My heart sinks. She’s leaving?
After everything we’ve shared?
But before I can push for more information, she turns the spotlight back on me. “So, what about you? You stayed here after high school, huh? You must really love it here.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, trying to keep my expression casual, even though she just took a sledgehammer to my chest. The thought of Lo leaving again… it hits me harder than I expect. I know she has reasons, hell, I saw it from the moment she walked back into town.
But hearing it so plainly, right now? It stings.
“Yeah,” I declare, “I stayed. There’s something about this place, you know? It’s quiet. Simple. I get to work with my hands, spend my days on projects that need a little love. People leave, and people come back, but the land, this place, doesn’t really change.”
I glance at her as I try to keep myself busy, keep my hands from shaking. The truth is, I never planned on staying here forever. When I graduated, I figured I’d find a bigger city, somewhere with more noise, more opportunity. But when I went away for a bit, I realized I wasn’t the kind of guy who could handle too much noise. Too many people. Too many distractions.
And then there’s the part of me that was always meant to be here. Always meant to be with her, in some way. I didn’t know it back then, but I know it now.
“I guess it’s… in my blood,” I continue, looking down at the worn wood of the counter, tracing the grain with my fingers. “My grandfather raised me, and he’s a big part of Honeysuckle Grove. So, in a way, it feels like part of me is meant to be here. Even if I don’t always like it.”
“I get that,” Lo murmurs, still lost in thought. “When somewhere feels like home, you don’t give that up.”
I hear the layers of pain she’s trying to hide, but I also hear more. A plea. A wish, maybe. A desire for something to finally feel right, to feelsafe. But her pride is a wall that keeps it locked down tight.
We could be safe if she’d let us.
“Lo,” I start, “I know what it’s like, feeling like you don’t belong. I think I’ve been running from that my whole life.” I pause, my hand instinctively reaching for the worn wood of the countertop again. “But sometimes, you don’t find where you belong. You build it.”
She looks at me then, those dark eyes searching mine. I can’t tell what she’s thinking, but there’s something softer in her expression now. Vulnerable. And I can tell that she rarely lets people see this.
“Is that what you did?” she asks quietly.
I nod, though the answer isn’t exactly what she thinks. “Not exactly. But I built what I needed here. What I could handle. I guess I’ve always been a little afraid of what it would mean to settle down. Afraid of… getting tied to something, or someone. There’s this part of me that enjoys being in control of my own life, of my own space. And it’s easy to let that keep me from taking the next step, from letting people in.”
Lo raises an eyebrow, as if she’s skeptical but curious. “You’re telling me you never wanted to settle down? You just… chose this?”
I chuckle, a little surprised at how easily she reads me. “I didn’t think I did. But maybe I did. Maybe I built a life here because, even if I didn’t plan it, it’s the life I ended up wanting.”
She doesn’t say anything right away, just chews on her bottom lip as she picks up a dish and starts scrubbing at it, clearly still working through whatever’s swirling around in her head.
Maybe one day, she’ll trust us with the things in her head.
If we can convince her to stay.
“I don’t know where I fit in anymore,” she admits after a beat. “I feel like I’ve been trying to find my place, and every time I think I’ve found it, something happens and it slips away. Like I’m… like I’m just trying to keep from falling apart, trying not to let everything else crash into me.” Her hand stops moving for a moment, and she looks up at me again, eyes bright, but tired. “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
She exhales slowly, releasing some of the tension that’s been coiling inside her for so long. But her eyes don’t leave mine, not for a second.
God, I wish she would just say it. Say what’s really going on in her head.
I’m sure my packmates do as well. Maybe they would know what to say if they were here in this conversation with us. But I don’t. Never been good with words or advice. Just wood. Only wood.
So I’m left wondering what will happen next.
CHAPTER 23
Lo
It’swaytoo early in the morning for this, and I have far too much on my mind.
I wish I could have just ignored my phone bleeping, but I didn’t. I never do.
