“It’s something I’ve always been curious about,” I reply. “But part of me feels like a bad feminist for trading power to a man in exchange for a few orgasms.”
Luke snorts a laugh and gives me a wry smile.
“I understand why you’d think that, but the true power in any dom/sub dynamic always lies with the sub. They decide theboundaries. A good dominant always knows that. There should be no illusions where the real centre of power lies. That’s why safe words are so important in the dynamic.” He holds my gaze over the rim of his glass.
“And have you always been dominant?” I ask, cocking my head. I can’t really imagine Luke as anything but perfectly composed and in control.
“It’s more my comfort zone but I am open to both. I’m technically a switch, though don’t go spreading that around Salt.” He gives me a wink.
“Yes, Sloane calls you Daddy Dom Luke half the time,” I reply with a chuckle. He cringes.
“Well, there’s a nickname I hope doesn’t stick. I very occasionally demonstrate skills and scenes at Salt so I’ve earned a bit of a reputation.” He clears his throat.
“I bet,” I reply with a grin and push down the ugly pang of jealousy that kicks me in the gut. “Have you had lots of partners with a dom/sub dynamic?”
Luke shifts on the sofa and tilts his head as he thinks.
“A few, here and there. It’s not a dealbreaker for me. I’ve had plenty of partners where there is none of that at all. It’s something I enjoy dabbling in, with the right person.”
“Did you… ever do that with Lucy?” The question slips out before I can stop it. He closes his eyes briefly and I look down at my glass. I feel like I’ve overstepped. I brought up the ex that broke his heart and put him off relationships for the rest of his life. She’s probably not an easy subject for him.
“A little, here and there,” he says after a pause. “I was quite young back then, still figuring myself out. The most crucial thing at the heart of a power exchange is trust. You’re both putting yourselves in a position of vulnerability, in different ways, so it only works if there is absolute trust.”
He takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself.
“In some ways, what happened with Lucy hurt more because of the trust I believed we had between us. She proved to me that you can never be truly sure of someone else’s feelings. And blind faith in someone can backfire horribly.”
“I get it,” I reply, avoiding the temptation to squeeze his hand.
“It was a long time ago now,” he replies. “Better to learn we weren’t compatible before we got married, I suppose.”
I wince.
“Yeah, I can attest to that. I feel like I was asleep for all of my twenties and I’ve just woken up. 10 years was a long time to be married to someone who didn’t see me, you know?”
I sigh. This conversation has taken an emotional turn and I need to get things back on track. I’ve got no idea how to be fuck buddies with someone but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve mining one’s previous relationships for trauma over wine.
“I can imagine. Colin’s a fucking fool. He was never good enough for you in the first place and he should have been thanking his fucking stars for every day he had with you.” Luke’s tone is vehement and it sends a little tingle of warmth up my spine.
“You’re sweet,” I reply, trying to get us back into less dangerous territory. “How do you feel about fucking his wife?”
He gives me a mischievous grin that’s all male.
“I feel very good about it. Do you want to try a power exchange?”
“I’d love to. Just walk me through it ok?”
We talk through boundaries and agree on some things we’re both interested in trying together. By the end of the conversation, I’m ridiculously turned on and he hasn’t laid a finger on me yet.
He stands and we walk to the bedroom.
“Once we are in the bedroom, the scene will begin. You will do as I say and follow all of my instructions. Most importantly, if you say stop, I’ll stop. For today, you don’t need a safe word. It’s just ‘stop’. Ok?”
“If I say stop, you’ll stop,” I repeat, dutifully.
We pause outside the bedroom and he leans down to kiss me thoroughly. It’s like he’s saying goodbye to me and I recognise that the dynamic is about to shift, albeit temporarily. Heat blooms in my core.
“Thank you for giving me your trust,” he whispers, then pulls me into the bedroom.
