He clears his throat as he finally looks at me. His usual poker face is in place and I wonder what’s going on behind those mossy green eyes.
“Is there anything you need?” His voice is low and commanding. “Where are you staying?”
“Offering to be my roomie, Luke?” I elbow him and wink. My arm connects with solid muscle and I almost wince. “I’m going to stay at the house for now but I’m looking for a flat. Colin can keep the house if he wants it.”
“The hell he will. You’re owed half of that house,” Nick grits out.
I wave a hand, dismissing his worry.
“I’m not going to worry about it right now. This is all brand new and Colin’s too much of a coward to come back right now so I’m fine. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” I sweep my hair over one shoulder and lean an elbow on the table. The adrenaline is wearing off now and the wine is setting in. I feel myself physically deflate, going slightly blurry around the edges.
“Do you think they’d be disappointed?” I ask in a small voice, the thought only crossing my mind as it pops out of my mouth. I suddenly feel a huge lump in my throat and I stare hard at the table.
“What? Who?” Nick frowns in concern, reaching for me again.
“Mum and Dad,” I reply, swallowing.
“Oh, Em. Look at me.” I lift my gaze to find Nick’s, his eyes going glassy as he blinks. “Mum and Dad would be nothing but proud of you. If anything, they’d be pissed at me for letting you marry someone who was clearly not good enough for you. I’ll never make that mistake again. Fucking Colin.”
“As if you had a say, big bro. We weren’t perfect but I kept assuming things would get better at some point? Like, he’d wake up and want me again. Like he did at the beginning.” I blow out a big breath. If I keep talking, I’ll start crying and I don’t want to cry in a shitty Soho pub on a Wednesday night.
“Emmeline.” Luke’s deep voice cuts through my morose thoughts as he levels his intense green gaze at me. I swallow. “You are worth 10 of Colin. A hundred of him. You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be better than ok. A new chapter, right?” He gives me a small, warm smile and my insides melt. I take a deep breath and return the smile.
Luke’s been in my life for almost as long as I can remember. They’ve always been a pair — my brother and his best friend, part of the makeshift family we formed after ours was torn apart. Luke was the one friend who stuck around after Mum and Dad’s accident. Our lives changed overnight when Nick became my guardian and Luke never left his side. He’s a couple of years older than Nick and had just finished uni when it happened.
Nick considers him a brother, which is awkward given I’ve had a crush on him since I was about 15. And maybe that’s why the weight of Luke’s gaze unsettles me now. It’s like a flame tome, promising warmth but with a hint of danger. Though frankly it’s laughable to think he’d ever see me as more than Nick’s kid sister. Any teeny tiny crush is entirely one sided. I blush as I snap my gaze back to Nick, who’s nodding emphatically in agreement.
“Exactly!” he chimes in. “To a new chapter!” He raises his glass and we all toast.
“Now, talk to me about Priya. How’s that bump?” I’m desperate for a subject change and Nick is finally happy to oblige.
“Well Priya obviously looks like a radiant goddess but she feels like a prize heifer, to use her words. The baby’s kicking her ribs a lot and the heartburn is 24/7 now.”
“Poor Priya, sounds rough. You got everything sorted for the nursery and such?”
Nick rattles off a list of things they’ve bought and what they still need to get while I steal a sideways glance at Luke. He’s nodding along as Nick animatedly describes a particular “travel system” they’ve got their eye on when he finally catches my eye again. I quirk a half smile in his direction and he clears his throat. He gives a tiny smile back and I return my attention to Nick.
It’s nice to see my brother so happy and in love. Priya’s a complete angel for putting up with him but they make each other happy in a way that’s really enviable. My brother’s always been neurotic and prone to panicking and she grounds him in a way that no one else can.
My stomach twists as I’m hit with a fresh thought: I’m alone for the first time in my adult life. Colin and I had 10 years together and they weren’tallbad. All that shared history has gone up in a puff of smoke. There will be no one to chat to about my day at work, no one to split a bottle of wine with, no one to fall asleep next to. Just a gaping hole where Colin used to be.A fresh pang whips through me and I blink rapidly to clear the tears that are threatening to spill.
I shift in my seat and catch Luke glancing over at me, an almost untraceable note of concern marring his beautiful features. I give him a soft smile and we both turn our attention back to Nick’s tale about a Moses basket and I lean my leg against his in the booth. He doesn’t look over at me again, but he doesn’t pull his leg away either. The warmth of the contact seeps into my skin, calming me.
I let that little comfort settle in me like a tiny ember, warming me long after we’ve all gone home.
CHAPTER 4
Luke
“So,I’ve been thinking, what about a ladies’ night?”
I look up from my laptop. Jessie has been talking at me for five minutes and I’ve only just registered that she’s asked a question. My mind keeps looping back to three nights ago, when Emmy Warner told us she was leaving her worthless husband.
“A ladies’ night?” I repeat, looking at her properly for the first time this evening. She’s wearing a sharp black pencil skirt and a tailored jacket, with scarlet lipstick painted perfectly on her full mouth. She’d look uptight in any other setting but here, it works. She exudes warmth while firmly demonstrating that she’s off limits.
“Yes, girls only, a sort of sapphic paradise for women who are interested in women but not necessarily experienced or confident. We could give it a really welcoming dynamic and encourage bicurious and heteroflexible women through the door. It could be a lot less intimidating than one of our normal nights, no?”
Jessie’s sharp, with a knack for spotting opportunities. She’s managed Salt since day one, and she’s the reason it’s one of London’s most exclusive memberships.
