause where we simply look at each other, some unspoken understanding passing between us. There’s a clatter from the kitchen and some loud Italian cursing as the wine arrives.
“Would madame like to try?” offers the waiter with a flourish.
“Madame would love to,” she replies with a grin.
I watch as the wine is poured and Emmy lifts the glass, giving it a delicate sniff. She closes her eyes and I take the opportunity to drink her in as she sips it.
“Delicious, thank you,” she says, proffering her glass up. The waiter fills it almost to the brim, cueing a delighted giggle from Emmy.
“You know, I don’t think I actually know much about how you and Nick became so close,” she says, looking at me through her lashes.
I shift slightly in my seat at the topic of Nick. I’m still feeling guilty about everything and he’s the last person I want to think of while my lizard brain is picturing what Emmy and I might do if we go back to mine after dinner.
“Well, we met at school, though I was two years above him. You’d have only been little then, maybe six?” I wince slightly at the age gap, but she doesn’t react. “Nick was about 13 or so and I was about 15 and we were on the same football team. We were both really into the same music and struck up a friendship.”
“That’s lovely. I can’t remember meeting you for the first time. It’s as if you’ve always been there.” She beams at the thought and I can’t help but smile back.
“I guess I have. I went off to uni to study economics and moved back to London in 2005. We were still good friends butuni made it harder to see each other. Nick had just done a gap year and then…” I trail off. The reason Nick didn’t make it to uni is abundantly clear.
“And then my parents died,” Emmy finishes for me.
I nod. Her eyes are slightly glassy but she gestures for me to go on.
“I don’t need to tell you that Nick became an adult with parenting responsibilities overnight. You were only 13 and it was never a question in his mind. Child services offered him the choice, you know. But he would never have walked away from you. And I would never have walked away from him.”
She smiles but it’s melancholic. I don’t need to tell her this story when she lived it.
“I’ve often wondered what it was like for him,” she says softly. “I’ll owe him for the rest of my life. I was horrible to him so many times and I didn’t tell him nearly often enough that I was grateful he was there for me.”
