He rolls his eyes and then nods.
“And everything on your list – that’s all stuff you understand even if you’ve never done it? I want to be really sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Colin may have had no imagination but I basically lived my sex life out through my smutty books. I don’t think you’ll be able to shock me. One of my favourite books has a scene where the main character gets fisted with nettles, so really my little list is pretty tame.”
Luke takes a sip of his drink right as I say the word ‘nettles’ and chokes, eyes welling up as he catches his breath. I grin back at him.
“Noted,” he eventually gets out, between slight wheezes. I give him a moment to regain his composure, taking a sip of wine while I admire his forearms through my lashes.
I’ve always known Luke was hot but now I know that he’s a secret sex fiend AND that he kisses like a man who’s just escaped death row, he’s suddenly HOT hot. But I need to lay things out clearly so that we’re both going into this with the same expectations.
“I’ll level with you, Luke,” I say, fixing him my most business-like stare. “I have been married for almost my entire adult life. I am still bruised from the way things went down with Colin and I’m trying to work out who I’m going to be now that I’m on my own. I need escapism, fun, and a safe place to land. I don’t need a boyfriend, or another brother, or a dad. Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“I’m up for this.”
We raise our glasses in sync, and drink.
“Your place, then?”
He grins and then drains his glass, holding out a hand for me as I pull my coat on. My blood is thrumming with a potent mix of excitement and nerves as I thread my fingers through his and he leads us back through the pub. We’re about to cross a line that will change our relationship forever and—even though this was my idea—I can’t help but think there’s no going back.
Just as my stomach twists, Luke stops on the pavement and turns to me, lifting my hand and pressing a kiss to my knuckles. My pulse stutters as I close my eyes, my desperate little heart greedily drinking in the affection. He uses his other hand to tuck a loose lock of hair behind my ear, reverently stroking a line down my cheek with his thumb. His lips meet mine again in the softest caress and I swear I feel him smile.
“I just had to do that one more time,” he explains, giving me a lopsided smile. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER 19
Luke
Salt is onlya short walk from my house, and the pub is even closer. Within 10 minutes, we’re standing outside my front door and I’m fumbling – fumbling! – for my keys.
The blistering heat of that kiss in Salt has ebbed, leaving behind an unfamiliar creep of nerves as she fidgets on my front step. Even the easy flow of our pub chat has vanished, replaced by the heavy knowledge that everything between us is about to change.
I have to snap out of this schoolboy shit. I’m over 40, for fuck’s sake, and I’ve been with dozens of women. I should feel nothing but calm as I finally unlock the door and gesture her inside.
“Drink?” I ask, heading straight for the wine rack.
“Please,” she responds, kicking her shoes off by the door.
I pour us both a generous glass of red and we find ourselves on the sofa in a mirror of our last conversation here, a mere handful of days ago.
“Do you want to start by telling me what you know you like?” I suggest, shrugging off my suit jacket and settling into the cushions.
“Ok,” she replies, tilting her head to the side in thought. “I like basically everything I’ve tried so far. But that’s not a very extensive menu. I guess I’m a bit of a blank slate.” She shrugs, taking a sip of her wine and peeking at me over the rim. So, it’s not just me that’s suddenly nervous.
“Ok, well why don’t we use tonight to get to know each other a bit, in that sense at least. Forget the list; we can just explore and go slow and see what you like.” I aim for casual but my trousers are suddenly feeling uncomfortably tight.
“That sounds good,” she agrees, setting her wine down and turning to face me. Fuck, why does this feel so awkward? I set my glass down too and move forward a bit so we’re closer.
“You appeared rather suddenly tonight,” she says, tilting her head as she gives me a small smirk. “And just at the right time. Were you watching me, Luke?”
I study her, the glimmer of mischief in her eyes daring me to lie. Instead, I exhale slowly. “Of course I was watching you. You think I’ve been able to stop thinking about you since the last time you were here?”
I reach a hand out and brush my thumb over her bottom lip. She shivers slightly at my touch and the fire between us reignites. She blinks and my eyes slip to her throat as she swallows.
“You think I haven’t thought about kissing you before?” I continue, shifting closer. “About learning the shape of you underneath your clothes?” I put my hand on her thigh and inch it slowly upwards, taking the hem of her dress with me. “Do you think it’s possible to be in the same room as you and not notice every little thing about you? You’re a beautiful woman, Em. And I have a feeling I’m only just getting to know the real you.” My hand pauses halfway up her thigh. I’m pretty sure she’s stopped breathing.
“You think so?” she whispers, a touch of vulnerability in her voice. Fuck Colin for making her doubt herself.
